Rain and Thunder
by slavedriver2008
Summary: Its summer and it's hot. Under such temperatures, attitudes flare as easy as wildfires. So when Yui and Tokiya crossed paths, things become too hot to handle! Luckily, summer comes with rain, thunder, and a possible romance.
1. Chapter 1

_I tried a Yui-Tokiya pairing in one of my fics but reverted it back to the original pairing. Anyway, here's my first official Yui-Tokiya story. Please enjoy reading!_

_**Disclaimer:** Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter One**

By Slavedriver2008

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I CURSED IN MY HEAD. My feet sloshed through small pools of rainwater, damping my newly-washed white sneakers. I was late for work and it was all because of the rain. If it had not brought thunder, I wouldn't have squirmed in one corner of my room, covering my ears. I love the rain but I hate lightning and thunder. Why do they always have to co-exist?

School had closed down for the summer and the most logical thing to do for a high school senior was to get a job. I'm in my final year in high school. I need all the money I can earn for university. The greenery of the park caught my attention and I glanced at my wristwatch. I can make it in time if I run faster. The way to the restaurant where I work traverses the national park, a place full of hydrangeas in violet and blue. I watch them sometimes from the restaurant window but I had never seen them after the rain.

I unintentionally slowed down, looking at them as I passed. They were beautiful, petals glistening with after-rain mist. I smiled as the smell of damp earth tickled my nostrils. I love the world after a good rain. It was always refreshing and clean. A strong wind passed through me and my hair was hitched up, my skirt was blown upward and I pushed them down immediately to cover my legs. But it was futile, anyone would have seen my knickers.

The sound of clicking came from the side and my eyes widened when I saw three men, watching me. The two were surprised, mouths opened. The one in the middle made my face burn. Anger lit up inside me and I looked back, mortified. The man, with long dark gray hair tied in a high ponytail, stood up and glared. It took me awhile before I finally mustered the courage to stomp toward them, flushed at being exposed.

"Give it to me," I demanded, heaving because of mixed humiliation and anger. The man held tightly into his camera.

"Why should I?" he asked with jaws clenched.

"You harassed me—You took photos of my underwear!" I breathed out angrily. His companions had stood up from the benches. "I demand you delete my photos—"

"It's a film camera, woman," he said sternly. "You ruined it by running into the frame. You wasted my film." I looked at him with disbelief. How can he be arrogant? "I waited for weeks to get that shot and you ruined it." He turned back and arranged his camera in the case.

I walked in front of him. "Then give me the film." I put my hand up, demanding the roll. He looked back with a smug reaction.

"In your dreams," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I said give it to me!" I grabbed his camera and he immediately hit my hand. I reacted as pain shot though the spot. His hand was heavy and strong and my skin immediately reddened from the slap. He was taken aback by my reaction, surprised at what he did.

"Tokiya, take it easy," the man wearing a baseball cap walked between us. "Miss, we're sorry. It was an accident." I bit my lip out of anger. I was trembling and tears beaded my eyes. My right hand hurt.

"Don't waste your breath Recca," he said with a hostile reaction. "She's angry. She won't listen to reason. They're all like that." He turned his attention on his gadgets, zipping his bag and putting it on his broad shoulder. He turned and our eyes met. If he wasn't such a cad, I would notice how handsome he was. But I was angry, who cares about how he looks? He took something from his pocket and threw it at my direction. I caught it with my hands, it was an ointment. "Let's go." He turned and walked away.

"We're really sorry," the man named Recca repeated, bowing down.

"Please forgive Tokiya, he's really very hot-headed lately," the other man, with a Mohawk and a burly body, said apologetically. "The ointment can make your hand heal faster," he added with a smile. They bowed and followed the man named Tokiya.

I clutched the ointment and angrily threw it. It hit the back of his head and he turned instantaneously, face contorted into shock then anger. "If you make copies of those photos, I will break your neck."

I turned around and ran toward my part-time work. I glanced at my wristwatch and I ended up cursing for real. Now I went beyond the 15 minutes grace period and will be berated by the manager. I would be lucky if he allowed me to continue working. I was heaving when I reached the door of the restaurant and Miaka immediately ran after me, dressed in the same uniform.

"Yui, you're late!" I walked past her and headed toward the counter. "Did something happen? Your hand is red!"

"I'm fine…" I answered, rubbing the spot with my thumb. I immediately changed into my uniform. "Did Yuuko-san come in already?" Miaka shook her head and I heaved a sigh of relief. What an incident to start a day of work. "I'll do the dishes later so you can go home early," I told Miaka and her eyes brightened.

"Arigatou, Yui-chan!" She embraced me before going back to work. Taka always fetches the brunette from work. We stay up until midnight to do a canvass of the ingredients inside the restaurant before calling it a day. I volunteered to do the extra work so Miaka can meet Taka earlier. I was really happy for them. No one comes in for me anyway. It's been almost a year since Tetsuya and I broke up and the last I heard, he had a new girlfriend. "There's a new group of customers in Table No. 16," Miaka said as I placed my name plate. I nodded and headed toward the table, pulling down the skimpy skirt that was my uniform.

If the owners were not neighbors, I wouldn't be in this job. It required too much time and energy, not to mention too many demands from the customers. I pulled out my little notebook and offered the customers my warmest smile.

"Ohayou! What would you have?" My eyes widened when my eyes met a pair of blue gray irises. The man who took photos of my exposed self earlier looked at me from head to foot, with a scrutinizing gaze that made my heart beat unbearably fast.

* * *

HER BLUE EYES WIDENED. I noticed it earlier, the color of teal, an unusual hue. And then her mouth moved to a frown, starkly different from the smile she donned before our eyes met. If she didn't get too dramatic, I would call her a beauty. But those little exaggerated reactions ruined it all. I hated the way women contort their faces to get what they want, thinking it was cute and attractive. Women, I have never been too annoyed of a woman before.

"Ah! Yui-san!" Recca greeted, in a warm smile he was famous for. My eyes landed on the breastplate where her name was written down. Yui. Elegant cloth. Probably Japan's most used girl's name. A normal name for a normal girl wearing a normal uniform in a normal restaurant at a normal district.

I hated it. It made me sick.

"Espresso, double shot," I said roughly. She was taken aback and then jotted down my order. "Ah no, make it triple," I said and she immediately erased what she wrote. When she was done I said again, "No, make it a single shot espresso." Her fingers clutched the pen and her jaw tightened, not saying anything.

"Would you have anything—"

"My espresso, make it a double," I said out, enjoying the anger that brewed over her face. "On second thought—"

"Tokiya," Recca hushed, frowning. Life was cursed when these two monkeys were around. Why can't they let me have my fun? "Sorry about that, Yui-san. Tokiya will get a double shot espresso. I'll get the caramel frappe!" he said eagerly. "Domon, what will you get?"

"Eh? Let's see…" The burly man looked through the selection in the counter and smiled. "I'll get a banana split!" he said aloud and the girl nodded.

"Hai!" She wrote everything down, now with a smile on her face. I leaned back on the seat, giving her the most intense glare I could. I wanted her to squirm in fear, in exchange for hitting me with the ointment. Her hand, I noticed, were still throbbing and red.

She refused to look my way as she walked toward the counter. I smirked, following her with cold piercing eyes. She pulled her skirt down and she almost dropped the notebook out of awkwardness. She was like all the normal girls in the world, blushing under my gaze. Annoying. It had always annoyed me, the way women lay in front of me, unmindful of their characters or what little respect they had of themselves. She consciously tugged the end of her braid, heaving a sigh. She almost lost balance while carrying the tray and I laughed. I wanted her to trip and fall, to graze her knees. I wanted to see that angry, blushing, mortified face again.

Recca made a sound and when I turned to him, he smiled wide, slowly. I looked back with a stern reaction, struggling to read the expressions on his face. Recca always smiled but when he don the mischievous look, I knew he was up to something. She handed us our orders and the strong smell of coffee filled my nostrils. I gulped it and immediately frowned, annoyed that it tasted good. Regardless, she wouldn't know that, would she?

"Bad shot," I said, placing the little glass before her. She looked back, surprised.

"But it was served before 10 minutes—"

"Your friend did something wrong with the concoction. Get me a new one, on the house." She breathed out and smiled thinly, taking the glass. Our fingers brushed, very light, very quick. I frowned.

"Hai, I'll get you a new one…" she said obediently and my hand clenched.

"You're very moody today," Recca noted and I leaned back on the seat, closing my eyes. "You should relax Tokiya. And don't pick on the girl for god's sake. From the way you look at her, you look like an obsessed maniac."

I grumbled, eyeing him sharply. Domon sniggered. "She ruined my day. It is only right that I ruin hers." The man stopped speaking when she came close, putting the cup in front of me. I took the cup under my nose, it smelled good. I drank it and smirked. It was good and lethargic. "Better," I said and she looked victorious.

"Yui-san, do you have a boyfriend?" It was Domon. The girl was taken aback and smiled thinly.

"I'm sorry, I don't have one," she squeaked. The two idiots nodded. Recca hit the table and smiled wide.

"Tokiya doesn't have a girlfriend—You two should date!" My eyes widened and she frowned. She didn't blush and instead of squirming like the normal girl that she was, she shook her head.

"It wouldn't work, Recca-san. I don't want to date someone I don't like." My nose flared and I made a sound of disbelief. "I also don't date men with no manners. Sumimasen," she said, moving away toward the next table to get their orders. I was fuming underneath.

The two monkeys sniggered and I leaned back on the seat, eyeing her murderously. To outrightly humiliate me… I stood up but Recca pulled my arm and I fell back on the seat. She briefly turned to us and looked away immediately, avoiding my gaze. How can a girl, a normal-looking girl with no spectacular background ruin a day I had been waiting for months.

I slapped his hand away and pulled a bill from my pocket, banging it on the table. I stood up and walked out of the table, clutching my camera bag and placing a hand inside my pocket.

"Eh? Tokiya!" Recca called, in a tone that annoyed the shit out of me. She turned and our eyes met again. I turned away and passed her as the two scrambled off their chairs, placing money on the table, rushing to follow after me. "Hey, wait up!"

I want them off my back, just for today. I want to be alone.

Rain water damped the soles of my shoes, black leather shoes I bought almost a year ago, when not getting shabby and dressing properly was a requirement. A time when my damned life was carefully planned and arranged, each day was a pleasure to live in. But now, it had become like the season, unpredictable, moody, cold, and irritating.

I reached my apartment in less time, entering the barren place with soles leaving traces of mud on the floor. My feet led me to the dark room and I quickly took off my shirt, letting the humid air bring heat to my body. How long was it since I last set foot on this place to print photos? I have almost forgotten the concoctions and as I dip the paper one at a time, the familiarity came back one at a time.

Blue. The pictures were supposed to be submerged in tones of blue. It was the theme of the end-summer collections. It had been a year since I stopped taking photos, since I stopped using film cameras, since I led a purposeful and meaningful life. A year since I stopped joining club activities and since she left me in this dump.

The images appeared, the hydrangeas with after-rain mist. I pinned it one by one, letting it hung dry. I watched the colors come and the contrasts come into play. The only thing I wanted to take photos of were the hydrangeas. But I got an image of her instead, running into the frame, stopping, the wind blowing fast and strong, lifting her skirt.

I lit a cigarette. The last picture was of her turning to me in those wide teal eyes, a hand clutching the hair on her cheek while the other keeping the skirt down, knees bent. I pulled it out of the line and brought it out into the light, leaving the others behind, scrutinizing the tiniest details of the picture. Bitterness spread through my tongue and I placed the picture on the table, walking toward the window to look at the park below, where the hydrangeas were in full bloom.

The phone rang and I let it. I don't want to talk to anyone, not with a busted mood. It stopped and then rung again, piercing the solitude of my apartment. I angrily took it and brought it to my ear, relishing the taste of nicotine.

"What?"

"Moshi moshi Mi-chan!" It was a girl. Yanagi Sakoshita. I put out the cigarette and slumped on the bed, watching the plain blue ceiling as she started to talk. "Recca told me you walked out on them today—"

"What do you want?"

"The Summer Festival is coming this Friday, do you have a date?" she asked and I didn't respond. What a stupid pathetic answer. "Oh, anyway. I met up with a childhood friend today. I want to introduce the two of you at the festival—"

"I'm not interested."

"Come on! It's been a year since you didn't go out on a date! The Summer Festival would be perfect, let's all hang out together so you won't feel pressured to talk to her," she said without breathing and I let her be. Even if I want to, I cannot take it in myself to disrespect Yanagi. She looked damn like my sister.

"I don't want to date," I said, not in a tone that intended to argue but one that will not be easily assuaged.

"Fine, it's not a date. I'll just introduce her this Friday. Don't forget to dress very nicely!" She gave me a few more instructions before she hung up. Women were annoying that way. Always thinking they're in control one way or another. "Oh and Tokiya-san," she said when I was almost about to drop the phone. "O-tanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu!"

I threw the phone on the floor when the dial tone came. It continued to rung in my ears, an annoying repetitive sound. I stood up and pulled a shirt from the drawer, putting it on and heading out of the apartment. I don't have to walk far to know where to find her. She lived on the next door, used to always ask for water when she wanted something else from me.

The door parted slowly and she came out, dressed in a black lingerie, her usual outfit after a day of work. She rubbed her eyes and turned, yawning, asking silently what I want. It was the usual of course. I smirked. She understood and let me in. As the doors closed I knew that this birthday was the worst in the world.

**

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_A/N:_**_ Dark and angsty, this first chappie. :D Don't forget to leave reviews!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Yay, another chapter! Don't forget to leave reviews!_

_**LeeRaRa: **Yeah, I hope it will turn out to be a good story. :D  
_

_**Ishida-Nadare:** I'll try to update this story often since I'm really focused on **The Blue Flower** at the moment. Heehee.  
_

_**ThePinkMartini: **Well, I'm sticking to Canon so Fuuko is for Domon in this fiction. Sorry for the disclaimer. Hehe.  
_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Two**

By Slavedriver2008

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HE WAS HERE AGAIN. I was wiping the counter, two hours after closing time. He was the only customer left and I have tons to do. But restaurant rules prohibit us from shooing customers regardless of how annoying they were. I can't wash the dishes with him still inside. Why can't he go home? Was it his way of annoying me again?

I looked at his form, seated at the far end of the restaurant, facing the large windows that showed the park. From where I stood, I can only see the darkness and some small light. Some patch of green can be seen but no flowers were around. He was handsome when he's not speaking, though I don't know if I should be thinking of such things after what happened between us less than 12 hours ago. He looked sad, the way I was after the incidents in the book of the four gods. Like losing an important part of yourself and then realizing later on how stupid it was to lament for so long.

"If you continue staring at me, you won't finish your job," he said aloud in the bare restaurant, turning his head slightly to my direction. A smirk left his face and I frowned, flushing.

"We've been closed for two hours," I said, trying to regain my composure. "If you left before closing time, I would be going home by now."

He stood up and walked toward the counter, never taking his eyes off me. Damn, he was so hot, how can he be such a cad? In few long strides he was in front of me, leaning on the counter, smirking in that annoying yet alluring manner. He stared at me intently and I don't know whether to answer his gaze or to look down.

"Your eyes…" he whispered, still staring intently.

"What…?"

"In the day they're more blue, but at night they are more green," he noted and I blushed. No one noticed my eyes before and even Miaka could not tell the difference. It was my secret. "They say people with eyes that change colors cannot be trusted," he quipped and my jaw tightened. I looked around, trying to control my anger. He hasn't paid his bills yet and I'm not willing to throw him out and pay it with my paycheck.

He placed a photo on the table and I looked down. It was the one he took earlier, with my skirt flying up. He had printed it in a bigger paper, ones that were probably as big as my laptop. He pushed it closer and I looked at him intently. He straightened up and I had to look up to meet his gaze.

"It's only a second copy," he said. "Just to prove that we didn't see anything unnecessary, not that it matters." His voice was softer now. He turned around, headed for the door. I took the photo and gasped. It was beautiful, the way he took it. It was not obscene, it was…

"Lovely…" I whispered and he turned. "But lonely…" I met his questioning eyes and I looked away, putting the picture down. "I'm—Thank you."

"I want you to see how you ruined what could have been a perfect shot," he said sternly. I made a face of disbelief and frowned. I clutched the rag and controlled the urge to throw it at him. I was angry and he was the only person who can make me seethe with a small comment.

His eyes lit up and he placed a hand to cover what I think was a smile. Flustered, I placed down the rag and turned around, too mad for my own good. I walked to the bathroom and closed it behind me, covering my face with my hands. I opened the faucet and let water wash through my still throbbing hand. My psychiatrist said I should calm down and avoid thinking too much, right now, my head was creating images of him, making my heart beat unbearably fast. I sighed as the water slowly relieved the anger in my body.

The door immediately opened and I turned, surprised. He stepped inside and closed it behind him with a sound. Quick footsteps ran to me and I backed toward the farther end of the cubicle, fear filling my body.

"Why are you—" A cold hand covered my mouth and he pushed me to the wall. The washroom was small, fit for only one person. With him inside, we were like canned tuna meat. I panicked at our closeness and I struggled to push his hand off my mouth.

"Shhh…" he hushed me and my eyes darted to him, angry. "There's someone in the kitchen…" My heart pounded fast. Was it a thief? Did Miaka forget to close the kitchen door before she left? I tried to push him away and he eyed me angrily. Our bodies collided in the dark and my heart pounded when footsteps came closer to the washroom.

Tokiya looked around, probably hoping to come across any toilet materials he could swing on the thief's head. Finding none, he slowly turned around and left my mouth. I held my breath as the smell of after shave cologne gently moved away. The footsteps left the door of the bathroom and he slowly opened the door. I barely moved when he ran out and strangled the man. I stepped out of the bathroom in time to see him land a punch on the thief's face.

Dark glasses fell on the ground and I gasped. "Tetsuya!" My former boyfriend coughed out blood and Tokiya moved back, still eyeing him sharply.

"Yui—" he stood up and walked toward me but the long-haired bishounen placed an arm in front of me. He stopped and eyed him, wiping the blood at the sides of his mouth. "Move out, punk." Tokiya didn't budge and Tetsuya eyed him angrily, brown eyes meeting blue. "Is this your new boyfriend, huh Yui? You could do better than choose another Nakago—"

"Tetsuya, stop!" I pulled down Tokiya's arm and stepped toward Tetsuya, heaving. "Why are you here? Why are you sneaking in the kitchen?"

"I'll take you home—"

"I told you to stop already!" My voice rose and my heart beat uncontrollably again. Tetsuya always does things that make me angry. He was not good for me. It was the reason why we broke up, maintaining a relationship with him was not healthy for my sanity.

"I need you, Yui—Don't believe that doctor. He's insane—" I slapped him. His eyes widened. "Yui…" I shook my head. "Yui…" I shook my head vigorously. He touched my arms and I pushed his hands away.

"It's been a year. I've forgotten," I stated, staring at his big brown eyes. It was surprising how I suddenly fell out of love for him, just because my doctor told me to find another man, someone who wouldn't remind me of Shinjintenchisho, someone who would not make me this emotionally unstable.

The book broke me and seeing Tetsuya, watching him turn away with that rejected lonely eyes, it continues to break me. A tear fell from my eye. I was not crying because he was leaving my life for good. I was crying because I was weak. I couldn't put it past me. And he had to get hurt because of that weakness. A sob escaped my throat and I turned back to the counter, passing the bishounnen whose presence I had momentarily forgotten.

I continued my after-hours chores and I never noticed if he left or not. All that I know was that I was not okay and I needed help.

* * *

I TRIED TO FORGET IT. But the sound of the wind hitting the glass window brought it back, again and again, her soft slow sobs as she cleaned and counter and closed the restaurant. I can hear it whenever the wind howls. I stood up from bed and went straight to the dark room, where the wind would not find me and the rain would not remind me of tears.

I hate rain. I hate tears. I escape.

I pulled out the roll of film, of photos I took that night. It had been days since it happened but I had forgotten about it. Those were shots I took again in my attempt to resurrect that graceful after-rain look on the hydrangeas. After all, the mist remained on their petals and the cloudy sky had not dried the pools of water on the park. One by one the images came, drenched in hues of blue. I clipped it beside her photos, now brimming with colors, letting it dry and waiting for the colors to sink in.

I lined them on the clothes line on top of her images, stepping back and waiting. I lit a cigarette. As I had expected, the hydrangeas were not as beautiful, not as lively, not as bursting with colors as the time when she ran into the frame. It was a bunch of useless images and I pulled them down one by one, ripping them in half as my cigarette burned in the ashtray. Wasted paper filled my trashcan permeated by the smell of freshly dried chemicals.

I pulled the last one. It was an image of her and her brunette friend, chatting happily behind the counter. It's not flowers and it's not blue so it gets ripped. I looked at the photo again, debating whether to throw it away. For one, the angle was good and she was submerged in various red and brown hues. But she still stood out, her dusty blond hair, her striking blue eyes that seemed to add life to the whole picture.

The telephone rang and I took it from the cradle, not taking my eyes from her face. There was something about it that made the picture, well, perfect. "Moshi-moshi?" I asked.

"Mi-chan, it's me Yanagi," the familiar female voice said and I grumbled in response. "I called to remind you about the festival. Don't be late!"

"It's raining," I said without care. I pinned the photo back on the line, the only remaining survivor of the carnage I just did.

"It stopped almost 30 minutes ago," Yanagi said matter-of-factly. "I'm about to leave the house now. Recca and Domon are picking me up! Are you on your way?"

"I'm busy," I said, still staring at the picture. I can't stop unless I found out what made it better than the flowers, why it deserved a spot in the exhibit.

"Tokiya! You promised to come!" she screamed and my eyebrows creased.

"I'm printing photos," I told her. I was not in the mood to go out. I wanted to stay hidden in the dark room and watch the photos dry.

"Mi-chan, tonight's the best night to take pictures! There will be fireworks…" she tempted and I raised an eyebrow. There was an instant as a neophyte when I became addicted to firework shots. That was a long time ago. The addiction had passed.

"Yanagi—"

"She'll be coming and it took me days just to force her to come. So please get a shower and meet us at the temple. We'll wait," Yanagi said and before I could react, she placed down the phone. I cursed and took my cigarette. It had already burned out.

There was no other option was it? I hated it when my friends do the "We'll wait" tactic on me. It was damn annoying because it's effective. With heavy steps, I walked toward the bathroom and took a fast shower, unmindful whether I scrubbed at the right places. I stepped out, cold and damp, hanging my hair down to let it dry. In a few minutes I found myself staring at the wall clock, letting time pass, thinking of the photos clipped on the clothes line.

A ringing sound brought me back to my senses. This time, it was my mobile phone. I didn't answer it and placed a white shirt and faded jeans. Who cares if I don't dress in traditional clothes? No one will notice. I put on rubber shoes, surprised I still had those things in my room. My mobile phone was already ringing for the fifth time when I stepped out of the house to answer it.

"Where are you?" Yanagi asked, evidently impatient.

"Walking. Be there in 15 minutes," I replied. She sighed.

"I thought you're not coming," she laughed lightly. "She's already here. Did you dress nicely?" she inquired and I took out a cigarette from my shirt pocket, placing it in my mouth, and lighting it.

"Yeah," I lied. I always wear jeans and white polo shirts, no one would notice I'm wearing the same damn thing. "I'll see you." I closed the phone and slid it in the pocket where my cigarette sticks were, not waiting for her to say goodbye.

"Someone's got a date," a soft voice called and I turned to find her standing at her doorway, wearing the usual black lingerie. She smiled and flicked those eyelash extensions, blonde hair hanging over her shoulders. I smirked and walked to her, she smiled.

"You forgot your clothes," I teased and she laughed. Long fingers brushed through my belt and pulled me. I knew what she wanted, it was the same old shit. She stepped back toward her apartment, urging me to follow.

"Come—"

"No," I said, pulling her out and pushing her to the wall. "Let's do it here." Her brown eyes widened and she pushed me away. I laughed and stepped back, pulling another cigarette from my pocket and treading the path out of the complex, to where another woman was waiting.

"Tokiya—" she called and I didn't turn. She called me again but I continued to walk away, one hand in my camera case, the other clutching a nicotine stick. It was the first time I didn't give in to her demands, and I didn't regret it.

I learned it that night. Pathetic.

I reached the temple and was probably more than 10 minutes late. But who's counting? Everyone who walked around me were wearing traditional Japanese clothes, yukata and fudonshi, walking back and forth the temple area, holding fans or paper umbrellas. My eyes saw lovers, blushing and whispering under the starry after-rain night sky. I wanted to puke but I ended up sighing and walking ahead, finishing the last remains of the stick between my fingers.

"Tokiya!" Recca called and I frowned. He patted my shoulder and I raised an eyebrow as I looked at what they wore. Like everyone else, they were in traditional Japanese clothes. I stood out like a sore thumb.

"Why aren't you dressed up?" Yanagi called. "I can't believe you, Mi-chan! You were late for an hour and you're not presentable enough!" I made a face, not saying anything, continuing to smoke. The rest of the gang walked toward me like I'm some sort of a star. Well, I am the eldest and they tend to gravitate toward the more experienced member. I wanted to laugh at the thought. Heck, who was I fooling?

Domon was with Fuuko, Recca with Yanagi. Great, where's my date? I wanted to ask distastefully. Being dragged into this situation was by far becoming the worst night of my week. The monkeys kept on talking and I didn't listen to them. Instead, I looked around, waiting for inspiration to strike me. I want the fireworks to come so I can go home and print photos and hopefully improve my pictures for the exhibit. I was not as good as I used to be. Probably because I'm using a different camera and I'm still getting used to doing things manually again.

The beauty of images depends on what a photographer sees. Right now, I'm seeing shit. It was not a good sign, I was not inspired enough to come out with a spectacular breathtaking photo. So much for getting published in major teen magazines and those now useful regional photography awards. My eyes were no longer as good as before. I had become rusty within a year.

"Where is she?" Yanagi asked, looking around. "Argh! I can't find her!"

"Let's call it a night," I said, walking away. I wouldn't care less where my date was, I simply wanted to be alone. Maybe if I'm not with anyone it would come back. My muse, where had she ran off to?

A firefly caught my attention and I immediately took out my camera, following it. My eyes came across a little girl walking hand in hand with a little boy, a red balloon tied on her wrist. I smirked and followed them instead. They stopped in front of a stall with gold fishes swimming in a made-up pool, catching them in paper nets and then groaning if the net gets ripped by the flapping fish. I crouched down and took photos of the children, the boy pointing at the swimming fishes and the girl, giggling and blushing under the electric bulbs.

The sound of children filled my ears, struggling to catch and watching with awe as a better "fisher" successfully capture one or two. I stood up and took a step to my left, looking for a better angle. I took another step and I was hit by one passerby, I skidded and hit a sitting figure and in my effort to avoid falling on the figure, I fell knees first on the ground, soiling my faded jeans. When I turned to her, my eyebrow creased as I watched her gasp, the fish escaping her net, leaving it broken and ripped open.

"Look what you did!" she screamed like a child, holding the ruined paper net. Our eyes met and my eyebrows creased. Her eyes widened and I ended up smirking. I turned to look at the other figures beside her, children crouched around the pool, their eyes moving from her to me.

What was her name? Ah, Yui. How can I forget Japan's most normal girl's name. Yui followed my gaze and she flushed, unconsciously pouting as she realized how childish it was of her to be competing with children. She probably realized what played on my mind because she glared back in those eyes that were predominantly green at night. For the first time in weeks, I laughed.

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A/N:**__ Heehee. Festival scene! I've never made a festival chapter before so I'm really very excited to do the next chapter. :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_Yeah, inspiration has arrived in this fiction. Heehee. This means I am updating this a chapter or more before procrastination hits me again. :D_

_**LeeRaRa: **Yeah, it will be a series of cliffy endings. Haha. Sorry for that. :)_

_**ThePinkMartini: **Tokiya Mikagami is a SURE WIN all the same! Haha. I'm soooo in love with him. *blush***  
**_

_**Disclaimer: **Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Three**

By Slavedriver2008

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HIS PRESENCE DRIVES ME INSANE. I could not understand why he kept on sitting a few feet away, watching me catch the fishes in the temple summer festival. His eyes were cold and piercing, blue gray irises that reminded me of an angry thunder-filled sky. Believe me, that's the last I wanted to remember. My eyes would look at him in my peripheral vision, but his eyes never stopped watching me and the children.

"Onee-san, focus on the fish!" Mamoru told me, a seven-year-old boy who requested me to get him a fish. I flushed and nodded, smiling hesitantly. I could not get a decent catch since he arrived and I was getting uncomfortable the longer he stayed. Mamoru's sister, three-year-old Mina, looked up expectantly. "Uhm, onee-san, why don't you teach me how it's done instead?" he asked and I smiled.

"Hai, next time you can catch for you sister," I said, handing him the paper net. The boy eagerly took it, excited at the thought of doing something grown-up at such a young age. "Now, place it down gently," I said.

I continued to give him instructions like not placing the net too near a fish because it will immediately swim away. The boy tried and tried while I whispered instructions. He had unsuccessfully used two paper nets and they don't have money. I paid for another net, it's a good thing I just got my paycheck. By the fifth try, he had successfully caught a fish and I couldn't help but clap my hands in surprise.

"You did it!"

Mina and I clapped at his achievement while he gave the fish to the man in the booth who acknowledged him with a toothy grin. After the man placed the fish in a plastic bag with water, we stood up and their mother came, thanking me for taking care of her children for awhile.

I turned to Tokiya and he was still following me with his gaze, holding his rusty film camera in hand. I rolled my eyes and looked away, to go around the festival area and try to enjoy myself. Miaka was with Taka and I'd be crazy to go with them. My phone rang and I let it be. I'd be crazy to answer it either. Tonight was like all the other nights, I'm running away from a relationship or a possible one.

I'm simply not ready. Not in my state.

A cotton candy man caught my attention and I walked toward him, eventually buying a big fluffy roll and eating it as I go around. I've been going to summer festivals as long as I can remember but tonight was the only instance I was _forced_ to wear a yukata. I must admit, though, that I liked the way it hugged me.

Blue ocean waves and colorful fishes, the design was perfect for the summer festival. But even though it fascinated me, I should not, by all means, get attached to the yukata. I was not to get obsessed and should maintain a neutral fascination for everything. It was my doctor's advice: Never dwell on one thing because it will be bad for me.

I had been under medication since the incident in the book, around four years ago. I was not crazy, just emotionally unstable. If I had been this "unstable" before the book, my doctor would have easily diagnosed me as bipolar. But that was not the case. I was "sane" before the incidents of the book, I was perfectly fine.

I don't know what went wrong, how it went wrong and why it did. All I know was that I can't control my feelings anymore. It seemed to have morphed into a big entity, swallowing me and placing me under its mercy. When the episodes strike, I lose control of myself, I become a different person. And it scares me. But enough about my problems, I was not in the festival to dwell on my damned state. I'm here to have fun, lose my inhibitions in the colorful lanterns and in the crackling of fireworks.

By the time I finished eating the cotton candy, I was close to reaching the temple and I decided to leave a prayer. I don't know how long it took me but I do remember wishing for one thing and I'm not going to share it because it might not come true. I pulled the rope and the temple bell rung, the sound made me smile. I wish it would come true. Before the summer ends.

I briefly wondered when the fireworks would come. It was the only thing I wanted to see and the sooner it comes, the earlier I can go home. By now, Miaka would have had spent Taka's money buying all the food in the festival and the thought made me chuckle. I should have swallowed my pride and stayed with them. I shook my head because it was a pathetic thought.

I don't want to see what I lost.

A bunny head balloon caught my attention and I walked toward it, not thinking twice and bought it. I used to have a rabbit at home but I had to give it away even though I really wanted to keep it. The neighbor's cat doesn't pass my apartment window too, after I accidentally threw boiling water during one of its sex screams. You know those shrill mewls cats do when looking for a lay? That was it. I hated that noise. Well, I didn't mean to splash hot water in the first place, I just… thought it was a rat. I'm all alone now, like how I've always been. Why doesn't that surprise me?

"Yui-chan!" It was Miaka and I immediately turned to find her walking toward me, Taka was nowhere to be found. "You're still alone?" she asked with disbelief and I nodded, smiling. "Hmp! You should tell—"

"Its fine," I cut her. "Where's Taka?" I asked and she smiled wider, blushing.

"Well… he's getting the motorcycle and we're planning to leave. Are you still staying?" I nodded.

"I'm waiting for the fireworks. It should come any minute now," I answered, looking up at the sky for any sign. What caught my attention was not the fireworks but the Southern night sky—Miaka's sky. It made my skin crawl.

"Do you really have to wait? We can drop you off—"

"Miaka, its fine." I smiled wide. I was not a kid, I can go home on my own. And there's no way I'm riding Taka's motorcycle. The law prohibits three riders. "You don't have to worry. I'll go home right after."

"Okay, but don't stay up too late, ne?" I nodded and she smiled. "And by the way Yui, if your date doesn't come, there's a handsome man behind you just about now. I think he used to come to the restaurant." My eyes widened and I was about to turn when Miaka stopped me. "Don't look, baka. He's been following you," she teased and my cheeks brightened.

"Miaka—"

"Be nice to him, okay? At least get his number." She winked before finally bolting away, leaving me undecided whether I should turn or not.

I shook my head and stood still. Why was he following me? What the hell was wrong with him? I walked toward the direction where Miaka left, still holding to the bunny balloon. I suddenly regretted buying it but why would I even care about him?

"Look a bunny!" A little girl wearing a blue kimono pointed toward my balloon and her mother bowed apologetically, pulling her hand down. Her blond hair was tied in a half-ponytail, like mine.

"Michiko, it's not proper to point," she whispered, pulling the girl away. I followed them and the girl repeatedly looked back, eyes lightning at the sight of the balloon.

"Mama, the bunny is following us," she whispered and I bowed before her mother.

"You can take it," I said softly and the girl squealed. She slowly took the balloon and I smiled, watching the happiness over her blue eyes. It was like looking at a younger sister or a younger me. I bowed at her mother and turned around, walking the other way.

"Onee-san, arigatou!" she screamed and I turned, waving slowly before walking away, face down. I accidentally hit someone and I lost balance. A hand wrapped around my waist and when I looked up, my face brightened.

* * *

SHE SMELLED OF LAVENDER. I wanted to freeze the reaction on her face and take a shot but when I lifted my camera, she quickly moved away. The surprise had been wiped from her face and a frown took its place. I expected her to drop the first word but it didn't come and we stood there for awhile, staring at each other as everyone walked around us. She pursed her lips and sighed, turning away.

"What, no apology?" I asked and her brows creased. Something leaped inside me at the sight of her angry face. "And I thought I was the one without manners."

"_You_—It was your fault. You were—"

"You were not looking," I stated and her jaw clenched. "It's your fault." She gasped and I saw her hand tremble, it always does when she's angry. She whisked her right hand and turned away, controlling another encounter. But before she could completely move, one of her slippers snapped.

"What…?" Wide blue eyes looked down and I wanted to laugh at her helpless state. I wanted to, really. But when she was about to pick it up, I did something I don't normally do. Not even in my toxic drunken state.

"Hold on my back," I said, sitting down and taking the slipper. She held on my shoulder, watching me re-tie the ropes.

I have seen it done before. Once. It was when my sister brought me to a summer festival. My slipper snapped and she re-tied it, the way I was doing it now. I tried to remember the knots she did and the lovely look on her face as she pacify my cries. I was too young to remember but the memory had been kept in my head. When was the last time I thought of her? As I moved my fingers over the slipper, I thought it was _hers_. I shook my head at the thought. Even the size was the same.

"Tokiya-san, you don't have to—"

"It's done," I said and without another word, I slowly placed it on her right foot, careful not to make her lose balance. "It's not as strong as before, you should still get a new one," I told her as I stood up.

"Hai… Arigatou," she said, bowing to me, a coy smile on her face. Her cheeks were as red as tomatoes and it did not please me at all. I hated seeing her blush like all the normal girls in the world.

"Still no apology?" I teased and she looked back with disbelief. Now, I like that reaction better.

"For awhile you were such a gentleman and then—" She didn't finish and instead, shook her head and turned away. "Don't wait, I'm not saying Sorry." She stomped and I wished the ties would snap again.

Gentleman? Me? This girl must be insane. I did not help her because its _her_. I did it for my sister. I followed her, waiting for the ropes to loosen and for her to stumble. I wanted to see her fall on the ground, to bruise her flawless knees. I wanted to see her helpless and humiliated, with a look of anger and shame on her face. Just like the first time we met. But it didn't, I seemed to have made a decent job of re-tying it.

Every now and then she looked back and walked faster once she found me walking behind her. I don't care if it drove her nuts. Damn, she was driving me insane. And she was not doing anything but… But _walk_. A brief image appeared in my head and I pushed it away. There was no way—

"You are annoying! Stop following me around!" she exclaimed, turning around in a tone that doesn't give a damn about the people around us. For the first time since I started following her, I became very aware of them, eyes watching us intently, waiting for an outburst or an explosion or a humiliating scene. It was the reason I hated festivals; people like making scenes and watch others.

"Dream on. There's no way I'm following you," I responded sternly, walking closer. The smell of lavender fleeted again in the humid night air. Was it in her hair or her perfume? The smell was too faint as if it was brought by the wind. But I _knew_. It was _her_. I stepped closer, more than an arm's away.

"You've been—stalking me!" she said, her voice tight. Her face was the color of roses. Lavender and roses was a good combination, I thought. I stepped closer, looking intently at her angered face. She didn't look away like the normal girl that she was. Maybe it was the effect of the cotton candy she devoured earlier. Her lips retained the pinkish hue and her tongue was probably bathed in the same color.

She looked back, jaws clenched, with a determination that made me mad for some reason. I can smell mint in her warm breath and I can see the small pores at the tip of her nose. My hair touched hers and she blinked repeatedly, lips pursed. She bit her lip and I saw white teeth, gracing over rosy lips.

"Don't think too highly of yourself," it came out as a whisper and I expected a rebuttal. None came. I moved closer, the lavenders filling my nostrils and surprisingly not making me sneeze.

"Yu-chan! Mi-chan!" a familiar voice called us and we both turned to find Yanagi walking toward us, the gang following her. Recca wore that annoying sheepish look. I wanted to punch him because I was damn angry at being found.

"Yanagi—" we both said at the same time and we ended up looking at each other, surprised.

"This is amazing! You found each other!" Yanagi said, giggling, as if she just did a very good deed. "Were you about to kiss?" she asked and Recca sniggered. I really wanted to punch him. But for some reason, another me was stopping the other me.

"WHAT?" we both said, again at the same time. She stared in that annoyed angry face. Yanagi laughed harder. Recca brushed a finger on his nose, sniggering.

"WHOA! Mi-chan's got a real girlfriend now!" It was Fuuko and she wrapped an arm around Yui's shoulder, looking closely at her surprised face. I clasped Fuuko's wrist and pulled her away and I knew Yui was momentarily relieved. They were never friends for god's sake. The act made that tomboy smile wider. If she was not a woman, I would have punched her as well. She was annoying that way.

"They even say the same things!" It was Domon, who surprisingly noticed too many things tonight. What was wrong with the world?

"WE ARE NOT—!" Yui stared back in horror, her green eyes emitting fire. The whole gang laughed at the way we said the same words at the same time.

Yui's face was flustered and I can identify the ire when she finally realized that Yanagi paired us tonight. How was it possible that they knew each other? I was displeased with the thought too but I was surprisingly fascinated with the anger on her face. I smirked and the redness on her cheeks spread toward the tips of her ears, making me want to move my tongue along the curve and bite it. I blinked. What?

Yanagi pulled my left hand and it took me awhile before I realized that she tied a red ribbon between our pinkies. Yui gasped and flushed. It was tied tight and my finger was slightly feeling cold, as if blood clotted on that spot.

"What are you—"

"Because you made me look all over, you two are going to join us in exploring the back temple," Yanagi told us and I raised an eyebrow. "I really don't want to force you two but I am just—desperate to pair you together!"

"Yo, Mi-chan. Don't look surprised, you know what that red ribbon does," Recca said, winking at me. "Don't do anything naughty—or at least don't let us find you."

My teeth grinded out of anger. How can these monkeys mess with my night? "Yanagi, please take it off," Yui's voice was calm and I turned to her with brows creased. She was not begging, it came out as a request. "This won't work…" she told her in a lonely low voice.

Yanagi placed her hands on the blonde's shoulder and looked back reassuringly. "It will, Yui-chan. Trust me." She smiled wide and embraced her. I frowned.

"What drama is this?" I asked skeptically. Yanagi looked at me intently.

"Don't EVER do anything stupid!" She pointed a finger at my face and I slightly backed away. And then she smiled warmly. Damn, she looked like my sister. "And no matter what you do, don't break it. We'll wait for you at the hidden temple."

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A/N:**__ That's it for now! The third part of the festival plot will be up in a few more days! Thanks for reading and please do leave reviews!_


	4. Chapter 4

_I like the previous chapter though it took me a long time before I was able to finish that chapter. But I'm glad that it's over and done. Haha. :) Don't forget to leave reviews!_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Yeah, Yui and Tokiya are both very stubborn, which makes them very cute. I wanted the same stubbornness between Yui and Nuriko in The Pretend Boyfriend but failed. I'm glad you liked this fan fiction. :)_

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Yeah, thanks for constantly reading and reviewing! :)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Four**

By Slavedriver2008

* * *

THE RIBBON WOULD NOT BREAK. I've tried pulling it countless times but it stayed perfectly knotted on our fingers, binding us in an annoying closeness. Our fingers would constantly brush together and I'm not very pleased with the contact. It made me feel warm but I don't want to feel warm, not with _him_. I pulled the ribbon again, slowly stepping back. Instead of breaking, I ended up yanking his arm and he turned with murderous angry eyes.

"What?" he asked, voice rising. I shook my head and his jaw clenched. He was annoyed again, his patience was probably way shorter than mine. "That was the 12th time you yanked my hand for no reason. Stop bugging me."

"I was just... well, hoping it'll break," I explained and he raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any idea what this ribbon means?" I asked. "If this ribbon doesn't break, we're destined to be together!" I said, exasperated.

"I don't believe in destiny," he responded and I was taken aback for some reason. He raised his long pinky, pulling mine as well, and stared back intently. "This wouldn't matter so stop being a brat and let's find the temple." He turned around and walked, pulling me roughly. I almost fell on the ground. My little finger throbbed and I could only follow him without resistance.

I don't believe in destiny too. That had always been my line whenever Miaka talk about how destiny arranged her with Taka, who coincidentally looked and acted a hell lot like Tamahome. I stared at his broad back, making out the way his muscles hugged the white polo shirt with ease. Yes, he was right. It was simply a ribbon and it merely represented an age-old and outdated belief. We were not destined to be together because destiny, fate, serendipity doesn't exist.

I repeated the thought in my head but it did not relieve me. My heart knew things I could not comprehend and I want to stop thinking about it. We can never fall in love with each other. We don't fit together. We were simply... too different. My left foot nudged a stone and I stumbled forward, hitting his arm, which I ended up clinging. He stopped walking and when I looked up, found him donning an arrogant smirk.

"I don't like girls who do clumsy things to get my attention," he noted and I flushed.

"I wasn't planning to get your attention!" I pushed his arm away and he ended up pulling me closer. This time, I ended up in his open arms, making him smirk more. Damn, I really hate that ribbon. He raised an eyebrow knowingly, the act seemed to have proved his hypothesis.

"Enjoying my arms?" he teased and I smiled sweetly, trying to hide the brewing annoyance in my face. He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes. _Very_ much," I answered softly and before he could say more, I lifted my yukata and stepped on his foot with a vengeance.

"Ah—You!" he yelped as I moved away, quickly. He made pained noises and I saw his handsome face contort. He eyed me murderously and I made a sound as I ran away from him.

Tokiya pulled his left hand, clutching my arm but I struggled to move away. But it was useless, we were tied together and the damn ribbon wouldn't even break. Strong hands clutched the obi belt and pulled me back roughly like a doll.

"Let go of me-Ahhh!" I screamed as my feet stepped on uneven land and I completely lost balance.

His weight fell on me and the next thing I know, we were rolling down the hill, hitting barks of shrubs and leaving a trail of flat leaves. Branches cut through my yukata and I felt the sharp edges brush through my skin. I couldn't see the world around us as we fell, his free hand was cupping my head, pulling me into his chest. I was hugging to his body, screaming as we continued to slide. When we finally stopped, I was straddling him and he groaned from the pain. Our hands were holding tight, the ribbon remained unbroken.

"Tokiya—"

"Are you hurt?" he asked in a loud voice, eyebrows creased. He leaned up lightly and I shook my head profusely, breathing heavily. A sigh of relief left him and I cupped his face, my hand still trembling.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice broke. Even my lips trembled and I was suddenly very scared. He sat up, our eyes looking at each other intently. I've never been relieved to see his cloudy eyes.

"I'm fine," he said softly. I thumbed the small wound on his cheek and smiled, relieved. Instead of smiling back, he smirked. "You're worse than clumsy. Are you enjoying my lap?" he asked and I flustered. I turned down and I immediately stood up, pulling his hand, which was still intertwined with mine. He stood up lazily and patted the dust and leaves off his clothes.

Guilt immediately hit me and I looked down. It was my fault we rolled down the hill and the small traces of blood on his arms were proof of my stupidity. I have never been humiliated in my whole life and I regretted acting childishly. I don't usually act that way but I can't explain why I just did. His hand was still holding mine tightly, the ribbon still very much tied on our pinkies.

"I'm sorry I was—" He cut me by offering a white handkerchief. I stared at it and was about to ask when he spoke.

"Wipe your face, you look horrible. Do you need a mirror?" he said and anger filled me again, from every hair in my head to the tips of my toes. I wanted to stomp on his foot again but instead of getting violent, I turned and walked away, pulling him, my nails digging to his knuckles.

"Let's just find that damn temple!" I said and he only followed.

I don't give a damn if his feet and body were aching. I just wanted to reach that temple and get this ribbon off our fingers. I just wanted to go home and take a hot bath. I just needed to forget about him and his annoying remarks, to be alone with my tablets and capsules and my aimless existence. I needed to get away from him, to pacify the wild beatings of my heart and the trembling of my knees and the warm warm tingle from our intertwined fingers. Because right now, he was driving me insane. And unstable.

Tokiya pulled his hand back and I halted. He turned me around and I looked away from him. He cupped my neck and before I could protest, he wiped my cheek with the handkerchief. My face throbbed and I closed my eyes as the pain shot through the broken skin. It only occurred to me that I was wounded and bleeding. I thought...

"It's not big, wouldn't leave a mark," he noted, licking his lips. I blushed. When he was done, I had grown a fondness for his sneakers, now dirty with the mark of my slipper. He handed me the handkerchief. "Hold it over the wound," he instructed and I nodded. This time, he was the one who pulled me ahead.

We walked slowly among the undefined trail, looking for the patch of land we followed earlier. The moon was not in the sky and tiny stars dot the dark skies above. Everywhere I looked, shadows were cast upon us and I could not see very clearly. Yet he treaded as if knowing where to go. I let him lead me toward the temple. For the first time tonight, I was relieved to be holding his hand.

Tokiya stumbled forward and I pulled his arm. He cursed when he noticed the broken shoelace of the shoe I stomped on earlier. "Shit," he cursed again, scanning the darkness for a place to sit down. He immediately found a large boulder and we moved toward it. The boulder was big enough for four or five people, like a bench. I was happy he found it. He sat down and I immediately sat beside him, watching him lift one of his long legs and placed an ankle on his knee.

"Can you fix it?" I asked and he shook his head.

"It's broken on two places, it's impossible to fix." I nodded as if I understood but all I realized was that he won't be able to walk properly with a broken shoelace. Guilt crept through me again and I sighed, pulling the blue ribbon on my hair.

"Use this," I offered and he stared at me. The tied hair fell down on my shoulders and I tucked one side behind my ear. He looked straight, no smirk or creased eyebrows. "It's made of strong materials, it can be a temporary shoelace."

He shrugged his shoulders and took it from my hand. Our fingers touched and I felt warm. He slowly let go of my hand and I watched him as he took off a shoe and replaced the white ties with my blue ribbon. He didn't say a word and I was glad he didn't come out with any annoying comments. The last I wanted was to be angry with him again. He placed the shoe back on his foot, which were big by the way, tied the ribbon, and placed the feet down on the ground, moving it slightly.

Tokiya turned to me and our eyes met again. "You smell of lavender."

"Oh, my friend gave me a perfume last year," I blurted out, not knowing what to say. "It smells nice at night." He nodded and my eyes widened. I raised an eyebrow. "Are you... smelling me?" I couldn't help but ask, smiling. He opened his mouth to speak but ended up bitting his lip. When he looked back again, he was wearing a smug reaction.

"How can I not? You're sitting too close," he teased and I gasped, looking down at the boulder where we sat. I flushed when I realized he was right; I was squirming beside him even with all the space.

* * *

WE'RE BACK WHERE WE STARTED. She was trying to hold her patience but failed. It was my fault, I always wanted to see her angry face, memorize the way her brows would crease and the way every muscle in her face would contort. I was finding the pursed lips and sharp stares fascinating. Even the way redness spread over her face made me high for some undefined reason. I liked making her angry like it was some goal that gives me fulfillment; and I could not stop myself from teasing her until her patience snapped. Like now.

She was furious.

"You are the most annoying man I have ever met," she blurted out, quickly standing. I stood up as well and we faced each other. Her lips were trembling and she blinked countless times, as if fending off tears. Now, I didn't know she's a crybaby. In a snap, my goal has suddenly taken a curve. I no longer _just_ wanted to see her angry, I wanted to see her cry. Of course I saw her cry once but I had forgotten about it. I wanted to remember.

"And you are the most accident-prone woman I have ever dated," I answered, smirking. She gasped lightly and bit her lower lip, making it red and close to bleeding.

"Oh we're on a date? I thought we are in a Lord of the Flies re-run," she said with a tinge of sarcasm. She was not trying to piss me off, just trying to regain composure. But she was losing the more she release that anger. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she looked like she knew a secret that would kill me. "Aha! I knew it, you like me and you want to date me."

I reacted negatively. I never thought she'd entertain such pathetic thoughts. "What kind of delusion is that?"

"There are no kinds of delusion, bonehead," she quipped and my jaw clenched. Nobody called me a bonehead before, I was the smartest in my class, consistently since I started studying.

"And there are no Lord of the Flies re-runs, dumb blonde," I answered back and she gasped, looking back with disbelief. I stroke a nerve and I was not about to take back what I said.

"_YOU_!" She hit my chest out of anger, an automatic reflex. I looked at the spot where her hand landed and I looked at her chest. She covered it and before she could say more, I pushed her shoulder. "Why did you do that?" she squealed, teeth gritting. Her nails dug on my knuckles and I realized we had not let go of each other's hand.

"Ah, because you hit me. Karma," I answered coolly. She was still unaware and might have forgotten the ribbon. This must be her first time to get _tied_. No wonder she was all conscious and troubled. But she doesn't look inexperienced. I'd be damned if she's still a virgin.

"Oh you're getting Buddhist now. Too bad I'm not religious but I'll show you Physics. _This_ is Inertia," she pushed me hard and I stumbled back, falling face-up on the ground. I saw the victory in her eyes, which immediately became horror as she fell on top of me. The red ribbon still tightly tied between our fingers.

"Let me guess, this is Inverse Attraction...?" I said smoothly, watching her face become a full-blown tomato. She was angry but she still remained... witty? Was it the proper word?

"I'm not attracted to you. I'd rather date a rugby ball, I bet it has more content that your skull," she said aloud and it was my turn to be surprised. Have I mentioned that I am a genius? That I have an Intellectual Quotient of 180, which makes me smarter than Einstein?

"I could not agree more—Jock, cheerleader—That's a perfect dumb match. Just wag your pompoms and spread those legs, your types are only good as trophy girlfriends," I said without meaning to and her thin rosy lips pursed, trembling. Her free hand clutched my shirt and strands of her hair tickled my face. The smell of lavender fluttered under my nostrils and I knew she was leaning close.

I was suddenly aware of her legs on both sides of my waist, her yukata pulled up to show smooth flawless knees and long perfectly-shaped legs. The yukata had loosened and a blue bra strap had been completely exposed, showing off shoulder blades. Her hair was in disarray, the ones I normally see on bed sheets the day after a night of senseless sex. She sniffed and open her mouth to speak, close to my face. Her breath was warm and still smelled of mint.

Sounds came from the brushes and we both turned. Her hand loosened its hold of the collar of my shirt as she moved closer to me, still lying on the dirty ground. Fuuko stepped out of the shrub, followed by Domon and she was suddenly relieved. They were supposed to be tied together like us but they were walking separately. I wonder how the managed to untie the ribbon. Was it against the rules?

"Baka, we made a wrong turn!" Fuuko said, placing her hands on her well-shaped hips. Domon scratched her head and was about to speak when he saw us. His eyes widened and I wished we were not fighting before they showed up. Fuuko turned and she smiled wide.

"Eh? I'm sorry! Domon and I, er, we didn't mean to intrude!" She bowed but I knew she was not serious on apologizing. What an annoying woman. "We'll be going now. Bye!" She pulled Domon along, back to the way they came, and we were left alone. I don't even want to know how they interpreted our position or if they will even bother to know that Yui and I were fighting before they came into the scene.

Yui seemed to have cooled down a bit with the interruption, her face was no longer as red as before. She slowly stood up and I followed her. I didn't bother to dust myself. We were only together for less than an hour but it seemed like we've been through a lot.

"This is impossible," she finally said, shaking her head. "You and me—we are _never_ gonna get along."

"Ah, you finally spoke sense," I answered and I can tell it was not the answer she wanted to hear. She sighed, heavily, before looking.

"It's obvious that I don't like you," she pointed out.

"Surprisingly yes."

"And you don't like me," she added.

"Very much."

She raised an eyebrow and was somewhat surprised. She shook her head again. "I just did this because of Yanagi..."

"Same here."

"We are going to be civil until we reach the hidden temple and until we get this darn thing off," she said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"If we can find the temple," I answered to start another round of bantering. But she was not up for it anymore. She admitted defeat too easily. What a bore.

"We are going to forget that this evening ever happened. I will completely forget about you and tonight," she stated, completely disregarding what I just said. She turned toward the way we were going before my shoelace snapped and started to walk. I followed her.

"Touché," I responded as we paced together. She nodded. Our hands were still tightly intertwined, and she didn't seem to notice. As we continued to walk, I have likewise forgotten about it.

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A/N:**__ This is a very war-filled chapter. Haha. They're so cute when they fight. ;) Please don't forget to leave reviews!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Yep, chapter five coming right up! :D I just re-watched Spirited Away and realized, again and again, how cute Haku (Kohaku) is. Hahahaha! I did some investigation on Tokiya Mikagami and found the usual stuff. I realized Tokiya's eyes are green-like Shuuichi Minamino. Well, I made his eyes bluish gray here and I might be consistent with that. Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave reviews!_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Yeah, they're so cute. This is my favorite chapter in this budding relationship. Enjoy reading! :)_

_**LeeRaRa: **__Dear LeeRaRa, I hope Yui sees me as the same way, though. Thanks ~Tokiya__  
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_**Disclaimer:**__ Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine. I absolutely do not get anything from writing this fanfiction. But I do hope they end up together in some real anime life. :)_

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**Chapter Five**

By Slavedriver2008

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HE WAS STILL HOLDING MY HAND. I failed to notice it earlier but the more we walk aimlessly without talking, the more I become aware of his presence beside me. I began to notice the little things; the way he slowed down to pace with me, the way his thunder cloud-like eyes were focused ahead, the way his shoulders move slowly and the way the other hand supported his camera bag. I have almost forgotten about the bag, was his camera even whole to begin with after everything that happened to us?

Tokiya's hand was way bigger, mine probably only fit his palm, while long slender fingers brushed through the back of my hand with ease. I expected his hand to be rough, well, it wasn't smooth and soft like a girl's, but it was pleasant to hold. There were callouses on his palm, which somehow added to its strength, and I briefly remembered how he slapped my hand once. He must have remembered that incident too, because he slowly thumbed the spot. I flushed and looked away.

That's it, we were both aware of each other. Should I let go now? But I don't want to let go. I don't know why, I just _don't_. And it was not because of any pathetic emotional attachment—his hand was comforting, in a crazy sense. I also feel ashamed to point it out because I don't want to fight him anymore. I was tired of hurtful verbal exchanges, of being called a dumb blonde and some trophy girlfriend. I hate being stereotyped as the cheerleader just because I'm blonde. I'm not stupid.

I sighed. I also grew tired of getting violent. Because no matter how much I push him away, I ended up in his arms, lap, whatever part of his body was ready to catch me. Heat spread over my face. We have gotten more physical than any pair on a first date. Damn, if he weren't such a jerk we would have been on our way to a second date. But who am I fooling? We _don't_—emphasis here, please—make a good couple.

And I hated the damn red ribbon.

When I looked up, a hanging branch met my gaze and I quickly moved away, my cheek brushing with his arm as I placed my other hand to cover my face. We stopped walking and I blushed more when I saw his pools of grey, looking down at my surprised face. He had held his free hand to move the branch away, before it hit me. Cherry blossom petals rained slowly as he pulled me forward. When he let go of the branch, I moved away, rolling the tips of my hair around my point finger. I moved some of my hair between my lips to hide the awkwardness and the tension that coursed through my veins when our eyes met.

In a few more minutes of complete silence, we finally reached the hidden temple, a medium-sized old-fashioned edifice. No one was around when we came but seeing it made me smile. At last, the torture was over. I heaved a sigh of relief and when I turned to him, found him pulling out a cigarette stick from his pocket and then lighting in his mouth. My eyes widened as he puffed with expertise.

"You... _smoke_..." I stated with disbelief. Why would Yanagi pair me with someone who smokes? I hate smokers to death.

"You have a problem?" he asked, placing the cigarette between partly-opened lips. I blinked, watching him release another whiff of nicotine-filled fumes.

"Smoking causes Cancer," I said matter-of-factly. "It makes teeth yellow and it causes darkening lips," I pointed out and he shrugged his shoulders, smirking.

"So?"

"_So_?" I looked at him with disbelief. "I don't like kis—" my eyes widened and I covered my mouth. He raised an eyebrow, licking his lips. I was about to say that I don't like kissing guys who smoke but why would I say that? It's not like I wanted to kiss him. Yuck.

"It releases tension," he said.

"That's a flawed reason. There is no scientific study to prove that nicotine soothes the nerves—" A thumb landed on my mouth and he leaned close. I could smell his breath reeking with the smell of burned tobacco. He had easily thrown it away, still halfway done.

"Relax..." Tokiya said softly, smirking. "You're beautiful when you're not speaking," he whispered and I felt my cheeks brighten. He slowly thumbed the sides of my lips and leaned down, very close. I closed my eyes, expecting a kiss but I got a curse instead. "Shit."

He let go and walked, pulling me toward the temple. When I opened my eyes I saw him rub the back of his neck while I brushed my hair over my hair in fast strokes. Did I just wait for him to kiss me? It was insane. It was unthinkable. It was... Eeewww. I hated men who smoke. I hated smelling them, would I even want to taste them? He pulled me toward the threshold of the temple and he sat down, looking around and waiting for the next pair to come out of the bushes.

I sat a few seats from him and he raised an eyebrow, our hands dangling lightly. He pulled me closer and I made a face. There was no way I'm sitting beside him. Aside from the fact that he reeked, he tried to kiss me earlier, which means that he was capable of taking advantage of me. He pulled me again but I frowned at him. He sighed and sat beside me. The act made me flush.

Tokiya crossed legs and placed his hands on his knees, including mine. I pulled my hand back and he clutched it, pulling it back into place. He cupped my hand between his and I was about to protest when he started to rub the still red spot, exactly where he hit a few days ago. I pulled my hand but he held tightly to it. He eyed me, slightly annoyed, and I frowned.

"Stop, it hurts."

"If you used the ointment I gave you—"

"I don't want to use anything from you," I cut him. Another heavy sigh left him and he slowly pulled out a round object from his pocket. He opened the ointment and I gasped when he lavishly wiped it over the spot, slowly massaging the throbbing skin. "Oh, its... hmmm... warm..." His thumb was amazing, it moved in moderate strokes that released the tension and the pain in my hand. I let out a satisfied sound, watching him move his fingers wiht expertise. I giggled when his fingers imitated spider's feet, making me ticklish.

He smiled back. He was handsome when he's not speaking.

"Oohh... Uhhh..." A not-so-faint sound reverberated through the air and we both turned toward the closed doors of the temple. Heavy breathing reached our ears mixed with creaking floorboards. I flushed.

"What is—"

"Sshhh..." he hushed me and he shook his head, laughing lightly. He pulled me toward the back side of the temple and I clung to him as the sounds become louder. I was having an image in my head and I tried to shake it away. When we were about to turn on one of the posts, he stepped back and leaned on the wall, fighting off laughter.

"What is—" My eyes widened and I gasped. He placed a hand on my mouth and hid me on the wall, both of us hiding in the side of the temple to avoid being seen. The smell of cigarettes fleeted in the air and his gray eyes hushed me. He slowly moved his hand away from my mouth and smirked. He immediately pulled out his camera and adjusted it. "What are you doing?"

"Taking photos of them. I have a feeling it's Yanagi and Recca," he quipped and I flustered. Yanagi would never do such a thing.

"You're crazy—" He leaned close to me and I stuck to the wall, slightly hitting the back of my head. He warned me not make noises and I sighed, rolling my eyes. Not only does he smoke, he's a pervert too. The sounds came out louder and I heard the clicking of his camera as he took photos of the vulgar scene at the back temple. I don't even want to see what it was.

When he was done, he smirked at me. "I'll show it to you when it's done," he said and I made a face.

"Like I want to see it." I closed my eyes and tried to think of a way to leave where we were standing. The others were still not around and the voices were too vague to be identified. Would Yanagi have sex at the back temple? "Gods its horrible. Why are they having sex in a temple?"

"What? You haven't done it?" he asked, brows creased, as if it was the most normal thing in the world and there was no way I haven't been fucked in one during a summer festival. I blinked back skeptically.

"Duh." My face was red and it didn't cool down when he placed an arm on the wall at the side of my head and leaned very very close. The tips of our noses brushed and I swallowed hard. He stared at me intently and my heart was beating wildly on my throat.

"Do you want to do it? With me? Now?"

* * *

THE COLOR DRAINED FROM HER FACE. I briefly regretted teasing her but I could not help it. It was out of my mouth the moment it crossed my mind. She pursed her lips and swallowed hard. For awhile I expected her to throw a fit, to scream back at how perverted my offer was. But nothing came from her but the surprised look on her eyes, which were glistening like emeralds at night. I leaned closer. I wasn't about to stop either. I just _can't_.

"Tokiya—"

"Ahhh!" Her eyes widened and she turned toward the direction where two unnamed couple was having the time of their lives. "Gods, don't stop... Ohh..." The color immediately returned to her face but her hand remained cold. She was nervous and uncomfortable. The woman screamed again and she gasped. No, it was not Yanagi and Recca.

"Don't make a noise or they'll hear us..." I whispered and she froze. She shut her eyes and looked away. She looked so cute. The voices came out louder and I moved closer. I don't want to have sex with her but I'm not going to stop teasing her now. Sooner or later, she'll get to her senses and hit me. I'll be damned if she says Yes in the first place. "They're close... Should we take their spot?"

Yui's hand was trembling and I didn't know she was a wussy when it comes to sex. For one, she looks too mature and outgoing to be a virgin. Two, she dated a yuppie, who was probably more knowledgeable than I am in doing the deed. What was his name? Was it Tetsuya? Takuro? Would it matter? I was having the time of my life beleaguering her and the last I knew, they're no longer together. She can engage in random sex. Now that I think about it, she was not a bad choice of a one-night stand. If only she'll remain quiet, as what she was currently doing. No, what was wrong with me? Yui was not a good fling. She's too noisy, she'll never shut up, not even in bed.

But the smell of lavender was intoxicating me. She was right, it smells nice at night. I moved my nose along the curve of her neck, searching for the spot where she sprayed the perfume. She made a sound and I knew I was torturing her to death. Look, I'm not a pervert or anything. If she wanted me to stop, I'll stop. But the problem I realized, was that she was too shocked to respond. Hell, I wouldn't take advantage of her... I'm just playing around. It wouldn't come to the point where I'm overthrown by desire, which I doubt I'll be in anyway. Not with her. Her boobs were not even big enough to show in the yukata, though I admit her legs were pretty nice, beautiful to part and explore and tease. I swallowed hard as I drank her smell.

Her hair emitted the scent of roses and the coolness of the night made her smell god damn wonderful. She smelled good, probably nicer than most women I slept with. The combination was heavenly and if only she was not the annoying normal girl that she was, I would have had thrown my inhibitions and get the act done. I breathed hard on her ear, against my will, and she squirmed. Analyzing why I was doing what I was doing was driving me crazy. I moved my tongue along the curve of her ear, the spot I wanted to bite earlier. She fidgeted and the small sounds she made roused a tightness in my pants.

"Ohh—Ohh—Ahhh!" The woman's screams filled my head and I let out a heavy breath.

"Yui," I called her name, a little desperate. It rolled off my tongue as her smell filled me. If she wanted me to stop, she has to say it now. Otherwise I'll be damned. I moved my teeth over the curve of her ear, grazing it in slow sensual strides. She whimpered and I knew I could not stop anymore. Not when she seemed willing to go all the way, not when she squirmed and made those little noises, not when I finally had her taste in my mouth.

The only place for me was inside her.

Damn.

A thunder erupted from the sky and she screamed, everything was blanketed in light. The sound made my ears perk up and I momentarily forgot what I was doing. When the light dispelled, she was clinging to me, trembling wildly, a hand covered her ear. My arms were wrapped around her and I slowly pulled her away from the couple. She followed me, still trembling, face still close to my chest.

"What was that? Did somebody just scream?" The girl asked her boyfriend and I bit my lip. I pulled her closer.

"It's coming—" she stuttered, voice broken and shivering. She placed a hand on my back, tightly holding. I held her back the most I can, surprised at the sudden twist of events.

"Sshhh..." I cupped her face and the Yui I know, the one who was stubborn and hard-headed was replaced by a scared girl. I pushed her to the wall, pacifying the unbearable trembling in her body. Tears fell from her eyes. I got my wish, she was crying in front of me. But something was different, I was not elated to see her miserable face.

"No, it's nothing don't mind it," the boy answered. "It's just thunder, love." We heard scuffling noises and the next thing I heard, they seemed to have been batting for another round. I shook my head as I cupped her face, thumbing the tears.

"It's going to hit me—"

"Don't be afraid... I'm holding you," I whispered and she nodded but the trembling did not cease. "Ssshhhh..." She was breathing heavily, sobs mixed with tears and a heaviness I could not define but felt in her. She was another person in my arms. Her knees gave way and I pulled her up, placing her weight on me. I don't want to let go, not when I knew she couldn't stand.

"It's coming—It's coming—" Light filled the sky again and before thunder erupted, I captured her lips with my mouth, swallowing the scream she let out. Thunder cracked from the sky repeatedly, without mercy. Rain fell heavily on the roof of the temple, creating sounds of crazy footworks. Some hit my back, drenching me but I didn't move away.

I was filled with her scent, lavender and roses that seemed to have intensified with the cold air. I pulled her closer and traced perfectly-lined teeth, which slowly opened and let me in, like a flower blooming under the first rays of the sun. And when it did, I moved my tongue inside her mouth that tasted of sugar and mint as every reason, logic melted in a serious of soft sounds as our tongues lapped together. She was soft and gentle.

She breathed out and I captured the life in them as if it could bring me back the life I had lost. With every movement of her lips, I lost the reason to stop, to discontinue an unreasonable existence. There was nothing in my head but her soft sweet mouth and the scent of enchatment she had covered me with a kiss. I pulled her up, closer, I want her closer. Cold fingers landed on my jaw and I was completely thrown out of sanity like Apollo, obsessively running after a woman who would never love him back.

Yui will never want me.

The fact hit me and I opened my eyes, slowly moving away from the wonders of her mouth. Clear green eyes gently opened and our eyes met, her lips still parted and waiting, swollen and wet and red. My body wanted her desperately, the hard planes will not be easily erased by the cool wind that slowly moved through us. The sky had stoppped its rage and was in peace but the storm have created itself inside me, sending my heart in fists of wild incessant beats. I moved a finger over her lower lip, moving it inside to feel still parted teeth.

She looked straight into mine, emerald eyes that dilated under the lack of light. The scared girl had disappeared and I saw myself, desiring, wanting her.

"Yui... Do it with me..." I asked, my mind blurred as we float in a light light unexplainable feeling. It was a whisper, a plead I never thought I'd make. I never begged for a woman's body. But right now, I wanted to ask for it. Because it was Yui and not _just_ any normal girl.

"Yes..." she answered and I knew I was damned like the god of the sun.

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A/N:**__ Ooooohhh... Love is changing everytime... Hahaha! I hope you can imagine the ending song of Recca no Honou as background music in that last scene. Heehee. Please don't forget to drop your reviews! :D _


	6. Chapter 6

_No, it was not my intention to publish a cliffy... I'm just good at delaying sex. Hahahaha! I've re-read __**Never Let Me Go**__ yesterday and I realized that Yui and Kurama had sex immediately after confirming they love each other. I realized it happened quite fast, which I might try to avoid in this fiction. After all, better things come to those who wait. :) Thanks for reading and please do leave reviews! :D_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ I think Yui has this mysterious allure when she's not speaking, much like her inner self shines through when there are not much words involved. Like how Suboshi fell for her in FY. :D _

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Haha. I'm really very careful when I write Tokiya's perspective because I might get the character wrong. I think he's very observant, especially on something that annoys him. I think he always weighs a person's character through the smallest things. :) I even have to write their scenes on separate days._

_**Disclaimer: **__Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Six**

By Slavedriver2008

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OUR FIRST KISS TASTED OF TOBACCO. I cupped my face and tried to stop the unbearable warmth that filled my face whenever that night cropped up in my thoughts. We shouldn't have agreed to Yanagi in the first place. If we didn't, the fights would never happen and the kiss and the invitation. Yes, he asked me to _do it_ with him and I agreed. It was such an easy decision that night, even after all the pushing and shoving and vicious words before it culminated in the kiss.

It's been a week but he's still in my thoughts. We never did anything but kiss and it, I dunno, sealed everything. I stood up from bed and pulled the drawer near my bed, where I hide the stacks of medicine for my sudden needs. Am I experiencing depression? I haven't been drinking the pills for the last seven days and it was the longest time I went on without medication. I closed it again. No, I was not depressed, the symptoms were different. I was not downtrodden or miserable. I was... happy.

Did someone need medication for being happy?

The phone rang and I immediately answered it, my heart palpitating. I was expecting a familiar certain voice but was disappointed. "Yui! It's me Yanagi!" I acknowledged her and threw myself back to the bed. "I never got to ask... What happened between you and Tokiya?"

I laughed. I didn't know why but I laughed. Damn, I should be lashing out how angry I was for all the hurtful words and the way he fought with me. I cleared my throat and stared at the ceiling. "Like what?"

"You had fun with him, didn't you?" she asked and I shook my head.

"No—Are you crazy? He's awful—He called me a dumb blonde!" I blurted out, my mind still wandering to that wonderful wonderful kiss. I shook my head, I should not think about it or I might say it out carelessly.

"HE DID?" Yanagi said with disbelief. I embraced my dinosaur plushie and stared at the window, where drops of rain crawled slowly. It was raining again and the rain reminded me of him and his eyes. I smiled and touched my lips, my cheeks still burning.

"Yeah he's such a jerk, I—"

"Are you crazy, he just called you pretty!" Yanagi cut me and I sat up from the bed, confused.

"Huh?"

"Silly. Dumb blondes are stereotypically beautiful. You should take it as a compliment," she pointed out and I rolled my eyes. There was no way he'd conceal a compliment with a harsh phrase. _You are beautiful when you're not speaking... _I flushed again and lied down on the bed, crouched and hugging my plushie.

"Well, Yanagi, dumb blondes are stereotypically DUMB."

"No, no. If you know Tokiya, he means exactly the opposite of what he says," she clarified and I bit my lip.

"Really...? I mean-I'm not buying this. Are you trying to set up another date? He smokes you know," I pointed out, sighing. It had been a long time since I talked about a boy over the phone and I don't know if I should be happy or not. For one, it was Mikagami Tokiya. I had contemplated killing him that night out of sheer annoyance.

"Well he does smoke. But you know, Yui, you seldom find college boys who smoke as occasionally as Mi-chan. Whoa, he never smoked in front of anyone in the gang, you probably made him all tensed and everything." Yanagi laughed. How can she translate every small annoying thing about him as something worth teasing me with?

"That's not funny."

"Yui, loosen up. Mi-chan is the perfect catch. He's sometimes hard to talk to as a friend, but he might be quite easy to understand as a girlfriend," she said matter-of-factly. "He has a sweet side and he's quite protective."

"And you're saying this from experience...?" I inquired. Why had it not occured to me that Tokiya and Yanagi had a past? I sat up from the bed and clutched the linen. Was it the reason why he agreed to date her? Because he couldn't disagree with Yanagi? I crawled back to bed. I was in no way interested about him and his relationships. He can date Yanagi for all I care.

"Silly, we never dated," she said and I was momentarily relieved for some reason. "But he did hint liking me once-But that's not the point."

"That's quite a long introduction you know. I'm getting sleepy," I said, feigning yawning and stretching out on the bed to stare at the blue ceiling. His hair was in a deep blue hue, like a cascading waterfalls, cool and soft. And his eyes were as intense as a thunder-filled sky. For the first time, I was not scared of thunder. I touched my forehead, it was burning like the rest of my face. I smiled, I liked this feeling.

"Haha. Funny, Yui. If I don't know you, you're probably all red and elated now."

"YANAGI!" I sat up, flustered.

"Ha, I knew it. Anyway, before you melt on your bed daydreaming about him, the gang's going to the beach tomorrow. How about coming along? Tokiya will be alone... and you'll have more time to get to know each other," she explained as if everything was too easy. I can't just join them and _get to know him better_. Not after what happened. But then, what was supposed to happen after the kiss?

Shoot, I've been miserable for the last years that I have forgotten how a relationship should start or work. Well, it's not my fault I didn't learn much from Tetsuya in the last 2 years. I mean, he was running after me all the time. I was just... flowing along with everything.

"Yanagi... I don't want to date him," I pointed out. "It's just... It won't work so why even try?"

"You were holding each other's hand during the temple festival," she pointed out and I let myself fall back on the bed. Yeah, his hand was strong but I can't remember what I felt when I hold him. Maybe I should... hold him again? "Yui?"

"Because we... explode," I answered to cover my spacing out. "We always come up with the worst unpleasant attacks against each other and you know I hate fighting. And besides, I already have a weekend commitment. Keisuke's treating us to the beach because he got his first paycheck," I said, slightly disappointed.

"Keisuke?"

"Miaka's brother," I answered nonchalantly.

"Potential boyfriend?" Yanagi teased and I laughed.

"No, are you crazy? He's my ex-boyfriend's bestfriend so it wouldn't work." I sighed. All the men around me "won't work" and I wondered if it was because there were really no potential or because I'm stopping myself from entertaining any possibilities. If I throw these hesitation away, would fate give me a boyfriend?

"Aww... That's sad. But anyway, if you change your mind we have a free slot for you in Domon's van, beside Tokiya of course." We said our goodbyes and I was somehow relieved that the conversation ended before it veered into another topic about him. In my state, would Tokiya want me?

I shook my head. An ideal man would never want someone like me. I'm broken beyond repair, and my medicine dependency proved that fact. Sometimes I wished the book never happened or I should have been more optimistic after it did. Because sometimes I'm just so tired of being this emotional, of being this weak. I was tired of taking the medicine, of feeling temporary happiness, of being scared of the smallest things.

The perfect woman for Tokiya was the _me_ before the book, not the person I was now. I will never be good enough for him or for anyone because I will never be the same Yui. Tears fell from my eyes and depression slowly filled me, a heaviness I had not felt in a week. I hastily pulled the drawer and took out the medicine. My hands were trembling, my face wet with tears. I wiped my cheek clumsily but it was useless, I was crying beyond my control. I opened the bottle and quickly drank the medicine, closing my eyes as I swallowed the bitter pill.

I licked my lips and waited for a temporary fulfillment, a phony happiness that my body could not produce on its own. I closed my eyes, I don't want to see the ceiling, the rain-drenched window, the cloudy skies outside. I don't want to think of him and that night.

I don't want to think of something I cannot have.

* * *

IT STOPPED RAINING. The hydrangeas were in the best state for a photograph but I found the scene useless. I hate repeating subjects and I was not in the mood to think about apertures and shutter speeds. I turned lightly to my right as the mist cleared and I saw a familiar scene, a throng of late afternoon caffeine freaks, drenched by the rain, seeking a warm refuge by gorging on coffee as their umbrellas dried. Two girls man the coffee shop and one of them has blue eyes that shone like sapphires from where I sat.

"You can really see her clearly from here, ne?" a familiar annoying voice cut my thoughts and I turned to find Recca, sitting behind me, rubbing the tips of his bandaged nose.

"Who?" I asked, looking away, annoyed. I want to kill him right now. Recca sniggered knowingly. Domon was not around and if I start a fight with this punk, no one will stop us. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Why was I stopping myself from killing him?

"Yanagi said Yui-san can't come with us tomorrow but you still have to come," he said and I didn't mind him. My head was slightly aching and I want the pain off my body before night comes. Recca waited for my answer but I gave none. "She used to work with Hime-chan in the day care center in Junior High. She showed me a picture of them together when they were 15, they're so cute."

I eyed Recca sharply, a little envious. "The hell do I care," I responded, pretending to be annoyed. But the truth was, I wanted him to say more. Damn, it was all because of that proposal.

"Oh-Ho-Ho-Ho" Recca pulled out a picture from his uniform and wagged it over my face. I was about to take it when he moved it away quickly. "No, you can't until you—" I pulled his ear and in a second, grabbed the photo. "Hey, that's cheating! Return that to me—Yanagi gave that to me!" he screamed but I was not listening.

I sank back on the bench and looked at the photo, Recca leaning at the backseat and eyeing the picture. I was immediately surprised when I saw her. She was standing straight, Yanagi clung to her arm, smiling very wide. Very short boyish hair, a wide smile that showed high cheekbones, and eyes that were filled with happiness. I looked at the picture intently. She was very easy to read here, very transparent, bearing the innocence of youth. Her eyes bore no mysterious blankness in them.

I smiled. She was so cute. Recca sniggered beside me and when I turned found him holding up a phone and taking a photo of me. "RECCA—" I tried to grab his phone but he had moved away quickly. I really hated that monkey.

"Whoa, you're smiling here—Fuuko and Domon will love this picture!" He laughed and I stood up, eyeing him murderously. Before I could step closer, he ran away, clutching his baseball cap, his long brown tail wagging behind him. Why am I in the company of monkeys? I sighed and stared at the picture on my hand. At least the stupid monkey forgot about this picture. Yanagi was cute here too, looked so much like my sister when she was 15.

I tucked the photo in the pocket of my long-sleeved white shirt and treaded the way toward the restaurant, where she stood behind a counter, preparing orders in a small tray. I didn't know what pushed me to cross the space when I had contented myself with the view from the park for one long and tedious week. She was finished delivering an order when I stepped in and her face paled.

Yui turned and walked away immediately, refusing to meet my gaze. She slowly placed the tray on the counter and went straight for the bathroom. I followed her, my heart beating wildly as each step brought me closer to her. Before she could close the door, I stopped her hand and stepped inside. She gasped and I closed it behind me, immediately turning to see her flustered face. I blinked. Why was I here? Damn, I can't remember what brought me here. Damn, I did something without thinking again, just like that night. When I kissed her.

"What are you doing—"

"Don't make a scene, who knows what they'll think once they find us," I whispered and she sighed, admitting defeat. She leaned back on the other side of the wall, barely an arm away. The scene was awkward and I briefly regretted crossing the space. But at the same time, being stuck with her in such close space was also surprisingly pleasant.

"What do you want?" she asked softly, looking away. She thumbed the single blue earring on her right lobe. I struggled for a reason but there was none in my head. It was blank. I inserted my hand inside my pocket and surprisingly pulled out the ointment. I took her right hand, hoping it was still throbbing. But it was fine now. I bit my lip and slid the ointment back into my pocket.

"I told you it works fast..." I said softly as she pulled her hand away, placing it back on the earring. She nodded, still not meeting my gaze.

"Yeah... Arigatou..." She sighed and stood straight, moving slightly closer. She doesn't smell of lavender or roses but I felt... weird, like I was trapped in a trance. "I should go now, Miaka needs me," she said and I immediately stopped her. My hand grazed her arm and she looked up, surprised. I took my hand back as her cheeks gained color.

"What time will you go off today?" I never expected her to be coy and expressive. She was blushing like all the normal girls in my presence. But she was different, she was cute when she blushes and it somehow gave me some little amount of pride.

"Tokiya...?" she asked, taken aback.

"Well?" I leaned closer, staring at her intently. Her eyes were beautiful, like an after-rain summer sky.

"Around midnight," she answered very softly.

"It's dangerous to go home alone, I'll—" I stopped speaking and our eyes met. Do I really want to say what I was about to say? "Yui, I'll take you home," I said sternly. She blinked and then hastily shook her head.

"No, No Tokiya—"

Knocks came from the door and we both turned. "Yui are you there? Are you alright?" It was her brunette friend. I sighed and pushed the stray hairs off my face. Yui cupped her face and then turned toward the door.

"Yeah Miaka, I'll be done in awhile. I'm sorry," she answered aloud. She pushed some dusty blonde hair behind her right ear and straightened her uniform. She smelled different today, like green tea. I loved green tea.

"Okay, there's another customer in Table 3, don't forget." Miaka walked away and we were left together again. I don't have much time, I needed to do what I was supposed to do.

"Yes, yes. I just need a minute." She turned to me and her lips moved lightly to a thin smile. "Excuse me." I clutched her arm again and I didn't pull back even when she turned.

"I'll be here at 10 o'clock and wait, just like the first night—"

"You're waiting for nothing." She opened the door and I was forced to let her go. I pulled it open and step outside immediately after she did. To hell with whoever can see us. Who were they anyway?

"Yui—?" Miaka gasped when she saw us. It's not everyday I am found in a bathroom with a girl but the idea seemed normal to me now. It was the second time it happened.

"Hey Barbie—" I called and she turned, surprised and a little offened. "You're not nothing," I said, intently staring at her pretty face. I didn't wait for a response or a violent reaction. Instead, I walked past her and out of the restaurant, into the cool after-rain afternoon, feeling as light as the wind. I didn't turn even when I reached my apartment. I lied down on the bed and closed my eyes, smiling. Now I can finally sleep.

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A/N:**__ This chapter made me really sad but hopeful. But then, this is an angsty type of fiction. Then again, maybe it should be Hurt/Comfort instead? Haha. Don't forget to leave reviews!_


	7. Chapter 7

_There will be some mature stuff here. I really don't want to hold back since this is supposed to be an angsty type of fiction._

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Yes, no sex between them yet. I will delay as much as I can. Haha. __J_

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Hahaha. Yui's sometimes too conservative in this fiction, unlike the other ones I made on her. Just hope the characters are still right. ;)_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Seven**

By Slavedriver2008

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TIME WAS RUNNING SLOWLY. I glanced at the wall clock and Miaka cleared her throat, making me flush. I looked down and focused on wiping the counter, refusing to acknowledge what my bestfriend noticed. I turned my back on her and sighed, biting my lip and then silently berating myself for looking at the clock every 10 minutes.

"Someone's going on a date..." Miaka teased and when I looked up, I found her staring directly into me, giggling, as we were reflected in the mirror. I flushed, realizing she had seen the reaction I tried to hide from her. Gods, it was horrible. I frowned and faced her. "And she can't wait..."

"Miaka—"

"It was really very nice of Tokiya-san to take you home," she said quickly. "So please Yui, stop fighting with him. The guy's trying to be nice." She smiled wider. "So... what were you doing in the bathroom?"

"MIAKA!" I looked at her with disbelief and shook my head, flustered. "We didn't do anything—We just _talked_."

"Yeah, in a _bathroom_," she answered, rolling her eyes. She moved closer and giggled. "Come on, be honest. You never shared anything intimate with me," she told me, pouting her lips.

"We really just talked. Well, he held my hand for awhile but I pulled it away," I said softly, trying to lower my voice and not be heard in the unpopulated restaurant. It was near closing time, near 10 p.m., and I was getting nervous. With every second movement of the clock, I can hear my heart pounding louder and louder.

I was not supposed to feel this way for him. I already promised not to fall. He was like Tetsuya, he will be bad for me. I know because it was not normal to think too much of a guy. Tokiya was just like Nakago. Even Tetsuya noticed, didn't he? When they first met? He was like him, aloof and unpredictable and undefined and probably unstable—like me. All that he wanted was to sleep with me, yes, it was probably the reason why he insisted to take me home. Well, he did ask me to sleep with him and normal men don't ask things like that, especially not on a first date. I sighed and Miaka pinched my cheek.

"You're spacing out in the middle of a conversation, you know," Miaka teased and heat filled my cheeks. "You're thinking of him," she said matter-of-factly.

"Miaka, you know I can't have him…" I whispered and my brunette bestfriend frowned. "It's not good for me."

"Falling in love is not bad for anyone," was her reply. "Yui, the last time you fell in love was—"

"The time I became like this," I cut her and she was taken aback.

"You're not sick," she answered in a serious tone.

"I am," I whispered sternly, looking around. My heart was pounding loud and I bit my lip as one of the customers stood up and left. "I'm very very sick. I'm not getting any better. I'm falling more and more into oblivion. I'm—"

"Yui," she touched my arms and our eyes met. She had a determined look on her face. "You are not sick. You're just emotional. But you're not sick, you're—you're just afraid," she stated and I moved away, shaking my head. "Not all men are like Nakago, they won't use you and break you and…" She embraced me and sighed. "I want you to be happy the way I am happy. But Yui… you have to want it for yourself. You can't stay miserable."

Tears fell from my eyes and I was glad the customers were all gone. I wiped it and moved away from Miaka. She will never understand me, even after the book, when I thought we're supposed to become closer. But no, Miaka will never understand what it's like to be alone at night and to think and be consumed by nightmares. She doesn't know how hard it is to act normal every fucking day, like nothing was wrong, like nothing was missing.

"Look, I'm happy…" I answered, not turning to her. "I'm just…"I shook my head. I don't have to tell her. She will never understand. She will just think I'm unstable and I'm crazy. I bet they pity me sometimes. Darn, I hate thinking this way. I turned and gave her my flashiest smile. "Let's be quick so I'm ready when he comes."

Miaka looked worried for awhile and then she laughed lightly. "Yes, you shouldn't keep Tokiya-san waiting."

"Yeah, my first date," I said, smiling. Deep inside I wanted to scream. "I'll wash the dishes." Miaka laughed and nodded. She hated washing the dishes but I love doing them. I forget about my worries when my hands are drenched in cold waters. It was always relaxing.

Tonight, however, was different. The waters could not take away the thoughts that filled through my head, rampaging my sanity and making me every bit tensed and uncomfortable. It was like I was fighting with another me, in my head, and I knew I should probably schedule a session with my psychiatrist next week. He always knew what to do, what to make me do, what to cure me with. I needed him more than I needed all the other people in my life. Yes, I should do that, or else these thoughts would devour me. And the last I want was to break again.

I sighed and wished he would not come. I wish he'd just let me be alone for awhile. The one week was not enough to forget the night and the kiss that went with it, the wonderful but undefined emotions that makes my heart a prisoner of some emotion I had come to forget. No, I was not in love with him. No attraction, no fascination, no crush, nothing. He was nothing to me, yet I felt otherwise. It was just a kiss for Seiryuu's sake. College men kiss anyone they like. _Like._

I accidentally dropped a plate on the sink and it broke. My hand bled but I immediately washed away the blood with the waters. I'm afraid of blood, it always drives me insane. When I see it, when I smell it, I remember the war and the thousand faceless soldiers behind his horse, fighting for a useless cause that I initiated. Blood meant war, death. Blood meant his heart, pierced by a hand of a warrior I thought I loved. I shook my head.

No, it was over. I have moved on. I don't care about him, about his death… It's good that he died. I wanted him gone from my life. No, Yui, stop thinking. I turned off the faucet, thinking it was about to burst. Miaka had not walked in the kitchen and I waited for her to come and rescue me from my thoughts. She didn't come. I remained alone with the shadows and the rays of the moon and the unsettled emotions at the pit of my stomach. She never came to my rescue anyway. Why should I be surprised?

You see, Miaka couldn't save me from myself. Tetsuya couldn't as well. Nobody could. Not my parents, not my doctor, not Tokiya. Only he can save me and deep inside I still want him to save me. I want him to come the way Taka came into Miaka's life, as swift as the summer wind. I want him to come and save me. Because it was always him who can, the only one who can.

"Nakago…" I called softly, relishing his name in my mouth.

I shook my head and focused my attention on the dishes. He will never come. How many times have I waited for him? How many instances did I imagine him showing up somewhere and introducing himself the way Taka did, under the falling cherry blossom trees that marked our season? Spring had come and gone and he still remained a figment of my imagination, someone who I will never have but will forever yearn for.

In less than an hour, we were done with the last preparations before finally closing for the day. It was already close to midnight and there was still no _him_ to take me home. I don't know what to feel or if I should even feel anything. Miaka eventually left, riding at the back of Taka's Vespa, clinging to him like her life depended on it. When they were gone I looked up at the sky, tiny drops of rain fell and I moved closer to the side of the restaurant, under the roof to avoid getting wet.

I don't want to go home yet. I wanted to stay here and feel the cold cold wind. A solitary tear fell from my eye; he will never come. I smiled and laughed lightly. It was okay, the men in my life always came late and they never stayed for long. Not that it would matter. Not now. He was nothing to me. Yet… Just a little longer, I wanted to stay here for some more minutes. Just a little bit more…

I sighed and waited.

"Hey Miss, are you going home? We can take you home, you know," a hard mischievous voice broke my reverie and nervousness filled me when two men walked toward my direction, smirking.

* * *

I WAS LATE. I woke up with a start and the wall clock hit me. It was already close to midnight and it made me curse loud. I stood up from bed but was immediately pulled back, my hands were tied on the headboard. I pulled but the ties won't break. Another curse left me and a warm giggle answered back. When I turned at the door, she came forward and walked toward the bed, wearing her usual black lingerie.

"You forgot to lock the door, To-ki-ya," she whispered as she crawled on top of me, her voluptuous breasts shaking as she settled on my waist. My jaw clenched.

"Take this off," I ordered, giving her my angriest glare. She giggled in response. "NOW." She pouted and it annoyed the shit out of me.

"Oh, you're no fun." Before I could protest, she covered my eyes with a black cloth. "Your eyes are always angry and I hate seeing them." I moved my head but being tied to the headrest made me a helpless man.

"Why the fuck—" A warm tongue grazed my neck and her fingers moved through the buttons of my shirt, parting the cloth and moving long-nailed fingers along every jab in my chest. "YURI STOP THIS—"

"No, I told you I want you." She moved her tongue over my ears and I bit my lip as my pants tightened. It didn't help that she knew my sensitive spots. We've done this for god-knows-how-long, senseless fuck with nothing but release. "Too bad you're not high. Do you want a tablet, Tokiya?" she asked and I squirmed under her, trying to push her away.

"Damn it, Yuri. Get off me," I said out, my voice tight. A hand moved between my legs and I cursed as she wrapped around my manhood, now hard and throbbing. "Damn you—"

"Damn me?" She laughed. "I think what you want to say is Fuck me," she cooed softly in my ear as her hand started to move, sliding up and down, in wondrous addicting strokes, my breathing heavy. I arched lightly and she giggled. She was high, I could tell. She was never aggressive when she's sane. "Tokiya is hard and long and so alive," she whispered, voice heavy. "What's her name? You can pretend she's me, I don't mind."

"Yuri—STOP!" A groan broke from my throat as felt her mouth move at the tip, tongue swiping along in seductive strokes she knew I could not resist. I gritted my teeth, helpless as she put me in her mouth, fast and desperate. Words disappeared from my mouth, replaced by groans as I felt my need confluence and dying to burst out. "DAMN YOU!"

I pulled the ties, the headrest shaking wildly. She didn't stop sucking madly and I arched to her mouth, warm and wonderful and heavenly. It had been awhile since we did this shit and I remembered begging for _this_ after the break-up. For a year it continued, casual cocaine-high sex. What I wanted, asked, she couldn't give during the relationship so we settled without any attachments. It was all about _this_ to begin with. For her, I was only a prick, a good fuck.

The ties on my right hand loosened and I pulled the blindfold up, immediately seeing her crouched and sucking me in her mouth. I was surprised I managed to hold on but I was too hard my crotch hurt like hell. I pushed her shoulder and she backed, surprised. I pulled my left hand angrily and the tie broke. I bit my lip as the release got delayed, the pain was becoming unbearable.

"I'm tired of fucking you," I stated and she looked back with disbelief. I smirked. "You're already too old. Get out, hag."

Her brown eyes widened and she heaved angrily. I used to want her to death, loved her at some point. But it was a useless unproductive affair. She was just a fucking buddy, someone to throw away when a better one comes along. It would have not reached this point if only she reciprocated my emotions, accepted what I could give. But it was fine. She was bad for me. The way _he _was bad for _her._

Without another word, she stood up and ran away, banging the door too loud I thought it would break. I struggled to stand and it was torture before I ended up in the bathroom, still very much aching, my manhood begging for release. I sat down and my left hand covered my eyes, my face slightly flustered. I've done this countless times in High School and was pretty good at it. But sex was always 10 times better. Hell, I'm desperate, just to get this pain out of my body.

"Shit..." I cursed softly as I moved my right hand with expertise, my eyes shut tight. I have to finish this quickly. I promised to take her home. Her image immediately appeared in my head, her long nicely-shaped legs, the collar bone and the blue strap... _Yes... _No, I can't masturbate with her in my thoughts! THIS WAS INSANE—

I exploded and white spots blurred my vision, pleasure whacked through my body, not too strong to drive me to insanity but enough to release the pain in my abdomen. I covered my mouth afterwards, flushed, as a satisfied groan left me. I swallowed hard when it had subsided, stood up, and washed my hands. Great, how am I supposed to talk decently to her now? Damn it.

I washed my face, let the waters soothe the anger in my body. I don't want to be angry when I take her home because when I'm angry I make her angry, I want to be a good boy. I'm going to take her home and maybe flirt a little. I'll probably smile—she'll flush again—and brush the stray hair behind her ear, where the single blue stud earring is.

I shook my head, I'm not a virgin for Christ's sake. I don't have to think about every little damn detail. I'll just take her home and that's it. If she wants me to stay longer, I will. If she wants to sleep with me, who am I to deprive her? I please my women. They swarm me like moths to flame, like fish to water. Only Yanagi had the mental and physical strength to decline my offer. Heck, she chose that monkey over me but I'm not regretting anything. I am fine where I am.

"Shit," I cursed as I remembered I was already late. I tied my hair in a messy ponytail and ran out of the apartment, locking it behind me. Yuri was no longer standing around the area in her lingerie. It then hit me that she probably fucked every other men in the building and I dared offer her a ring? Damn, what was I thinking? It was probably the drug and my demented sanity.

I don't want to be crazy anymore. I just want to take this wonderful girl home tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that. I want to take things slow, the way it was with Yanagi. I want to be with her. I want to be inside her…

I slapped my forehead as I ran. No, that one got mixed up. I was heaving when I reached the restaurant but by the time I arrived she was not standing and waiting alone—if she waited at all. She laughed lightly as a man pulled out another helmet from his motorcycle. Instead of handing it to her, he placed it over her head and helped her secure the helmet. My brows creased. Who the fuck is he?

He took her bag and placed it inside a small compartment under the seat and alighted the motorcycle, putting on a helmet and offering her a hand. I placed a hand on the wall of the restaurant, eyeing them intently, hoping the thunder will hit them and they'll just burn away, like the photographs I burned last week.

Yui took his hand and he assisted her behind her. I did not miss the way she snuggled to him, wrapping arms around his waist. She screamed lightly when the motorcycle hovered forward and her long hair flew back, their image disappearing in the night. I punched the wall out of annoyance and anger.

"I will break you," it was out of my mouth and I couldn't remember what happened. My mind was clouded with numerous emotions and incoherent thoughts. Damn him. Damn her.

When I woke up, I was in Yuri's bed, head still high and spinning. Foils of paper were on the floor and grains of cocaine were scattered on the carpet. We were naked and I don't have to be sane to know what happened before I ended up in her bed. The past events were a blur and when I tried to remember them, my jaw clenched.

"Tokiya…?" Yuri called, slowly opening her eyes. The moon was still high and rain was starting to fall. I hate the rain.

I pushed her toward the bed, face down and penetrated her roughly. She muffled a scream and I can hear the pained sounds she made as I thrust into her. I clutched her long blonde hair and pulled her head back.

"Fuck you," I said in her ear, floating. There was only one woman in my thoughts and I hated myself for keeping her there. She cried louder as I continued, without mercy, without tenderness, without anything. "I will break you, Yui. I will break you."

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A/N:**__ Wow, this is the first time I wrote about sex in a man's perspective. HARD. Hope you liked it._


	8. Chapter 8

_Yehey, another update! :D I'm honestly not in the mood to write but I don't want to stop either. Hehe. Oh well, please enjoy this fiction!_

_**ThePinkMartini:** It's actually really Yui. :)_

_**LeeRaRa:** Oh no ma'am, she didn't choose them. He didn't stop them because he's egoistic? HAHAHA!_

_**FallenMad:** This is actually events that happened after FY series and after RnH series (manga-style) so they lost all their powers. :) _

_**Disclaimer:** Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine_

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**Chapter Eight**

By Slavedriver2008

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THE SUN WAS HIGH. The waves washed through the shores, leaving sizzling sounds as the foam hit the scorching sand. The beach beckoned but I was under the cabana, looking, watching Taka and Miaka and Keisuke swim the breaking waves, laughing, teasing. I placed down my book, it was useless to read further. I have been staring at the same words in the same page for more than an hour.

My mind drifted to him. He never showed up. I didn't expect him to come. But I waited anyway. Again, I expected him to stood me up and he did not disappoint. But I was disappointed. Disappointed. Frustrated. Hurt. Damn men and their promises.

I stood up from the bench and strolled around the area, still deep in thoughts. I checked my emotions and myself. Do I need the medicines again? No. No. I wanted to stop drinking those. It was bad for me. But then, nothing was ever good to me. Even a book wouldn't treat me well. I shook my head. Stop thinking, Yui. Stop.

Miaka squealed and I don't have to turn to know that she was having fun with Taka. And I remembered it again and again. Memories, options, mistakes I regretted doing but have to endure. If Tamahome chose me, would I have been in her place? Would I have been happy? Would I walk around the beach holding his hand, hearing sweet sweet nothings? I shook my head. No, those were bad thoughts. But still, I wondered.

How does it feel to be wanted, desired, loved by a man? Someone who reciprocates what I keep in my heart? How does it feel to exchange looks and small touches and smiles with hidden meanings? No. No. I shouldn't think about those things. I am not an ideal girl remember? I am sick. No decent man would want me. No man in his right mind would fall in love with me. Love has always been a dream.

I accidentally bumped into someone and when I looked up, found familiar bluish gray eyes. Recognition flashed through those orbs and he moved away, I then noticed that they were slightly swollen. Swollen? Tokiya looked away, placing a hand over his face. I saw the bandage and the dried blood on his hand and I panicked. He was hurt, I knew much. I didn't why I did but I walked toward him, taking his wounded hand in mine.

"What happened…?" I asked, voice breaking. He pulled it away and I looked up to find his eyes again, glaring and misty. "Tokiya—"

"Shit," he cursed, still looking away. I touched his chin, to get a good view of his face. He moved away and I clutched his face, angry. He pushed me, immediately walking away in fast strides that left me running after him.

Tokiya entered the men's bathroom and I followed, not thinking twice, not caring. I found him staring at the wide mirror, heaving. The long hair flow down over his shoulders, like a fluid beautiful stream. His eyes widened when he saw me in the reflection and I turned him around, pushing him to the sink.

"Are you stoned?" I asked with disbelief, touching his face so I was not making mistakes. Yes, he was stoned. I knew. I just knew. "When did you take it—Last night?" He slapped my hand and it throbbed, the same way it did when he first hit my hand. But it landed on his chest as I leaned down to him.

"What if I am?" he asked, smirking, looking through my face. He was angry and I don't know why. I was supposed to be angry at him but seeing him now, I never felt irritated. I just… feel happy to see him again. It was crazy but I felt it. "What are you gonna do _Yu-i_?" he asked in a mocking tone and my jaws clenched.

"What are you doing to yourself?"It came out as a whisper but he heard it clearly, our faces closer than I thought. He smelled of nicotine. It was disgusting.

"What right do you have to ask?" he asked back, eyes drilling into mine. Then the smirk grew wider. "Look, we're in the men's bathroom now—should we get _it_ on?" he whispered very seductively and I gasped, slightly moving away. "I'm good in positions you know—" A slap landed on his cheek and his eyes widened. I stepped back, my face wet with falling tears.

Damn. He's so annoying. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. When men look at me, they see a woman to fuck, nothing more, nothing else. Damn.

"So that's all there is huh?" I asked, my voice broke but I couldn't stop myself, my anger, my frustration. I laughed coarsely and then bit my lip. "To you I'm just a walking vagina!" His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but I no longer wanted to hear his voice, see his face. I don't need explanations. I don't need excuses.

All I need was to get out of here. The space was suffocating me. I need air. I need space. I need…

"Yui—" he called but I was already out the door. Another figure almost collided with me and Taka's concerned face greeted my view. He was surprised as hell.

"Whoa—Whoa—Whoa, Yui—What are you doing in the men's bathroom?" I shook my head and walked away. He clutched my arm and pulled me back. "Hey are you okay?" I hated him for being too concerned about me. Why can't he just hate me? Why can't he just stop caring for me? If only he knew. If only I can tell him. He cupped my face and I shook my head.

"I'm fine," I whispered, lying. My heart was pounding loud and it rung in my ears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The door of the bathroom opened and he turned toward Tokiya. The latter stopped and looked at us, a few feet away. "Is he the guy?" Taka whispered and I nodded like a kid. "Do you want me to talk to him?" I shook my head, clutching my temple. It was throbbing, not a good sign.

"No. No, Taka. Don't waste your breath. I just… I need my medicine…" I stammered and he nodded. He understood. They knew my situation. They knew me too well. Unlike _him_. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as the world began to become a jumble of colors. We walked toward my room, walking limply. I couldn't breathe and he must have sensed it. I clutched my heart.

"Easy, Yui. Breathe… Relax…" he whispered and some words I couldn't understand. My feet were failing me. "Yui—"

"My heart is going to burst… Taka—" Darkness finally consumed me but I was conscious of our movements, conscious of the sounds around me. Taka carried me as my body shook. In a few minutes, I felt the cool sheets of my bed. Scrambling sounds came from my left and I opened my eyes lightly. Taka was in a state of panic. "Drawer…" I muttered and he pulled open the drawer near my bed, pulling out my medicines.

My body had gone limp and when I opened my eyes again, Taka had moved me and was forcing medicine into my mouth, followed by a glass of water. It was warm on my dry mouth and I devoured it as strength slowly returned to my legs. Taka was heaving when he placed me down on the bed again. He smiled.

"Whew! Feeling better?" he asked and I nodded slowly as my world began to return to normal. He cupped my face and I smiled back, weakly. "Yui—"

"I'm sorry I made you worry. I'm fine now. Please leave me alone…" I uttered and he shook his head.

"Yui…"

"I'm going to sleep..." I said. I was probably just tired from last night and for missing meals. The pain will go away, it always does after I become conscious. "Taka, I'll be fine… Miaka probably needs you know…" I said, pulling the sheets to cover my still shivering body. "Please don't tell her, please… I don't want to worry her…"

"Fine… Just make yourself okay for dinner, huh?" he asked and I nodded like I was in kindergarten and he was my schoolroom teacher. But who cares? I don't have enough energy to answer him back. The only thing I wanted was to sleep. "I'll be back in awhile."

He stood up and when the doors closed, I turned to the ceiling, my vision still a little blurred. It was not the first time I lost control, that my body gave way. It was not the first time. Again, I wished I never woke up, drift to sleep and then death. I'm tired of being alive. I was just tired of everything. My heart was still pounding softly but it had mellowed down, the way it does after I consumed my medicines. I closed my eyes. But even in the darkness, he was still in my thoughts. Damn him.

* * *

MY HEAD THROBBED, STILL SLIGHTLY STONED. I shouldn't have taken too much. Heck, I shouldn't have come with the gang in this fuckin' resort. If I knew she'd be here, I would have stayed holed in my apartment. I shook my head and walked toward the door of her room. I shook my head again and stepped back. No, I shouldn't come too close. I shouldn't…

Her tear-streaked face returned to my thoughts and it was enough to wake me slightly from the effect of the drug. No, it was not all about sex. It was not like that. I don't run after a woman just for sex. No, ma'am. But this was _her_. She who always lead men on, who make them run after her, beg for her attention. No, I won't become like him. I won't become like Tetsuya. I won't… Yes. Yes. It was probably just sex. I rubbed the bridge of my nose, convincing myself that it was the only damn reason why I followed them, her.

Yui, look what you did to me. I haven't been stoned in a year. I haven't been living like this. I changed. But why am I coming back to the man I used to be?

The door opened and when I turned, the man who took Yui inside the room pushed me to the wall, clutching my shirt. I tried to push him but he was obviously stronger because of my state. He pushed me again and I saw his face contorted in anger, looking at me like I was some madman.

"What did you do to her?" he snarled and I just looked back, trying to understand what he was saying. He pushed me again and I blinked. "Yui is a fragile girl. I don't know how you can toy with her feelings and why she lets you but never hurt her." I pushed him but it was futile. Damn, I wanted to punch his arrogant face. "She's my girlfriend's bestfriend and she did many things to keep us together—"

"Girlfriend's bestfriend? You took her home last night," I said, not meaning to. I was saying things that I had not planned to say. I was not in control. Heck, when did I ever get to control my fucking self when I'm stoned? "Who knows what else you did—"

"So you're the man who let her wait for 3 hours," he whispered, still angry. "Wanna know what you missed?"

"Damn it, let me go—"

"Taka—" It was Yui's voice. I knew. I knew because I knew. She was too predictable, a normal girl with a normal name. They both turned and I saw her, standing weakly, in a much disheveled state than when I saw her earlier. Her beauty faded too quickly. She was a normal girl with a normal face now. Heck, she was never spectacular to begin with.

"Go back to sleep, Yui—"

"Stop this, please…"she said, begging. She walked closer, in those still weak legs, holding into the wall to avoid falling down. Taka heaved a sigh and let me go. He stepped back and placed his hands inside his pockets. I could have punched him now but it was the least of my worries.

"Just call when you need anything…"

When he was gone, I aimlessly walked toward her, watching her pale face. Her skirt was thrown somewhere inside the room and she wore nothing but a thin shirt that showed off the white bikini underneath. My pants tightened but I couldn't stop staring.

"What do you want…?" she asked, not in a tone that was challenging. I leaned on the wall and looked through her form. I rubbed my eyes and looked away. What was I thinking? This was Yui. I don't want her. "If I sleep with you, would you stop bugging me?" she said softly and I turned too fast I thought one of the veins in my neck snapped.

"What joke is this?" I laughed loud. She was making fun of me. After I was left with nothing but the lingering feel of her lips for the last weeks, with nothing but the thought of being inside her… Her reaction had not changed and I stopped laughing. I swallowed hard. She swallowed hard as well. And I remembered, I was not a man who turn women down.

"Get inside," it was out of my mouth, my voice suddenly heavy.

She nodded softly and I followed her. My heart started to beat loud and I was no longer slightly dizzy. I was very much aware of every movement, every breath, every look. I closed the door and she turned around, the bed behind her. She tucked some stray hair behind her right ear, where the earring was placed, looking down. She heaved a sigh and then started to unbutton the shirt. In a few steps, I was in front of her and my hands were touching hers. She was trembling.

"Let me," I whispered and she nodded, still not looking up to meet my gaze.

I slowly cupped her face and the familiar feel of her skin sent a shiver down my spine. I was touching her again. Touch. I lifted her face and I ran my tongue through my lips, moistening it before it landed on her dry mouth, earning a small soft gasp. I cupped her face with both my hands, pulling her closer as my tongue moved through her lips, tasting. The trembling ceased and I slowly laid her down on the bed, moving away to look at her face. She was red and the sight made me smile. She looked better now.

I pulled off my shirt and her lips pursed, swallowing hard as her blue eyes landed on my naked chest. I leaned to her for another kiss and she responded lightly as our mouths moved, slower than the first time, but in familiar strokes that seemed to have grown in me. When she finally let me inside her mouth, I heard myself growl in anticipation. Her fingers clutched my hair, it was a wonderful feeling. I pulled away and she made a sound of protest. In less than a second, I pulled the ties of my hair and it fell, free for her fingers.

Our mouths met again, a little more desperate as the need between my legs intensified. The only sound I could hear was the little moans she gave in between kisses, the jagged breathing as our mouths moved together. It was enough to drive me insane, hitting me hard hard hard, pulling out an almost familiar feeling from the pit of my stomach. I parted her legs. I needed to feel her. I wanted her to feel me, feel the desire she lit in me with a kiss.

"Tokiya…" she called and I knew I was damned. We were both damned, burning in the wondrous wondrous wondrous heat emitted by our grinding bodies. I kissed her again as my hand clasped a mound on her chest, underneath layers of cloth that I easily parted for my exploration.

"Yui…" I uttered her name with a tinge of desperation. I needed to be inside her. Damn. Damn. Damn. Was she ready to take me in? She has to be. I can't control myself any longer. It was the only option. I snapped the buttons open with one hand, sliding the zipper down to unbar my aching need only she could satisfy.

My hands landed on her hip as I continued to devour her mouth, pushing her further to the bed that will fulfill all my desires. I felt the dampness between her legs and I kissed her deeper as I tug through the bikini and into the overflowing warmth of her opening. I groaned loud as she enveloped the tip, tight and slick and devastating. I pushed further inside and a cry broke through her sweet swollen mouth. Her nails dug on my shoulder, leaving a pleasant painful throbbing on my skin.

"Tokiya—"

"YUI? YUI? Are you inside?"Loud knocks came from the door and I cursed loud. I cupped her face, leaning down to whisper gently.

"Don't answer," I ordered. I don't want to stop. No, not when I'm almost inside her, not when she's giving herself to me, not when she was willing to be mine. Mine. She'll be mine. Just mine.

"Yui? It's me Sakoshita! I saw Miaka and she showed me to your room," the girl said across the door and her blue eyes widened. "Come on, Miaka said you're bored. Why don't you join us? Yui! Come on—Don't be a spinster!"

"Please get off me," she whispered, as if waking up from a trance and realizing being with me was the last she wanted. I clutched the linen near her face, jaws clenched as sudden bursts of realization burned inside me.

I stood up and turned around, grumbling as I arranged my pants and as I urge myself to return to normal. My crotch hurt but release was no longer an option. She took it away as easy as she had given it. She was the worst kind of player. She passed me and walked toward the door.

"Sakoshita, give me 10 minutes to get decent. I'll see you at the pool area, I think." The girl laughed on the other end and agreed before the footsteps faded. She didn't turn and a sigh left her mouth, her shoulders downcast. "Tokiya, I'm sor—"

"No problem. I did that to let's say, 4 other girls before you. I didn't miss anything," the words were out of my mouth even though it was lies. She turned, crows creased, lips pursed. It was all I could do to regain my pride. I will never admit losing, not to her. I scooped my shirt and leaned on the door, trapping her inside my arms. "You're not really much of a loss, 34A."

Her eyes widened and I laughed smugly, pulling open the door and walking out, not waiting for a counter-attack. What I needed now was a cold bath to wash the heat in my body. If she can play around, I can play around as well. I have nothing to lose. Soon, I will break her for good.

**

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_A/N:_**_ I am mean. Sorry the chapter had to end like this. Hahaha. Hope you like this chapter! Drop me your reactions!_


	9. Chapter 9

_Yay, chapter 9 now! I think I'm close to finishing this fiction. Haha! Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave reviews! Btw, I will be in hiatus for a month so this will be the last update for Rain and Thunder. :)_

_**Princess-of-doctors:** Yeah! This fic is very angsty, and I'm trying to maintain the angst. Heehee. :)_

_**LeeRaRa:** Yeah, Yui is so mean. Haha. But I think they're both mean to each other. Haha!_

_**ThePinkMartini:** But he's a cute ass! ;P_

_**Disclaimer:** Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Nine**

By Slavedriver2008

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RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE TOO QUICKLY. One time we're fighting and then in another we're on my bed in an intimate exchange. Now, we act like we don't know each other at all, like the _us_ who got into quarrels, who got into sensual kisses, were another _us_, in another time. I want to stop analyzing what he is to me and what I am to him. It was futile. Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, we were really nothing but strangers caught in a web of lies.

But still, I wanted him to turn and see me. But it was a stupid want. A man like Tokiya wanted a woman like Yanagi, sweet cheerful warm. Like Miaka. The only thing he could offer a girl like me was a one-night stand. I was only good enough for small things, never in grander possibilities. I was only good for flings, not relationships.

"Yui-chan, where are you going to college next month?" Yanagi asked in a charming voice as we walked the beach. Tokiya didn't move a muscle or even pretended to turn. He was walking ahead, hands busy with the camera.

"I don't know, probably Todai…" I answered and Yanagi squealed.

"You passed Todai?" I nodded. "What course? Tokiya studies in Todai!" Her cheeks burned and I don't want to imagine the thoughts in her head. His head moved slightly, but still evidently uncaring.

"Oh, just some pre-med course—" Yanagi squealed louder and the rest of the gang smiled wide. Fuuko wrapped an arm around my shoulder and placed her body weight on mine. She was a little heavy for a woman. It was probably brought by all the chest weight. I suddenly grew conscious of my breast. Tokiya said it was small. I will forever hate him for that.

"Mi-chan is taking pre-med too, you know," she said and I suddenly felt uncomfortable. How can he take the same course? We were completely different. "You'll be in the same university, in the same building, and… er… probably in the same dormitory." She winked and my cheeks brightened. Yanagi squealed again.

"Well, Todai is an option. I might or might not go there…" I reasoned out and Yanagi frowned.

"Todai is the number one in Japan, Yui. I dreamed of going to Todai." I shrugged my shoulders and Yanagi dangled on my arm. They were both heavy. "You used to talk nonstop about Todai… and you used to always use it as example for the children in the center…" The center, I missed the children in the canter. But I cannot go back to those days. The waters hit my feet, it was cool.

"Dreams change when people change. I'm no longer the same…" I whispered and Yanagi looked surprised.

"Hoy, how about a round of ping pong?" Recca called us and Fuuko immediately ran toward him. Yanagi and I followed while Tokiya turned when we passed him. I looked away. I should stop my childish fascinations, he only wanted me for sex. The last I wanted, needed was to be with a man for selfish worldly reasons. I was not a slut. He may be a man-whore but I will never stoop to his level.

_You're not really much of a loss…_

My stomach tightened and I wanted to slap, punch, kick him in the face for degrading me. Why was he like that? He had the gall to get angry and be selfish when I stayed all night waiting for him. What I needed from him were not kisses and touches, that surprisingly made me feel wonderful, but an apology. But he was good at leading girls on, good at wrapping them around his long fingers and using them to fill his needs. I was nothing to him but a girl to fuck. I should have realized earlier that he was worse than Tetsuya. I probably need another session with my doctor after the summer.

"I think you and Tokiya make a good couple," Yanagi noted and I turned, surprised. I don't know how she comes up with such pathetic thoughts but I wanted to hear more. She always speaks like she knew him very well, like everything that he had been showing me were padded. I wanted to unearth him, I wanted to read his thoughts—like Yanagi. I looked away, my chest getting heavier.

No, they were wrong. Everyone around us said we look good together but I've been with him, closer than we should, and I never saw nor felt any chemistry. More than anything else, we dispel each other. Tokiya had taken the seat across us and Yanagi giggled when he turned to where we sat. Our eyes met and we both looked away. She nudged my elbow and I rolled my eyes, focusing on Recca and Fuuko as they engaged in a battle of table tennis. Domon was cheering his girlfriend and I wanted to laugh at them. They were a hilarious couple.

"I highly doubt it," I answered and Yanagi laughed lightly.

"You're both denying something that's obvious," she said. Cheers erupted from the table where a game had started.

"You don't know how much I hate him."

"Your ribbon didn't snap," she pointed out and I shook my head. "If you two could just stop arguing even for awhile, you'll both realize you have many things in common," Yanagi insisted and I kept mum. Yanagi will never understand how we tried and failed. If he showed up that night, I would have reconsidered a relationship. But he didn't, it was a relief. I knew what he was made of and that he was not a good man for me. But still…we never really tried, didn't we? But I was not about to tell her that. "For one, you're both geniuses and you're both very independent. You're even studying the same college course," she said, rolling her eyes.

I laughed lightly as Fuuko started to throw a tantrum after Recca got a point. Yanagi leaned closer to me. "Your friends are very funny." Yanagi nodded behind me and we both giggled when Recca started to tease Fuuko. "Yanagi, why do you like Recca? Why did you choose him instead of Tokiya?"

"I met him first," she stated and I turned with a raised eyebrow.

"So if you met Tokiya first you'll choose him?" I asked, my heart pounding loud. I met Tamahome before Nakago and I thought I love him.

"Yui, in love, timing is everything," she said, smiling and I looked at her confused. I felt like she was speaking from somewhere far away. "Oh, now I understand why you and Tokiya don't get along…" she smiled wide. "You always miss the moment."

"There's nothing between us, Yanagi. I'm not—" I stopped myself and rubbed the bridge of my nose. I didn't like where this conversation was heading. "I think I need to go to the washroom." Yanagi looked back with concern and I smiled. "I'm fine. I'm just going to pee," I lied and she nodded.

I stood up and walked away, clutching my head. My heart pounding fast and my knees were a little wobbly. I was outside the amusement center when a hand grabbed me and Tokiya pulled me to the side, cupping my face.

"Where does it hurt?"

"I'm fine—I…" I grabbed my chest, it throbbed.

"I'm taking you to the clinic—"

"No—No—I'm fine! Please… I just need to lie down and close my eyes…" I said, eyes squinting. He pulled me somewhere far from the center, where fronds of coconut trees swayed with the late afternoon wind. The salty scent of the sea filled my nostrils and it did not relive me. When we reached a certain secluded area, Tokiya stopped and started to unbutton his shirt. "What are you doing?"

"Relax," he whispered and I watched him place the shirt over the sand, throwing away the pebbles and rocks underneath. He offered a palm and I looked at it. "Come, I'll watch over you while you catch your breath." I nodded hesitantly but still took his hand, it was cool. He pulled me closer, wrapping an arm around my waist and assisting me down to lie on his shirt. The sand was warm on my back and when he leaned down, I thought I'm going to get a fever.

"I can't relax like this," I said, standing up, my chest had been pounding too loud it might burst. He pulled me down again and this time, he wrapped me inside his arms, my head occupying the spot between his shoulder and his chest. I heard his heart, beating loud, like mine. Tokiya crouched and I felt his breath on top of my head. "This is awkward, what if someone sees us?" I pointed out and he laughed lightly. It made my cheeks burn.

"You think too much," he whispered, pulling me closer. "You talk too much too," he added and I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to push him away. Because really, that was the least I wanted. "Everything about you is excessive. That's why you don't have a boyfriend."

"Yeah? Well, everything about you is lacking. If you smile more, you can get a girlfriend," I hit back and he pinched my ear, not too tight to hurt and I looked up sharply to meet blue-gray eyes. The redness had faded and I was relieved. He pulled me closer and I smelled after-shave lotion. It smelled nice and I was briefly tempted to run my fingers over his face.

"If you shut up, you can get a boyfriend," he said sharply, smirking. I opened my mouth to say something but I closed it again. I really don't have much to hit him back with. I laughed lightly and he moved his face closer.

"You always box me out," I whispered and he smiled, wanting to laugh but stopping himself at the last minute. He was fascinating and handsome. I wondered why Yanagi didn't choose him—he was physically better than Recca.

"Yeah?" he mumbled, running the back of his fingers over my cheek. It was a little ticklish. Our eyes met and the sound of the waves lulled me into a trance where only we existed. I realized then and there that it was pleasant to be in his arms. My cheeks brightened immediately when I remembered we almost had sex earlier. He must have realized it too because a light tint of pink showed through his cheeks. "What were you talking about?" he asked, probably to divert attention, and I blinked.

"Huh?"

"You and Yanagi," he said softly and I was taken aback. "Don't tell her I'm—I was stoned." I nodded and bit my lip, the pain in my chest seemed to have resurrected quickly. I sat up and he followed, leaning and looking with concern. I turned to him and tried to smile. I'll never be better than Yanagi in all aspects. I don't like this feeling. "What's wrong? Are you feeling better?" He cupped my cheek and I noticed how nice he had become. All because I found him drugged and he doesn't want her to know. Love is such a bitch.

"Tokiya, if you want… If you like Yanagi, you should have stayed with her." I stood up and walked away, arranging my shirt and pulling it down. I dusted off the sand on my hair, moving through the strands where remains of his touch, his scent were left. I resisted the urge to pull them toward my nose.

"What?" he asked, pacing with me and blocking my way. I passed him, looking down. I was jealous. Damn, I was too obvious. And right now, I'm too scared that if I stay longer with him, Tokiya will know. And I don't want him to know, him least of all. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you," I finally managed to answer and he stopped following me, surprised. I smiled, trying to stop myself from giving my emotions away. "I'll tell you something about girls, we get pretty insecure when guys are involved."

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I DON'T UNDERSTAND GIRLS. I thought I do but heck, why does Yui make things complicated? I can't read her at all. I placed my camera around my neck, looking around for a good subject. The fireworks will come out in a few more minutes and the resort has a special weekend summer program that includes a night market, refreshers, and some entertainment. I briefly remembered my dare but I was not the bit interested in fulfilling it.

There was no way I'm heading back when I was given the leeway to get away. I'm not stupid. The waves were mellow but crisp, whacking through the shores and then fizzling out in the cold. Couples and friends were out in the shores as a huge bonfire flared from a distance. Every guest in the resort was waiting for the fireworks and some couples had taken spots underneath the palm trees.

"Yui—look, a fire dancer!" I turned immediately and I found her, being dragged by Miaka. She half-heartedly obliged and I saw the forced smile on her face. They walked toward the half-clothed fire dancer and I unconsciously followed, noticing the little reactions that crossed her face.

The entertainer was in a circle and I walked in front, exactly across her. Our eyes met and I remembered the feel of her lips, the softness of her body, and the warmth between her legs that could have been mine. She looked away, evidently flushed and I smiled, not taking my eyes off her. I didn't know why I did and she looked up to smile back, very slowly, in a slow moment that seemed to have zapped me of air. I wanted to do it again, move my fingers over her hair, over her cheeks, the way I did earlier. I wanted to hold her close again, to inhale the faint scent of lavender and roses that seemed to have emanate from her smooth porcelain skin.

The fire reflected on her irises that were predominantly green at night. They were beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful. Claps erupted and we were both surprised when the dance ended and people started to move around us. Miaka pulled her arm but Taka immediately went in between and pulled the brunette away. I walked toward her, the feet sinking in the cool sand. She didn't move away and watched me walk towards her, waiting in those wide green eyes. When I was an arm away, she immediately bowed down and looked away.

"The headache's gone?" I asked, her head still bowed down. She blinked repeatedly, moving her fingers over the other hand.

"Headache? Oh, yeah I'm fine," she said and I don't know what to say or if there was anything else to say. Her hair glimmered lightly with the rays of the moon and I unconsciously ran the tips of my fingers through it, pushing some stray hair behind her ear and showing off the single stud earring. She slowly looked up and I resisted the urge to lean down and capture her lips for a kiss. She was beautiful, more beautiful than when I first saw her. She seemed to be getting prettier and prettier by the day and I was momentarily afraid that she will be too beautiful someone would snatch her away from me. I pulled my hand down.

"They're playing truth or dare, will you come?" I asked finally and she looked up. Our eyes met again and the scent of lavender and roses fleeted under my nostrils—it was a lethal yet heavenly combination.

"What…? Why?" realizing I was pertaining to my gang of monkeys. It was my dare, to bring her to them. Looking at her now, I realized it was stupid to blurt it out. Who wanted to hang out with those freaks? Tonight, I found out, I wanted her for myself. The way I had her under the swaying coconut fronds. Away from everyone, just mine.

"They make me do stupid things. If—" I cleared my throat. "—you're there, they might reconsider putting me on the spot." I asked lamely but I did not miss the smile that spread over her face. For one, I don't know how to make her come with me. She looked around us, running her forefinger over a spot behind her ear.

"I hate those summer games," she said and I laughed lightly, unable to respond. My eyes were fixed on that spot and the gently flick of her fingers. I ran my tongue over my lips, resisting the urge to suck on the piece of flesh.

"Well?" I groaned. She flushed and nodded slowly, still looking away.

"Mkay…" Relief washed through me and before I could say more, I reached for her hand and wrapped it with mine. The heat brought a wonderful feeling that infiltrated my stomach. She made a sound when I pulled her but I didn't turn to her. No, I can't let her see the wonderful effect she had on me. I covered my mouth with another hand, hoping I could wipe away the smile that seemed to have been plastered on my face.

Everything was perfect tonight. We walked together, under the clear moon, our feet leaving footprints in the sand. The smell of the sea wafted through our noses as our palms touched, unmoving. I pulled her closer as the cold wind glided over the shore toward our barely clothed bodies. She followed me, wrapping her free hand on my arm, the tips of her fingers were cold and I briefly thought of warming them with my hands. We slowed down and my heart started to beat wildly. I've never felt so alive.

"Mi-chan! What took you so long?" A sharp loud voice called us, breaking the serenity that bound us and we both turned to find Fuuko waiting at the door of the cabana, hands on her hips. She immediately smiled wide when she saw her and my jaw clenched. "Ah, you found Yui-chan! Good job! Good job!"

"What do you mean…?" Yui asked, looking up to me. I opened my mouth to speak but the monkey had said something before I did.

"Oh, we dared Mi-chan to look for you and bring you here!" Fuuko said, screamed, and I saw the disappointment in her eyes. Disappointment?

"Dare, huh… _Nice job, Mi-chan_." Yui pulled her hand away and did not fail to notice the sarcasm in her voice. She was angry at me again, and I barely did anything.

"Okay—its Domon's turn!" Fuuko called and the group erupted into cheers. Yanagi immediately walked toward her and I can only look at their backs as she left me in the doorway. The gang has occupied their spots in the circle and I sighed. Without another word, I walked over to them and sat beside Yui. She turned away, still evidently angry. Yanagi blinked at me and Recca whistled. "EH?"

"What does it say?" Domon asked expectantly.

"Uhm, it says do a body shot with your girlfriend…" Fuuko said and the two boys immediately said they'll get the tequila and the lemon, both excited. Yanagi volunteered to get the salt and we were left sitting together watching the commotion as Fuuko tried to convince the others that she'll do a different dare. But it wouldn't work—Domon would give anything just to get intimate with Fuuko.

"Stupid monkeys," I muttered and a giggled answered me. I turned toward her, watching the way she laughed lightly and the movements of her shoulders. Her voice was enthralling.

"They do act like monkeys…" She gasped as if realizing she was talking to me. She straightened and looked away, flushed. I moved my hand on the spot behind her, spreading my legs forward. She stiffened and I saw the blue earring glimmer.

I looked at the four and I laughed lightly when Fuuko punched Domon right after the shot. The tomboy immediately walked over the two fish bowls and pulled out two pieces of paper. "Recca, it's your turn—Leave a hickey on your girlfriend's neck!" she screamed without breathing, earning gasps from Yanagi and the monkey.

"Hey, why do I have to do that?" Recca reacted, his face flustered. Fuuko hit him on the head, screaming that he could not back out. Forced, the former fire-user bowed and apologized to his girlfriend. "I'm sorry, Yanagi!"

"Its fine—Please take care of me!" Yanagi answered and before the monkey leaned down on the girl's neck, Yui looked away and our eyes met. She stiffened again and looked down, surprised that we had unconsciously sat too close.

"Stop coming closer," she whispered very lightly and I leaned closer to tease her.

"I'm not moving closer…" I whispered, enjoying the anger and redness that spread over her face. She stared at me sharply, our faces inches away.

"Yes you are moving closer. Flirt," she hit back, venomously but surprisingly low. I moved closer to her and she didn't move away. The tips of our noses almost touched and I could feel the warm breath she was releasing.

"Flirt? Aren't you talking about yourself—"

"HEY YOU TWO—WE'RE STILL HERE YOU KNOW!" Fuuko called and we both turned. The four were watching us in wide eyes. Yanagi cleared her throat, covering the side of her neck with a hand. "Okay, it's Yui's time to do the dare!" Fuuko called and the two monkeys sniggered.

"Don't make her do too crazy things, Fuuko—" Yanagi said and the former wind-user nodded vehemently.

"Relax, relax!" She pulled out a dare from the fish bowl and read the dare out loud. "Here—Your dare is to—huh?"

"What's wrong?" Recca asked and Fuuko scratched her head.

"Well, you're supposed to kiss your boyfriend for 12 seconds. But you…"

"Ha, I don't have a boyfriend. Thank you. I think I should go." Yui clapped her hands and was about to stand up when Fuuko pushed her back down, making her lean on my arm. Now, this tomboy wasn't so bad, if only she'll learn to shut up in public.

"No—No! Mi-chan will be your temporary boyfriend!"

"WHAT?" We both said at the same time and Fuuko smiled wider.

"Well, his dare was to bring a girlfriend here, so he's your boyfriend for the night!" Fuuko explained and I wanted to slap my forehead. I have forgotten that they dared me to bring a girlfriend and it was Yanagi's idea to bring Yui. "Come on, come on. Pucker up!"

"I didn't agree to join this game!" she resisted and I kept mum. Hey, I was okay with the dare. It was just a kiss. We did more things than that earlier. Besides, I thought, I wondered if her lips tasted the same in the morning and at night.

"Well, you don't have a choice because we got you surrounded!" Fuuko screamed and Yui sighed, face beaten. "Come on, just kiss Mi-chan so we're done!" The woman stepped back and ogled at us and I wanted to kick them out of the cottage.

"I don't want to do this," Yui told me, face stern. But we don't have much of a choice do we?

"Same here," I answered and she opened her mouth to say something else. "Come on, we've done this before," I teased and the redness returned to her face. She frowned and I smirked, licking my lips.

"Shut up."

"Make me." She swallowed hard and hesitantly, very slowly licked her lips. She leaned to me and I merely watched her. She was supposed to kiss me, I was just supposed to receive, ne.

She tilted her head to the side and slightly parted her lips as she leaned to kiss me. I waited, watching her lips which suddenly seemed to have changed into succulent cherries. I moved to meet her lips but she back off slightly. She bit her lip and placed a hand on my chest before closing her eyes to meet my lips.

My eyes closed on their own and she moved to the other side to lean on my shoulder, my mouth following hers. My hands landed on her waist as her fingers trailed to wrap around my neck, our mouths pressed together, returning to the familiar lock when we always kiss. I resisted the urge to part her teeth and explore her mouth. I was not about to give the gang a show. But the desire to do so intensified as we stayed locked together. I bit her lower lip, very light that the watchers will not realized what I did.

Yui took a sharp intake of breath and I was surprised when her tongue slowly lined my front teeth. I cursed in my head when it moved back, unsure. A few seconds after, she slowly lined my teeth again and I parted my mouth more for her until she backed out again. Damn, why can't she just get it in already? Her fingers clutched my shirt and I was about to enter her mouth when Fuuko screamed.

"Eleven, twelve… Hey—TIME'S UP!" It took us awhile before we returned to our senses and we slowly parted, heaving lightly. I licked the remains of her mouth on my lips and I saw her flushed reaction as she thumbed the saliva at the sides of her mouth. Her mouth, I realized, tasted of strawberries.

"Wow, you don't look like it's your first time to kiss—"

"Recca, stop teasing them!" Yanagi called out, face in a shade of red. She moved her hands over her hair and consistently looked down, avoiding my gaze. I was about to tease her when Fuuko spoke again.

"Okay, look its Mi-chan again!" Fuuko screamed and I turned to her expectantly. Gods, let me kiss her again. I swear I will be a good boy and I will eat right, even stop smoking. My heat beat loud as Fuuko read my dare. "Get locked in a room with your girlfriend and stay there for an hour. And oh, do something intimate."

Yui and Yanagi gasped but before she could react, I pulled her hand, our palms met together. Yanagi almost screamed when I pulled Yui toward my room and immediately locked it behind me. I turned to her and immediately saw the shock on her beautiful face. She blinked and a mortified expression filled her face when she realized where we were. I smirked.

"Great, let's start."

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A/N: **__I will be on a month-long hiatus, as what I did last year. This time, though, I'm not sure if I'm returning to writing by November since I'm still evaluating my creative juices. Anyway, please do drop reviews and I will finish this fiction once I get back. __ Thanks!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Yeah, I'm back! I wanted to finish this fic while in hiatus but I guess real life caught up with me and I never got to do that. Hahahaha! Anyway, I'm still trying to remember how to write fictions so sorry if this chapter doesn't fit well to the previous ones. Please continue reading and don't forget to leave reviews!_

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Hahahaha! Well, the previous chapter was really cute! :D I wanted to do a truth or dare thing between them but I don't want it to become like all the other truth and dares fanfic. Hahaha. Hope it worked!_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Yui's driving Tokiya insane. Well, I think they're both driving each other insane. Hahaha. Cute! I hope you like this chapter too—I'm still relearning how to write this story._

_**Itgirl18:**__ Well, this fic happened 3 years after the book and since the last events in the Recca no Honou manga. So some things pretty much happened in these 2 characters that made them the way they are in this fic. :D_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

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**Chapter Ten**

By Slavedriver2008

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"START WHAT?" I ASKED, flustered and nervous.

Tokiya just pulled me away from everyone, locked us in his room, and then turned around to tell me we should "start." Start what? I asked ignorantly, rummaging through my head but all reason pointed to one possibility: Sleep together. Make love. Fuck.

I cursed in my head and stepped back. He took the hint and walked toward me, eyeing me in those blue gray eyes. My heart went wild and sweat beaded my forehead. No, we couldn't do it. I'm not ready. Not now. And definitely not with him. Though sleeping with him was not a bad idea… No! No way! What decency can I reserve for myself after sleeping with him?

Tokiya slumped on the bed and I screamed when he pulled me beside him. I clutched a pillow and hit him continuously. He gave out an angry grunt as he pulled the pillow, effectively pulling me to him as well. Our eyes met and I noticed the sternness in his blue-gray orbs. He grabbed my wrist and my arms landed on his chest, pushing him further to the bed.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, screamed.

"What were you _thinking_?" he asked back, shaking his head. He let go of my wrist and slowly pushed me away, not hard enough to make me lose balance but forceful enough to make me know that he does not want my presence, my nearness. He doesn't want me. That was it. "Like I want to do you," he mumbled, closing his eyes, and I felt blood rise to my face.

"Then why—"

"I just want to sleep. At least for an hour," he answered, settling his head on the pillow of the single bed. He opened his eyes slowly and looked sharply at me.

"Where will I sit?" I asked in a shrill voice I knew he hated. He covered his ears with the pillow.

"Figure it out for yourself." My blood boiled and I stood up on the bed, putting my hands on my waist.

"Cad," I called him, meaning him to hear. But instead of answering back, he settled under the pillow, facing the other side of the bed. "Sleep on me and I'm going out of the room," I warned him and he annoyingly turned, then covered his face with the pillow.

"If you're up for another dare, go ahead." Now what do I do? He was right. If I step out of the room, there's no way his gang will allow me to go home.

"Tokiya!" I called but he didn't answer. I sat down beside him and called him softly. "Tokiya…?"

"Hmmm…?"

"What am I supposed to do while you sleep?" I asked, waiting. There was nothing to do while he dozed off. He was selfish that way.

"I don't know… Masturbate?" My cheeks flushed and I grabbed the pillow on top of his head. Without another word, I started hitting him again. "Hey—ow!" I hit him continuously. Gods, why did Seiryuu allow me to get stuck with this man? "Yui, stop it!"

A loud thunder growled outside the window of the room and I screamed my head off. My insides trembled and I covered my ears as the coldness swept through my spine. Tokiya sat up in time for another thunder to come. I screamed again. When I open my eyes, I was clinging to him, pushing myself in the comfort of his arms. I didn't want to, but I needed to cling to something, anything.

A gentle laugh left him as he wrapped his arms around me and if I weren't too scared, I would have gotten angry. But I was too petrified to do anything, let alone squirm in fear. Another thunder hit the skies and I heard him laugh louder.

"Stop laughing—" I screamed as another thunder came.

"You're cute when you're scared…" he whispered and my ears flushed.

"You—Aaaahhhh!" I can't remember how many more came, all I know was that he was holding me and that every now and then he'll laugh lightly, not as a form of mockery but because he was pleased.

"What am I gonna do with you…" I caught him mumbling. Then he leaned down to look me straight in the eye. "You know, I'll demand something back after this," he said and I blinked away the tears from the sides of my eyes.

"What…?"

"Let me touch your breast." My eyes widened. "Underneath the shirt," he added and I gasped.

"NO WAY!" I screamed, sitting up. "Tokiya—why do you demand something crazy?" Thunder hit again and I screamed, an ear splitting scream, and I clung to him. Most men are satisfied with just that. Tokiya, however, was unlike most men. "Above the bra," I whispered, pouting. He shook his head, letting go od me and putting his head underneath the pillow. I squirmed without his arms. "You touched it once, I can't let you touch it all the time!"

"Why not?" he mumbled and I flustered.

"Because you're not my boyfriend—that's why!" He turned and slowly sat up, embracing the pillow in front of him. He smiled slowly, a soft smile. I noticed the slight blush on his cheeks.

"If I become your boyfriend then, you'll let me…?"

"What made you think I'll let you become my boyfriend?" I screamed, glaring at him. He was taken aback. "Why are you so sexually-attached to me?"

"I don't know—It's different when it's with you," he stated and his eyes widened. He shook his head. "Shit," he said under his breath as he lied back on the bed, his back on me. "The thunder stopped. I'm going to sleep. Get off my bed." Tokiya closed his eyes again, leaving me aghast and hurt.

He was rejecting me. Even before I even admitted anything. I swallowed hard and tried to stop myself from crying. Like I want him to begin with. I told myself over and over not to get attached. He was bad for me. He really was. Yet, here am I, watching him sleep as my heart breaks. My heart breaks?

I bit my lip and turned away, fighting the tears. I needed to get away from him. Damn, I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have let the fireworks elude me. I shouldn't have given in to the warmth of his hand, his cloudy eyes. I moved away from the bed, to save the last of my pride. A hand grabbed my wrist. Another hand wrapped around my shoulder and I shivered when I felt his breath close to my ear.

He leaned on my head and I involuntarily leaned to his chest, seeking his warmth. I hated myself for wanting these things. I don't know what to do anymore. With Tokiya, I seemed to want everything about him. I wanted him for myself. So much I can taste the desire in my tongue. Damn him for making me feel this way.

"Don't go…" he whispered and turned slightly to him, his nose leaning on the side of my face.

"You asked me to leave… Tokiya…" I whispered back in the softest voice I can muster. I was afraid someone might hear me, us. I was afraid too that he'll recognize the desperation in my voice. I don't want him to know. Not now. The small words that were coming out of our mouths, these were our secrets. Ours.

A heavy sigh left him and I closed my eyes as warm air passed through my cheeks. "What I really want to say is…" I slowly opened my eyes, listening intently. "I… I want to sleep with you…" He tightened the embrace and heat rushed to my face.

"Sleep…?" I asked, my voice cracking. My heart was giving me a heart attack.

"Translate it figuratively or literally—it'll work for me." The hand that was clutching my wrist loosened and it wrapped around my waist. I can feel the palpitating beats of his heart on my back. "I just… I just want you close to me, Yui…"

"Tokiya…?"

"Don't ask… Can you… stop asking for once…?" he asked, a little desperately.

I nodded, slightly laughing for a reason I don't know. All I know was that, he was holding me and he was warm. The next thing I know, we were lying on the bed and his arms were around me, my cheeks leaning to his chest. I can hear his heart, feel the warmth of his breath, feel the slow movements of his fingers along my hair. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

* * *

WE FINALLY SETTLED DOWN. And I'm somehow thankful we stopped hitting each other with the pillow. The fight (again) started when we woke up, after she realized my hand was cupping her breast. It was an accident. I was asleep for god's sake. How was I to control my movements? Well, I'm not really complaining. I had her to myself for almost an hour. Only a shrew will complain. We have a few more minutes before the dare ends. Gods, I wish it'll extend for another hour.

A smirk made its way across my face as she tried to capture my thumb. We were playing a thumb game, the ones where you try to press down the enemy's thumb as the other four fingers are clutching the other's fingers. Her other hand was unconsciously holding my wrist and I would have cried that its against the rules if only it wasn't so soft and warm. A giggle left her when I was the one becoming aggressive. She bit her lower lip. Damn, I wanted to bite her lower lip too.

"Tell me a secret," she said suddenly while my eyes were jumping from our hands to her lips, which was an ordeal I tell you.

"Secret?" I mumbled, raising an eyebrow. I stared at the movement of her lips. It looked so good I want to lean down and…

"Yeah. Whatever it is as long as it's relevant," she said, determined. I was taken aback. Her thumb attacked mine and I tried to move away. She moved closer too, oh joy. I leaned to her but she didn't notice.

"Hmmm… Let's see… I want to _force_ you."

"What?" She immediately looked up and her cheeks brightened when she realized our faces were inches away. I captured her thumb and she looked down again, struggling to get away. I let her go. "Nah, you're just scaring me."

"Your turn," I told her. I like this game. If I play it good, I can get anything I want from her. Even a kiss. I cleared my throat. It was too early for that. I have to corner her first.

"Well… I almost got raped," she started and we both stopped moving. "Twice. The first time was when I was fifteen and the second was… last night." She bit her lower lip again. I was staring at her intently, but she was good at looking away. "While I waited."

I cupped her face and met her eyes. She was not lying. No sir, she was telling the truth, that much I can tell. "Why were you waiting?"

"You can't ask." She moved her face down and focused on our fingers. She resumed the game and I was left with no choice but to play along.

"Why not?" I asked, my jaws clenching. I wanted to know. Anger rise to my throat. Whoever tried to rape her would pay. Damn it, nobody can touch her. Nobody. "Let's change the rules. We'll just ask each other. Whoever lies gets a kiss."

"What? That's not how it's played!" she said, frowning. I raised an eyebrow and she blinked. She must have recognized my anger because she looked away immediately.

"Who cares? Telling secrets is boring—"

"Fine! But I get to ask first," she cut me and she heaved a sigh. "Why do you like Yanagi?" she asked, in a very soft slow voice. I raised an eyebrow. Yanagi was three years ago. How did she…? Yui tugged at my hand and I cleared my throat.

"She looks like my sister. My dead sister. Satisfied?" A low gasp left her throat. "Why were you waiting last night?"

"Silly Tokiya…" A sad smile crept through her face. "You said… You said you'll pick me up…" she whispered, not wanting me to hear. But I heard it, every word. I wanted to slap my hand on my head. Yes, I remember now. I told her I'll pick her up but instead, I got myself stoned. Guilt filled me and I remembered Taka's words. _You made her wait for three hours… Wanna know what you missed?_ "Why didn't you come?" she asked, breaking my reveries.

"I came… I…" She looked up and our eyes met. I came to pick her up. I did. If Yuri didn't play that prank on me… I would have… We wouldn't be like this. Everything fell into place. No wonder she was angry earlier. I cupped her cheek. "I came late. Too late… I'm sorry…" She looked down and I moved my fingers through her ears to push back the hair that hid her face. "Who saved you last night?" I asked, very softly.

"Taka," she answered. She immediately shook her head and started our thumb game. "How many women have you slept with?" she asked.

"Just one. She was my girlfriend… last year. I almost had my second woman, say, an hour or two ago." Redness spread over her cheeks. She knew I was referring to the one we had in her room, when I was almost inside her. Gods, I almost had her and it was enough to bring me sleepless nights for a week, no maybe a month. "Surprisingly, sex is _very_ important to me."

"Why?"

"It's not yet your turn," I told her and she frowned. "How many men have you slept with?" I asked eagerly.

"None! I'm… I'm a virgin," she whispered the last word out and I laughed lightly. Yui is a virgin. Wow. I never thought… "Why is sex important to you?"

"I want to make love to a girl I like," I told her. I pulled her hand closer and she squeaked. "My turn. Yui, do you like me?"

"What?" She looked up and I got a view of her beautiful face. I saw the surprise in her eyes and the light tinge that colored her porcelain cheeks. I captured her thumb and she looked down, struggling to pull away.

I pulled her closer and she gasped when I leaned down. Close enough to feel the warmth of her breath. Close enough to capture her lips for a kiss. "Don't lie or I'll kiss you," I whispered, looking intently at those glimmering eyes that were predominantly green at night. "Again, do you like me?"

"I… Tokiya, I…" she stammered. It doesn't matter now if it's a yes or a no. I can easily kiss her and if I do, I'll make sure we won't regret it. No, I won't take advantage of her. I just her to _know_. I inched closer, cupping her mane to stop her from moving farther. "I… I… I do li—"

The door banged open and a shrill feminine voice filled the room. "TIME'S UP! AAAAHHHHH! TOKIYA MADE A PASS ON YUI!" Loud voices followed and Yui turned away, flushed, covering her face with a hand. The other was still intertwined with mine.

When I turned to the door, the monkeys were creating a bedlam. I knew then and there that someday, I would have to go on a monkey-killing spree and spare nobody. Absolutely nobody. Otherwise, Yui and I will never find peace.

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A/N:**__ Yay, almost close to finishing this fiction. Yay! Glad its almost done. Please leave reviews!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Among my crossover fictions, this one might exceed 12 chapters. I'll try my best to give this one a really good ending. But for now, I hope you like this chapter. I didn't have the time to edit so please bear with the grammatical errors. Thanks!_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Yeah, I have to end this soon because I can't delay the confession. After everything they've been through, they deserve a happy ending. :D_

_**LeeRaRa: **__Haha. Yes, Tokiya is one hot dude. The thumb game was actually the reason I came up with the whole summer arc. _

_**Itgirl18:**__ They do make a really hot couple, being both Scorpios and all. Haha. _

_**Disclaimers:**__ Recca no Honou and Fushigi Yuugi are not mine._

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**Chapter Eleven**

By Slavedriver2008

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I DON'T WANT TO OPEN IT. No matter how hard I try to think otherwise, the voluptuous envelope bearing the crest of a German medical school was telling me one thing: I passed the exams. I placed it inside one of my drawers. I was not ready to decide yet, I was never good with making decisions, especially when it involves choosing between two good things. The thing was this: its always easier to turn down a bad offer; but if it's a good one, it feels otherwise.

I also passed Todai and it's a stone's throw away from my apartment. I've always wanted to study in Todai, to become a doctor in the Japanese field. It was a dream I had since my grade school days. Though even if I study in Germany, I can still become a doctor in Japan. He also studies in Todai so it probably wasn't that bad. I clutched my head—no, I shouldn't decide based on him. He wasn't even a good option.

He was still in my thoughts as I walked toward the coffee shop. It was a bright sunny summer day and most people are on trips to the beach. Our district has less and less people everyday, even the café gets very few customers during this season. Miaka was already behind the counter when I arrived and it took me awhile before I changed into the uniform. Just like that, our usual morning started. Deep in my heart, I anticipated him to come in and dine. After all, for the past week, he had been constantly dropping by.

A little before lunch, my phone rang and I excused myself to answer it in the kitchen. It was a call from my parents, who were currently in Berlin. My heart beat wild as I placed the phone to my ear.

"Moshi-moshi?" I answered. "Dad?"

"Yui, how are you? Your mom and I visited Berlin yesterday and guess what we found out?" my Dad asked in a surprised and happy manner. I tried to sound happy.

"Uhm… What?"

"You passed the exams in Berlin! How's that? When do you plan to fly here to arrange your enrollment?" he asked eagerly and I bit my lip.

"Well... Dad, I haven't decided yet…" I admitted and my father probably raised an eyebrow. "I also passed Todai and—"

"This is a wonderful opportunity, Yui! Think about it and give me a call or an email," Dad cut me and I held back. It seemed that regardless of my decision, my parents wanted me to take the slot in Germany. "I'd love to chat more honey, but my meeting will happen in a bit. I just called because your Mom and I are excited for you!"

I laughed lightly, feigning happiness. My Dad was always supportive of me. The only problem was that, they never had the time to listen to what I want. They were even in denial of my psychological condition. And my medicines, they called them vitamins for my brain, not anti-depressants or stimulants or anything. It was never easy for parents to admit having a defective kid. But it was better this way. I face my own issues, with sheer strength and willpower. Support? At least they help me pay the fees.

My Dad and I said our goodbyes and I returned to the counter to assist Miaka. The café was still as bare as the time I arrived. The summer crowd was definitely down by the beach. Miaka stretched and heaved a sigh. It was sleepy day for business. We might even close down earlier than normal.

"When are you enrolling?" Miaka asked and I looked away. I can't tell anyone about Germany yet. The semester will only begin by Fall so I still have time to consider the option. Before I decide, I don't want anyone to give me their opinions. I am always easy to assuage.

"I don't know if I should go to Todai, Miaka," I told her, not lying but not telling the truth either. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me with a quizzical expression.

"Eh?"

"Let's not talk about it," I added before she can say anything more.

The door of the café opened and a familiar brooding figure emerged, catching both Miaka and I's attention. Our eyes met and Tokiya smiled thinly; I felt my insides flutter with the act. Miaka nudged me and I looked down, picking up a notebook and pen to get his order. I'm sure my friend here would not get it from him and besides, I wanted to approach him. No, I was not in any flirty mood today. It's just… being with Tokiya always makes me happy. And after the news from Germany, I wanted to be with him more.

"What will you have?" I asked softly after I approached his table. His gaze never left me and I don't know what to make of it. After the incident in the beach a week ago, we had been friendly to each other for some unexplainable reason.

"Double shot espresso and a brownie," he told me, smiling. I bit my lip as I scribbled his order, smiling back.

"Lunch?"

"Yeah," he answered in that deep guttural voice that made my knees weak. I looked intently at the notebook, trying my best to not meet his gaze.

"You should eat a decent meal. Should I get beef steak for you?" I asked, my cheeks burning. I assumed he like the meal, it was a wild guess. Maybe it was a bad idea to be too forward but then—

"You have time for lunch?" he asked and I looked up, surprised. I couldn't speak. Was he asking me out? He noticed my surprise and cleared his throat. "It's on me," he added and I felt warm from my toes to the tips of my hair. I couldn't breathe.

"I always get free lunch here," I answered, laughing to stop myself from giving myself a heart burn. It was crazy how just one simple invitation made me extremely happy. Tokiya was still looking at me, waiting for an answer. I smiled and looked away. "Well…I'll have a break in fifteen minutes," I told him softly. He laughed, a real heartfelt laugh, not the ones he used to tease me with.

"I'll wait."

I nodded and turned around, scribbling the other order for the cook. I headed straight to the kitchen to release the overwhelming emotion that filled me with our brief encounter and Miaka immediately followed, leaving the cashier table bare. She immediately went to me, smiling wide.

"What did he say?"

"He wants to eat lunch together," I whispered and Miaka squealed. I laughed and I immediately covered my face afterward, it was tremendously warm. When I looked up, Miaka was still giggling. "Is it okay?"

"Of course its okay! I might meet Taka in awhile. He's dropping by for lunch," "Sooo… What's the real score between you and Tokiya-san?" Miaka asked and I flushed. I shook my shoulders and tried to compose myself.

"I don't know… We never talked about it."

"This sudden invitation is very fishy…" Miaka stated and I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "He entered the coffee shop, smiling and then asked you for lunch."

"What do you mean?" I asked, eager to know what's on Miaka's mind. She was knowledgeable on love after all, while I'm still as clueless as the day I was born. Miaka moved closer and whispered on my ear.

"I feel a confession coming," she stated and felt like I was doused with hot water. I blinked. What?

* * *

THIS WAS THE PERFECT LUNCH. I never noticed the steak, never noticed how many people came in; all that matters was that she was beside me, eating her lunch of grilled hamburger and sunny side up. It was one of her favorites, she told me matter-of-factly when she finally came to my table bringing our food for today. Fifteen minutes, I realized, was a tad too long.

She was beautiful. Of course I know that even beforehand, but I can't help but repeat it in my head over and over and over and over, like a broken record that played the same lines of the same song repeatedly.

We didn't talk much while we eat and it was not surprising since this was technically the first time we're together and we're not fighting. She seemed too engrossed with her meal too, not looking at any other way but her plate. I had the opportunity to start a conversation when we finished, when Miaka brought us two ice creams, strawberry and dark chocolate. Her face brightened and she slowly took the pink-colored sweets. And then, miraculously, she finally turned to me.

"I ordered them earlier," I told her, noticing the blush on her cheeks. "I thought you might like something cold in this heat," I added, saying more than necessary. I simply don't want her to misunderstand.

"You shouldn't have," she whispered, scooping the ice cream and putting a small piece in her mouth. The smile widened, that's a plus point for me.

"I… just want to treat you, is all."

"Why is that?" she asked, turning to look at me. I moved some stray hair from her face behind her ears, and intentionally moving the tips of my fingers over the curve of her ear. I still wanted to bite it, and the want never ceased all this time.

"For keeping me company at the beach party with the monkeys," I said, placing my elbow on the table and leaning on my right palm. I smiled as I watched her. "I had fun," I added, again, in case she misunderstand.

"I enjoyed it too. Thank you," she said, looking down and refusing to meet my gaze. I laughed lightly at her shy demeanor.

"We should do it again… _that_ game." She turned to me with brows creased.

"No…" she whispered, flushed. "You defeated me in _that_ game," she added, pouting a little. It was apparent that she hated losing; the realization made me laugh louder. She was an amusing girl.

"You're beautiful…" I said softly and I saw the way the tips of her ears reddened. She looked down and bit her lip, smiling.

"Thank you," she whispered, still focusing on her ice cream.

"May I take you home tonight?" I asked softly. She eyed me from the sides of his eyes. "I never got to do that and… I won't be late, I'll come on time—"

"Okay. I'll wait for you," she cut me, turning to my direction. She reached a hand toward my lips and brushed away the remains of lunch at the sides of my mouth. I wanted to lick her lips clean.

"Have you enrolled in Todai?" I groaned, diverting the topic. Or else I might do something aggressive or indecent in front of the world, like say, kissing her. How I'd love to lean down to do so.

I looked away, turning my attention on the counter where her brunette friend was ogling at them. Miaka turned away and I smiled. I wondered, does Yui talk about me? What does she usually say? What does she think of me? I wanted to ask her numerous questions but I guess there are other opportunities for that. I have to take things slow now. I have to be a good boy if I want her attention.

"Not yet…"

"I'm not busy—I can accompany you if you like," I told her, smiling.

I'll grab any opportunity to be with her. I have a strong feeling that if this goes on, she'll let me be her boyfriend. And if that happened, well, I haven't thought about what will happen once we become a couple yet. I smiled wider. Just what would happen once we enter a relationship? I wondered if I get to spend more lunches with her or if she'll let me snuggle to her or hold her hand. A soft hand palmed my face and I turned to her, she was laughing lightly.

"You're spacing out," she noted and I felt my cheeks brightened. This was crazy—How can I think of her while hanging out with her? "I guess I'm a bore."

"It's not what you think—You're not boring—I'm—"

She laughed louder and smiled sweetly at my direction. Our eyes met, she was the loveliest thing in the world. I slowly intertwined our fingers together and pulled her hand to plant a soft kiss on her cold fingers. I wanted to warm them with my mouth, hoping against hope it will also warm her heart and she'll choose me. Over the thousand other men who wanted her attention, I wanted her to see just me.

She gasped when I kissed her hand and yanked it away, to my surprise. She took the plates on the table and stood up, leaving me surprised and clueless. I followed her with my gaze and I saw the way her face whitened, as if a sudden realization hit her and she realized too late that eating with me was a mistake. A pang made its way across my heart. Does Yui hate me?

My phone ruined my venomous thoughts when it rang and good Lord, I was thankful it came at the right time. I saw Yanagi's number and answered it. Yui had not returned from the kitchen. "Moshi-moshi," I greeted.

"Tokiya! You wouldn't believe it!" she screamed and I winced. Yui approached my table again, bringing me the bill. I wanted to talk to her but the phonecall, I realized, came at a bad time.

"Yanagi—What?" I missed her wrist and she walked away. My jaws clenched as I pulled a yen from my pocket.

"Yui passed this German med school! Has she enrolled in Todai yet?" What? I wanted to ask but I never found the words. Yui was leaving Japan?

"How did you know?" I asked lamely as the truth sank in me.

She's leaving Japan. There was no mistake; she made up her mind. She's leaving in a few months, no, she might even leave earlier. No wonder she was suddenly friendly, no wonder she suddenly moved away. I clutched the phone in my hand, hoping the heavy hand that clutched my heart would disappear. Alas, it stayed that way, the heaviness filling me.

"It's posted online, my cousin tried the exams too and she asked me to look for his name-that's when I saw Yui's name," Yanagi explained.

"Look Yanagi, I don't care what she wants to do. I'm leaving. Bye," I told her, canceling the phone and instinctively walking toward the cashier with my bill. Yui looked away as Miaka gave me my receipt.

"You're leaving for Germany?" I asked, eyeing her intently. Miaka gasped but I don't have the patience to give her attention. My stares never wavered but Yui kept on looking away. Why does she have to be this hard to deal with? Why was she this hard to understand?

"I haven't made up my mind yet," she answered, still looking away. Damn it, I wanted to cup her face so she'll look at me. This was making me lose my temper.

"You should go," I told her, a little too harshly. She finally turned and I swallowed hard.

"I'll think about it."

"You're wasting time thinking about it. If you want something, you should just do it," I said. Does she want to go? Thunder erupted from the skies outside and a downpour immediately came, drenching the world outside in white mists. Yui's body trembled at the sound. Luckily, the thunder never repeated.

"I don't need your advice," she sneered when she has calmed down. I smirked and shook my shoulders, looking away, walking away.

Without another word, I stepped out of the restaurant and into the rain. I was immediately drenched from head to foot but I don't give a damn. I was stupid to hope, to make up all these possibilities in my head. Boyfriend? Who was I fooling? I was never the boyfriend material; Yuri pointed it out the day she broke up with me last year. And Yui… Yui will never look at me that way. Heck, I don't even know what she thinks of me to begin with. Right now, I don't really care.

A hand grabbed me and when I turned, found her eyeing me intently. She was wet from the rain too, her hair splayed across the face that was always too beautiful for my sanity. She was angry and if it were a perfectly dry weather, I could tell she was crying—or close to one.

"Why do you want me to go?" she screamed, her voice breaking in an unpleasant shrill that unconsciously tells me: You made me cry. "Do you hate me?"

I was taken aback. Hate? I turned away, trying to hide my surprise. "Go away," I told her in a harsh emotionless tone. Yui clutched my arm again. This time, she didn't pull me back, she simply wanted me to stay. I turned to her and pushed her hand away. I pulled her neck closer. "Damn it, Yui—Do you want to get sick?"

"I love you…" she whispered, very softly, in the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. She gasped and horror sketched over her face. She covered her mouth and turned away, surprised at what she said.

"Where do you think you're going?" I screamed, pulling her back. She struggled but I wrapped an arm around her waist and turned her around, cupping her face.

"Let go—"

"Be responsible!" I told her. I was angry, damn it. "You think it's just like that?" I forced her to look my way but she kept on evading me. "Look at me," I said sternly but that stubborn girl closed her eyes, pushing me away.

"No—"

I stopped her by leaning down to plant a kiss on her lips, moving it gently, not daring to get too forward. A soft kiss, like a first kiss of sorts. I tasted the rain—we both did—as it continued to pour on us. She stopped struggling and when I opened my eyes I saw her flush. My eyes softened and I smiled at her troubled and surprised face. My heart was beating continuously, in beats that rivaled the deluge. I smiled wider, eyeing her intently.

"And I love you, Yui. I love you," I whispered very softly, slowly. I wanted her to hear it clearly, I don't want her to misunderstand. Her beautiful blue eyes widened and I leaned down for another kiss, a kiss that lasted god-knows-how-long, under the rain, on that blissful summer day.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Whew, that's it for this chapter. I'm more excited for next chapter because I can't stop thinking about it. Haha. Thanks for reading and please do leave reviews._


	12. Chapter 12

_I'm really excited to write this chapter because there's lemon (or lime) here! Hahahahaha! For the longest time, I hated writing lemony chappies because of __**Eien no Monogatari**__, which has lemon almost every chapter. Haha. On the other hand, Happy Easter everybody! :D_

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ Oooohhh. You're wild guess might come true so be careful what you wish for. Haha._

_**Itgirl18:**__ Hahaha. No need to kneel and beg, I'm updating this fiction twice a week. My target days are Wednesdays and Sundays._

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Well, if you're thinking what I'm thinking then our thinking just might be what Yui and Tokiya are thinking. Haha._

_**Disclaimer:**__ Fushigi Yugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

By Slavedriver2008

* * *

I'M WEARING HIS SHIRT. A dark blue cotton shirt he loaned me after that passionate kiss under the rain. My cheeks burned at the memory of what happened barely an hour ago. Tokiya loves me, he even said it twice. I covered my face; I still can't believe he loves me and that I allowed myself to be pulled into his apartment.

"We're drenched," he stated matter-of-factly. "You'll get sick if this continues," he added and I felt warm all over. He cared too much for me and everytime he shows it, my heart constricts.

He offered his shower but I refused. He was a man, a single college man while I'm a girl. No matter how I looked at it, taking a bath at his place was not very decent. Since I refused, he told me he'll take a quick bath to wash away the rain in his body. I simply nodded, what else could I do? If he doesn't take a bath soon, he might get sick. He did give me this shirt to change into and since he stepped into the bathroom, I entertained myself by watching the rain from his window. I sneezed and sniffed. Maybe not taking a bath was a bad idea after all.

"It stopped raining," he noted as he stepped out of the shower. I turned to him, surprised. "Don't go just yet…" I smiled then looked back at the window. The rain was starting to die down and the scent of the clean clean world lingered under my nostrils.

"Miaka needs me. I might lose my job if I stay," I said softly. I must have already lost it, running away without even telling my boss and Miaka where I'm off to. Also, I didn't even finish my duty for the day. I don't know if the thought was good, but it was better than thinking about Tokiya standing behind in nothing but a towel.

"At least wait until your clothes dry up," he said. When I turned, he was already dressed in a white shirt and denim jeans to my relief. He was busy toying with his camera and I smiled, he looked just like a little boy.

He looked up and a smile slowly crept through his lips. He placed the camera on the table and walked toward my direction. Strong long arms wrapped around me and I giggled when he squeezed me, placing his head at the back of my neck, leaning completely to me. My heart was giving me a heart attack and I told myself to get used to this, to him. The embraces I had in the past were never this warm or probably, I was looking into our closeness too much.

"You love me…"

"Well, you love me too…" I whispered, giggling. Without another word, he carried me to the bed and the next thing I know, we were lying beside each other, face inches apart. I saw myself reflected in his cloudy eyes. He placed a finger on my lips and warmth spread through every part of my face. My heart was pumping loud and I was momentarily afraid he'll hear it. "You planned this."

"No…" he said matter-of-factly. I closed my eyes when he brushed the tips of his fingers on my cheek. It was cool and the feathery touch caused a shiver up my spine. My breath hitched and I released a bundle of breath I've been holding since he pulled me to the bed. "I'm not doing anything," he whispered, looking at me in the softest way he can. "I wanted to… But you don't want it…"

He smiled, slowly. He moved his hand to cup my waist, sliding it down to pull me closer to him. My wretched body followed, the tips of our noses touching. His breath was warm on my skin and the beating of his heart at my fingertips was becoming erratic. He slowly wrapped his hand on mine and the sensation caused a lump on my throat.

I pushed him away but he remained still, lying stoic beside me. He clasped my hand and placed my palm on his heart. He stared deep into my eyes, probing, telling me something I never knew, or something I knew but refuse to acknowledge for the longest time.

"Stop this," I whimpered, my voice breaking.

"I can't," he answered softly. "You're causing…. _this_…" He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. When he opened them again, I was scared of the determination I found in them. Slowly, he pulled my hand and planted kisses on it, the way he did so in the restaurant. The act made me flush.

"Tokiya…"

I moved my fingers on his face and he stilled. I wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to whisper everything I feel. I wanted to be this close. Seiryuu knew how I wished for this, during the festival, while he followed me. But no, I needed to stop. If I continue, he'll move closer, he'll kiss me. He'll… touch me and I'll let him. No, I can't handle this right now.

"I need you," he whispered in a deep voice, looking intently. "I love you and I need you, pathetic isn't it?" he asked, laughing lightly, almost painfully. I cupped his face and reached up to plant a soft kiss on his mouth, a kiss that made my heart flutter. I can't handle being this close to him but everything in me wanted this proximity.

"I need you too," I whispered, my voice breaking. I can't lie anymore, not to him, not to myself. What Tokiya wanted, I wanted just as much. His gray-blue eyes widened and desire flood his stormy eyes. He closed them, breathing hard. He was controlling himself and I laughed lightly at his reaction. When he opened his eyes again, his forehead was touching mine.

"Yui—"

"Please…?" I cut him, not knowing what exact words to say that would fit in our situation. The only thing I wanted, I realized as I looked into his eyes, was to be loved by him. Was that too much to ask?

His eyes softened and he slowly leaned down to capture my lips for a kiss, another soft feathery kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and responded as the kiss went deeper and deeper until he moved away to catch some air. Then he kissed me again, this time, it was a passionate one and I moaned and arched to him as our tongues lapped together, my fingers clutching the hair at the back of his head.

Tokiya's hands roamed over the dark shirt and gently unbuttoned it as his mouth slowly left mine to travel down my neck. I shivered and shut my eyes, focusing on the fiery movements of his mouth on my skin and the thousand other sensations that traveled through my body as he explored my flesh. I gasped when a cold hand cupped the sensitive spot between my legs, circling a certain nib underneath the underwear. I clutched his shoulders and I was only able to breathe properly when his hand moved up to part the shirt and expose me to his beautiful prying eyes.

My face brightened when he stopped nuzzling my neck to look at me, his hands moving toward my waist, until it finally went underneath to finger my spine. I arched to him, trying my best to stop the noises that came from my mouth. In a flick of a finger he had unhooked my bra and I looked away when he finally took the shirt and the undergarment off me. He hastily pulled his shirt off too and returned his attention on my body.

"Beautiful…" he whispered and I pulled his head up to meet his gaze, humiliated.

"Stop it," I whimpered and he laughed before kissing me again in that same passionate manner. A hand cupped my breast, squeezing the hardened tip between cold fingers. I moaned in his mouth, a sound that he easily devoured.

I moved my hands on his back, touching him, memorizing the hard planes of his muscular body as I arched and unconsciously beg for the heat only he can provide at that moment. The wind blew inside the room but we burned the more we moved together and I shivered, not from the cold, but from the amazing unexplainable sensations he created with his fingers. I moved my hands over his body, down his waist to line his jeans. I wanted to do something for him, anything. It was unfair that I was the only one who was doing all these noises. I reached the bulk between his legs and he groaned in my mouth, immediately pulling my hands and placing them at both sides of my head.

"No, Yui—"

"I want to touch you too… I…" I told him in uneven breathing. "Let me touch you… please…" I said in the softest voice I can muster in my breathless state.

"It can't be helped. Virgins are always hard to reason with," he said and I pouted. He laughed at my reaction, planting kisses on my cheeks. "Love… my stomach hurts and I'm hard, _very_ hard. I'm desperately trying to hold back," he whispered and my cheeks brightened. "If you touch me, I might go rough. I don't want to hurt you excessively… not this time," he added and I sighed.

"So unfair…" He laughed and kissed me again, another soft but deep kiss.

"On our third time, I'll go rough. But on our first—_this_—I'll go slow… very slow…" he whispered in a heavy voice before leaning down to put a hardened breast into his warm soft mouth.

* * *

HER BODY WAS PARADISE. And Yui was a goddess personified. I wanted to remember every part of her, every nook, every crevice, I wanted to memorize like the back of my hand. Everything in her was perfect, the curves, the skin, even the throaty voice as she called my name repeatedly. I wanted her to make all those beautiful sounds, I wanted her to scream my name as I pleasure her in ways she never knew.

Sex was always overwhelming for virgins, he knew that for a fact. Right now, he doesn't want to disappoint her. He wanted her to taste all these wonderful sensations, all these nerve-wracking feelings as I tease, nip, bite every part of her beautiful body. He wanted her to come multiple times before he finally give in to the unbearable pain in his abdomen.

It was not everyday that they do things for the first time and nothing—absolutely nothing—was comparable to this. Hadn't he gave it a long thought while taking a shower earlier? He wanted to take things slow, make this moment as memorable as possible. He initially didn't plan to have sex with her. What he wanted was a little cuddling with some kissing thrown in. But now that it had come to this, he wanted to give the best performance.

He gave her breast a small bite before climbing up to capture her lips for another kiss. "Oh Yui…" She responded passionately, embracing me tight, our bodies moving together on the bed. "I love you," I whimpered in-between kisses.

Before I could control myself, I was moving my hips on hers, my hardness brushing harshly over hers. Her moans became louder and I tried to control myself. No, not yet. I need to… stop, for now. I pushed her hips down and placed my hands between us, fingering the damp spot in the only clothing she had. I pushed my finger in and she arched back.

"To—Tokiya!" I bit her lobe and moved my tongue along the curve of her ear. My fingers moved up, knowingly, to that sensitive nib that will drive her over the edge. She whimpered when I rubbed it over the cloth, her nails digging on my shoulders. "Gods…"

"Yui…" I groaned in her ear. "Don't worry… Even if you overflow, I'll drink you," I whispered in heavy breathing. Her face brightened and I felt her ears became warm. It was time.

I can't hold on much. I needed her, desperately needed her. I unbuttoned my jeans and hastily took it off me, releasing me from the hard cloth. I moved my lips between the valley of her breasts, her body arching to follow my mouth. Down, down I went until her scent was close to me, my mouth, her legs parted for me. I'll make her come before I claim her. Because if I just go inside her, the only thing she'll remember was the pain.

"NO—STOP!" she screamed, a loud scream that seemed to take all her willpower. I looked up and saw her flustered face.

"Yui?"

"Stop… please…" she said, beggin. I moved up to cup her face, she was trembling. "I'm melting away… I'm falling apart… If you continue—"

"Don't worry…" I responded, planting kisses on her face. "I'll hold you, I'll hold you tight so you won't fall apart…" I brushed away the tears at the sides of her eyes. She was adorable. "But I want you… I want you to melt for me," I crooned, meeting her gaze.

"Tokiya…"

"I won't leave you… I'll stay, I'll hold you… Please?" I asked, very softly. She nodded and I laughed lightly as I returned to the spot between her legs, leaving feathery kisses on her abdomen before reaching the cloth. "I'm yours, Yui, all yours. Let me make you mine," I told her, moving my nose over her womanhood. I placed my hands on her hips, gently pulling down her underwear.

"THAT IS SOOO SWEET!" a shrill voice ruined my thoughts and we both turned to find Yuri standing at the foot of the bed, her hands on her hips, still wearing that dark lingerie. Yui immediately covered her chest, moving away and I shielded her from the intruder's prying eyes. "You 're even going down on her! Is she better than me?"

"YURI—"

"Who are you?" Yui asked, eyes still wide with surprise. She pulled a pillow from the bed and covered herself. It didn't help, of course, Yuri had seen us. I was too engrossed with Yui to notice she entered my apartment.

"I'M THE GIRL TOKIYA LOVES! HE'S JUST SLEEPING WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ME!" she screamed and my anger rose.

"DAMN IT—STOP THIS!" I stood up from the bed and grabbed her elbow. "What is this shit? What are you doing here?" I pulled her from the bedroom and into the living room, away from Yui. Damn it, how dare this woman ruin the moment I've waited for such a long time?

"Don't leave me, Tokiya. Please don't leave me!" she answered, crying. She embraced me tight and wouldn't let go even if I pulled her away. "I was wrong—I love you. You love me! I'm the only woman you love and with or without that woman, you still love me! I want a relationship—"

"It's too late for that…" I told her, sighing. I clutched my head, willing her presence to disappear. I just want to return to the bedroom and god knows what I needed to do after this incident.

"I'm sorry for last year. I didn't know how much I need you after you left me…" Yuri said, still crying on my chest. "Choose me—Choose me again! Don't fall in love with someone else!"

Silence came and I don't know what to say. Her cries were the only things I can hear, and the pounding of my heart as I think about the current situation. It was the first time she cried for me and something in my heart constricted because of that. This woman, I loved this woman even after she left me. And yet… My bedroom door opened and Yui stepped out, wearing damp clothes.

"Yui—"

"I'm leaving—Thank you for the hospitality," she answered me, heading for the door to put on her shoes. I pushed Yuri away and ran to stop her.

"Wait—" I grabbed her elbow before she opened the door and made her face me. "I mean it, I meant everything I said—I love you," I said in a panicked voice. It came too loud but unlike the first time I told her that, she simply smiled sadly.

"I'm choosing Germany," she whispered, her blue eyes filled with loneliness and another emotion I could not decipher. "I'm sorry I lead you on. _This_ shouldn't have happened," she stated, pulling her arms away from mine and turning to open the door. I shut it with my hand, leaning to her. The cold hand grabbed my heart again, squeezing it very very hard.

"Damn it…" I whimpered, biting my lip. "I told you to be responsible—"

"I am being responsible!" she screamed, her voice breaking. She turned the knob and sighed. "I'm bad for you and you're bad for me," she said, finally. "Even if we try, this would never work out. Sayonara."

She opened the door and let her. I stood at that same place after she left, waited, hoped she'd open the door again and tell me how stupid she was for walking out on me. But the door never moved again.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Oh no, they're not together again! I wonder what will happen next. Haha. :D I decided to put this up because I realized that I will be delayed with the ending of this fiction, especially since I only have a week for 3 more chapters. Happy reading!_


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm very sorry for the delay. I had a few days vacation to Bangkok and never had the time for updates. Anyway, I hope you'll all like this chapter. In this chapter, you'll hear Yui's thoughts about everything—and yeah, she was so close to becoming crazy here. Haha._

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Oh yeah, that scene was somehow similar with Ami from __**Eien no Monogatari**__. I never intended it to be the same, though. The past chapter was the main reason I wrote this fic. Haha._

_**ThePinkMartini:** Indeed, she ruined the moment! :)_

_**Itgirl18:** Yeah, too bad Tokiya hooked himself with the wrong girl before he met Yui! :(_

_**Disclaimer: **__Fushigi Yugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

By Slavedriver2008

* * *

I HATE SUMMERS. It was always scorching and humid. Every now and then, the monsoon arrives to bring drizzles and typhoons. Summers are always on the extreme—too hot, too wet, too spontaneous, too unpredictable. Summer is the season of the god of the South, Miaka's god. I never liked this season and the fact that the god of love ruled it made this all the more unappealing.

I stood up from bed and washed my face. My eyes were still swollen and my head throbbed among other things. Sleep did not come faster these past few weeks, after we stopped seeing each other. I should get used to not seeing him, to not being able to hear his voice, see his smile. I stopped working in the café and simply stopped going to the place where I'll likely see him. I was always good at avoiding people, pushing them away until they realize they don't need me to begin with.

Tokiya was just a fling, someone to forget once this season ends. He was never more than that. It was funny how, I expected so much from him. Just because he triggers all these wonderful unexplainable feelings within me. Feelings I felt once upon a time. The downside, I realized, was that he made me realize too how god-forsaken my current existence was. That no matter what I do, I will never be able to become the same person I was.

"Damn it," I cursed after I opened my empty bottle of medicine. "Why do you have to be empty when I need you?" I screamed, throwing it away. It hit the wall and it immediately broke into pieces. Like me, I was broken beyond repair.

I hastily took a hoodie and got my keys. Without another word, I left the apartment bringing nothing but my wallet and my phone. There was only one place to get those medicines, one place that could spare me from this depression. I rushed to the clinic, not because I can't handle this feeling anymore but because I need those medicines. Seiryuu knows how I need them.

I arrived at the clinic in less time. The attending nurse was not around and I assumed it was because she went on a holiday, a week break since it's the season for those types of things. I knocked on the door and immediately opened it, not waiting for my doctor to call out. He was sitting on his usual desk, reading. I knew he doesn't have anything planned out for the day because he managed to read a book so casually. Dr Miyagi looked up and he raised an eyebrow once he found me on the door.

"Oh Yui, did you have an appointment?" he asked, putting the book down and standing up to meet me. I shook my head profusely. He smiled, he knew why I came. "Come in, I'm not expecting anyone today."

"I'm sorry I just barged in," I told him, walking inside the clinic as he ushered me toward the consultation room. He motioned for me to sit and I did, putting my hands inside the pockets of my hoodie. I fingered an old scar on my wrist. If worse comes to worst, I still have _that_ to look forward to.

"It's fine. What's the problem?" he asked. He took the seat across me and smiled, a fake smile, ones that he usually gives stubborn clients. The thought made me want to laugh until I die laughing. Yes, I was a stubborn patient.

"I ran out of medicines," I stated matter-of-factly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As expected, he raised an eyebrow.

"I can't give you prescription anymore," he said, eyeing me intently. "I told you, you're not sick. If you continue to drink meds, you'll be dependent."

"I need it," I told him, smiling painfully. He knew my condition. Of all the psychiatrists I visited, he was the only one who understood, who knew how deep I was in this shit. And right now, I expect him to understand how troublesome it was to not have those pills with me.

"What you need is to face your fears," he said in that monotonous doctor-like tone. I shook my head profusely.

"I don't know what I'm afraid of," I squeaked, not meaning him to hear. But he heard it of course. This room was designed for him to hear even all the smallest things I mutter. I hated this room. And if I had a choice, I would never have visited.

"Love," he stated and I covered my face. This was the same bullshit again. I hated hearing his sermons. There he goes again, thinking he knows what I'm going through. "You're afraid to fall in love again, you're afraid to love someone, you're afraid you'll feel the joy of loving someone," he said.

"I need the medicines… please…" I looked up to him, my face in pain. I really really need those meds, I wanted to add. Without it, I'll go crazy. Right now, I'm going crazy. I wanted to stop thinking of him, to stop my heart from constricting everytime it rains and I remember his long flowing blue locks. I just wanted to stop. And the medicines… I needed it more than anything. It was my life.

"You're just taking the medicines because you want to _feel_ the pain," he clarified and I winced, looking away. Tears beaded my eyes and it stung. It didn't help that I've been crying non-stop every night for weeks.

"Please…"

"Because it makes you feel that you are in pain. If I give you a prescription, you will never get healed."

"Please… please… I need it…" I cried, begging him to give in. He was never this stubborn before and the thought of not getting his prescriptions scared me. I was not afraid of not drinking those pills but of what I'll do without it.

"Yui…"

"If you don't give me prescriptions, I don't know what—what I'll do to feel _that_ pain!" I screamed, in pain. I looked up to him, eyeing him intently. "I've done _it_ once, doctor, please don't let me do _it_ again." He knew what I meant, what I'm capable of doing to myself. I hated myself for being this vulnerable but there was no other way. I must have looked pitiful because he eventually looked down and sighed.

"Okay, I will give you a prescription. This will last you for a week."

"Thank you," I mumbled, smiling wide. I wiped my tears and laughed lightly. I was relieved, very relieved. A week is enough for now, I'll solve this medication problem once I'm in Berlin.

"You have to promise me that you'll come back when this runs out and you'll cooperate. Do you understand?" he asked and I nodded vigorously.

"Hai, I'll come back, Doctor," I stammered, wiping my tears.

I smiled sadly. I'll never come back for those sessions. He'll never see me again. Somehow, the thought gave me a light feeling. Soon, I will be leaving everything behind. Maybe when I'm away, I'll stop thinking of him and what we had—what we didn't have. Maybe then, I'll feel better. Maybe I'll finally be cured.

* * *

I NEED TOKIYA. The more I deny needing him, the more these reasons appear until I have a hundred thousand reasons why I need him. I wanted to bang my head on a wall. Damn this heart for betraying me. We promised never to fall again, never to give the spot only Nakago occupied for the longest time. I'm supposed to wait for him, I'm supposed to give him the license to hurt me, to touch me, to make me feel loved. I even reserved him the right to betray me, to break me painfully. Nakago, why didn't you come? Why did you let me fall in love with someone else?

I passed by the park where the hydrangeas are still in full bloom. He would always sit around here, holding his camera. I can see him from the café windows. I resisted the urge to walk in and look for him. Why do I have to feel this desperate? So what if I hadn't seen him for weeks? So what?

The bottle of medicine clinked inside my pocket. I managed to buy a whole bottle despite my limited prescription. Maybe I simply needed to rush home and drink these. Maybe I'll drink more than what I'm supposed to. Maybe I should drink all of them. I cursed aloud. No, Yui, don't kill yourself. Nakago will come for you. He's in Berlin, he's waiting.

Tokiya? Who cares about Tokiya. You'll leave him behind. He'll forget about you, maybe he'd forgotten you by now. My heart constricted. Would he really forget me this soon? Was I really just a fling for him? I wanted to sit down on the pavement and cry. It hurts, it hurts a lot. Why do I have to think of all these things before I leave?

"Yui!" a female voice called me and when I turned, saw Yanagi. She was walking beside Fuuko and I tried to smile in response. My heart was still aching and I clutched the bottle harder. They walked toward me and I looked away. I needed to get away from them. He might be somewhere nearby. "Did you and Tokiya fight again?" she asked, leaning closer to give me those intense stares I was never comfortable with.

"It's none of your business," I snapped, looking away.

Tokiya, Tokiya, Tokiya. Why does it have to involve Tokiya every now and then? I wanted to stop thinking of him, to stop conjuring up images of his handsome face in my head. He was not good for me, like Tamahome and Tetsuya, like Nakago and Shin jin ten chi sho. Seiryuu, why are you too mean to me? Why do you have to rub him harder in my heart, in that spot where it constantly hurts?

"Yui?"

"Why do you keep pairing me up with that jerk?" I asked, sarcastically shaking my head. Fuuko raised an eyebrow and I saw the anger that filled her face.

"What the—"

"If you're going to find me a boyfriend, at least find someone who's not such an ass, someone who'll take me seriously—" A hard heavy slap landed on my face and I fell on the pavement, the bottles rolled out of my pockets and away from my grasp. I should have reached for them but the fact that I was slapped—hard—by someone I hardly knew made me angry.

"You're being the ass!" Fuuko screamed. I stood up, eyeing her angrily. "Mi-chan is serious about you! And you dare call him a jerk? If you aren't such a bitch, you'll see how much he loves you—"

"Fuuko, stop!" Yanagi screamed, coming between us. Fuuko kept on walking toward me to push my shoulders. It pisses me off.

"I'll call him the way I want to!" I answered. Yanagi pulled Fuuko away. I was heaving. "You don't have any right to judge me—"

"Yeah?" Fuuko reached for my hair and slapped it away. She wanted a fight and I was not about to give her the opportunity to win. "You think you can hurt our friend just because you're so pretty?" She pushed my shoulders again.

"Fuuko—stop!"

"You think you can play around just because he's head over heels for you?" She pulled my hair and Yanagi screamed again. I slapped her hand away, tears falling from my eyes. "How many men have you played with, huh?"

"I never played with him—I LOVE HIM!" I screamed, unable to control myself any longer. I love him, damn I love him. If only I could tell him so… If only I don't have to keep these feelings to myself. If only, I'm perfect.

"Yui…"

"Then why…?" Fuuko asked, eyeing me intently.

"I'm defective," I answered, looking away. It was the truth. It was pathetic how I have to tell his friends about my personal problems. It was crazy but I couldn't stop myself. I was not in my best state today to begin with. "I don't deserve him. I'll just ruin him, hurt him—I'm leaving him behind. He deserves a better woman. The one for him was the _me_ three years ago… So my feelings… it doesn't matter…"

"Stupid," a deep smooth voice muttered and my eyes widened when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me to a broad familiar chest. Yanagi gasped and Fuuko smirked. "I never met you three years ago so don't decide for me," he whispered, his voice very close to my ear. A lump formed on my throat and tears beaded my eyes. I looked down.

"You…"

"I love this woman, this wonderful woman who always turns me down," Tokiya cooed softly and I covered my mouth, stopping myself from crying. "Even if you leave, I'll still feel this way… so while you're here in Japan… at least let's be happy together…"

I don't want to turn, to look up and meet his cloudy blue eyes. I don't want to see another gentle understanding smile. I wanted to disappear. If he wasn't holding me tight, I would have run. After weeks of not seeing him, of trying hard to forget the wonderful wonderful feeling of being this close, the impact of him standing behind me hit me like a hurricane.

Tokiya embraced me tighter and I immediately raised my hands to hide my face, sobbing. The tears came, poured, and I tried to stop them. But like the unpredictable summer rains that never ceased, they left me, doused me until I can only depend on his arms for comfort. I hated myself for being this vulnerable, for being this emotional in front of his friends, in front of him. Showing my emotions was the last I wanted… But right now, with his arms around me, this was the only thing I could do.

"You're so annoying," I stifled, my voice breaking. I was crying like a kid and if I could rewind this moment, I would have struggled away from him. A light laugh left him as he leaned on the side of my head, covering me from being seen by people who passed around us. He knew it would humiliate me, to be seen crying on the streets.

"You like that in me," he muttered and before I knew it, Tokiya turned me around and covered me for a tighter embrace, cupping my head to the crook of his neck.

I hid in his arms, relishing the heady masculine aroma of musk. He continuously whispered words only I can hear, words that only the two of us knew. The truth was this: If summers meant being in his arms and feeling this ecstatic within an embrace, then I could love this season. Funny, I think I already do.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Okay, so there were last minute changes with the events in this chapter. I ended up putting two chappies together. Haha. The next chapter will be in Tokiya's perspective, as planned, but there will be additional bittersweet stuff between them before the finale. Thanks for reading!_


	14. Chapter 14

_I initially planned the whole "I never met you three years ago…" part for this chapter, with Tokiya talking to her with doors closed. But I realized it'll be stretching the emotions too much so I decided to end the previous chapter in a happy way. _

_**ThePinkMartini:**__ I hope Tokiya's perspective wouldn't disappoint. :D_

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Well, compared to the previous chapter, there will be more Yui-Tokiya moments here. Haha. I hope this one doesn't catch you off guard. _

_**Disclaimer: **__Fushigi Yugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

By Slavedriver2008

* * *

I'M IN LOVE WITH A GODDESS. Every arch of her body, every sweat that beaded her skin, every moan that left her beautiful throat was enough to bring me to surreal depths. With every movement of her finger over my skin I burned like the thousand candles she lit inside me with a kiss. Tonight, as the heavens wash the world of its dirt and grime, we become one, riding the water bed together. Finally.

Her eyes glimmered like emeralds and I indulged in them, watching carefully as it immersed in various emotions—pain, passion, desire, lust, love. Every now and then, she whispered how much she loves me, call my name in-between breathy moans and throaty screams as our pleasure meet and explode like the thousand thunders that whacked the summer skies.

I prided myself with being the only one who had seen her in this state, the only one who can explore the secrets of her beautiful body. I mastered them, owned them until I knew the exact places that drove her over the edge. I even discovered parts she didn't know herself and together, we spent the hours kissing beneath the sheets, over it, straddling, sitting, learning, loving. I love this girl, I love this girl very much.

"I love you…" she mumbled as she planted kisses on my lips. We finally settled down and she lied on top of me after a few rounds of sex. I smiled wider, gliding my hands around her slim waist to finger her spine. She moaned lightly at the contact. "I love you… I love you… I love you…" she repeated and I laughed lightly. "Don't forget—I love you."

"Should we do it again?" I asked in a deep voice. I wanted to do it again, do it repeatedly until I can't barely stand. I wanted to make love to her until the morning, until the rain stops and the sun comes up. More than anything else, I wanted to go inside her—fully inside her.

The heavens know how much I wanted to thrust deeper, how I wanted to the other half of me inside her warm body. But something always stops me. I was afraid to hurt her. I was afraid to see her tears. More than anything else, I was scared that she'll forget those pleasurable rounds once I break her for good. I've never been afraid of going rough on a girl before. Until she gets used to my length, until she learns hot take me in little by little, I won't go all the way. But can I really keep that promise tonight?

"Hmmm…?" she asked in half-lidded eyes.

"You're hinting another round," I teased. Her brows creased and her lips pouted. I saw the blush that spread over her cheeks despite the lack of light inside my room.

"Am not," she mumbled and I laughed. I reached forward to kiss her. She kissed me back. Ah, it was good to be loved back. "Tokiya…"

"Hmmm…?"

"You didn't go rough on me," she said, looking down. I blinked. Am I hearing things right? "You promised to go rough on our third time—we just had our third," she said, still refusing to look up and meet my gaze. She was ashamed to tell me these things and I briefly wondered why she had suddenly become vocal about her what she wanted.

"I can't do that," I stated matter-of-factly, eyeing her intently. She slowly looked up and frowned. The blush on her face had become significantly brighter.

"Why not?"

"I'll hurt you," I said softly, watching the way every part of her face moved. She rolled her eyes.

"I won't get hurt," she said confidently and I answered with a laugh. I cupped her cheek and planted a kiss at the tip of her nose.

"You will."

"I'm not an easy girl to hurt," she answered and I snickered sarcastically. Her face contorted to a frown, an angry frown. Her reactions stirred an old feeling in me and I laughed. She slapped my chest, brows creased. "You always make me angry," she said in a sharp voice. I love that voice.

"You look damn sexy when you're angry," I muttered and she immediately flushed.

Before she could react, I cupped her face and kissed her, a probing kiss. In a heartbeat, I pushed her on her back and I loomed above her, my stomach constricting as I hardened. There's nothing sexier than seeing a girl reveal her fangs. And Yui's angry face, the sharpness in her voice when she's mad—these things always turn me on.

"Wait—Tokiya!" I muffled her protests with my mouth as I slowly penetrated her. She arched back in an effort to move away. "I'm not ready—Ah…"

I stopped when I reached that familiar place, the length I have always penetrated her with. I wanted to push further, to put myself fully inside her. I wanted her warmth to wrap around me, whole and not just half. I cursed in my head, trying to control myself from further going in. Heavy breathing filled my ears and when I opened my eyes to look at her, I saw the pleasure in half-lidded green eyes.

"More…?" I asked, my voice deep. Her cheeks brightened.

"I…" She swallowed hard and eyed me intently. "Baka…"

She closed her eyes and looked away, further spreading her legs apart and slowly raising her hip to let me in further. I cursed aloud and before I could control myself, I thrust forcedly, deeper inside her. A loud groan escaped my throat and I arched back from the wonderful sensation of being fully inside her. Yui screamed, her beautiful face contorted and tears beaded her eyes. I pulled her knees around my hips as I moved deeper, groaning every now and then. Damn, this was… what I've always wanted, to be inside her, to conquer this goddess and make her mine.

Yui's nails dug on my back and I heaved punctuated gasps I tried to stabilize myself. Slowly, I began to thrust. Cries came from her mouth and I tried to not let it affect me. Yui wanted me to go rough. She knew I was not giving her all of me. She wanted me, everything that I can give.

"Yui…" I called her name. "I love you…" I whispered, biting the curve of her ear and moving my tongue in sensual strides over her skin. She moaned softly after a few slow thrusts. I closed my eyes to listen to her voice, it was like angels singing.

"To—Tokiya—" A guttural moan left her when I thrust deeper, when I hit a spot deep inside her. Her legs buckled and I tried to hit that spot again. She arched back on the bed, scratching my back as another deep moan left her mouth.

I went faster, eager to release. I captured her mouth for a deep kiss, swallowing all the moans and calling of names she uttered as I filled her. My stomach hurt like hell, begging me to release my seeds inside her. I winced, holding back. Not yet, not yet. My hand desperately roamed between us and I fingered that nib I used to pleasure with my tongue earlier. Yui arched, throwing her head back as I pumped into her, rough, desperate.

"TOKIYA—TOKIYA!" she screamed as she tightened around me, wonderfully achingly around me. I bit her neck, hard, as I continued to thrust blindly. My hand tightened on her wrist as my release finally came. White blurs blinded my eyes and for a brief second, I thought I saw the heavens, felt it, touched it before everything dissolved into wonderful sensations that traveled through every part of my body.

* * *

TOKIYA, THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU. I crumpled the sheet of paper Yui left on my bedside table. An invisible hand gripped my heart and I tried to make it go away. But it stayed and the more I try to push it away, the tighter it becomes. I threw the sheet in the trash bin and got myself a glass of cold water.

Does she think it was easy? Does she think that I'll forget her that quickly? I labored for weeks, tormented myself to the point of madness. The heavens knew how happy I was when I finally saw her, at the park, fighting with Fuuko. And my happiness overflowed when we finally had our first night together. Did she plan everything? To fuck me senseless the whole night so I won't wake up when she finally leaves?

Did she ever take me seriously?

I placed the empty glass of water and stared outside the window. From above, I can see the park where the hydrangeas glittered after last night's storm. I can almost imagine her running across the park, her skirt billowing with the gusty wind. Then a strong breeze will swept through her, pull her skirt up to expose flawless long legs. That had always been my image of her, a goddess who went down from the heavens after the other gods punished the world below with rain and thunders.

My goddess left me.

"Where is she?" a shrill voice asked and I turned to find Yuri standing on my doorway, smirking sarcastically. "What a nice girlfriend—wouldn't even stay after fucking—"

"SHUT UP!" I growled and she fidgeted.

"Tokiya… Don't get mad at me…" she cooed, walking toward me for an embrace. I pushed her away. "I will never leave you, Tokiya… Never."

"Go away," I said, moving away from her. I'm not in the mood to see anyone right now. Only her. If she comes back, I won't get mad. Maybe she didn't even left. Maybe she just picked up some food somewhere. Maybe she'll come back.

"Tokiya…?"

"I said go away," I stated sternly. I sighed and turned to Yuri. "I need her, Yuri. I don't need anyone else." She was taken aback and it took her awhile before she finally spoke.

"You've fallen really hard for that girl…" she said softly. "It's okay… You'll run back to me before this day ends," she added and left my apartment. I walked to the door and locked it. I don't want her to come back. Maybe I should move out and find a new apartment, somewhere far from the park, from the café, far from everything that have been tainted by her.

I tied my hair in a messy ponytail, pulling a crumpled cigarette from inside one of my shirt pockets. I laughed bitterly. Pathetic. Everything was pathetic. I promised to never fall hard for another girl. Why was it that when women decide to leave someone, that man had to be me? I wondered, do I look too chauvinistic to be taken seriously?

The rain came again, pouring over this already drenched earth. It created tapping sounds on my window, reminding me of tears. As always, I retreated to the dark room and shut the door, willing the sounds to disappear. It continued, tip tapping that reverberated in my head, sounds I never wanted to hear since the day I saw her cry. Damn it, I should forget her before things turn crazy.

I resisted the urge to call Yanagi, to rush out of my room and talk to her brunette friend. Maybe I willed this upon myself. Maybe I wanted Yui to leave me. Shit, I cursed in my head after realizing I said her name out. I learned that the best way to forget things was to never name them. She was nothing but a nameless girl who caught my attention. I threw the burnt cigarette butt on the bin. There goes my third attempt at romance. I should have known beforehand that willing a woman to love me back entailed numerous other things I never understood.

Women were complicated. And it seemed that regardless of who I date, I will never understand how they think and react. Or maybe, I simply associated myself with complicated women. She was my goddess, my muse, my sole source of inspiration, my drive, my passion, my heart. I shook my head at the thought. I should have known better and chose a simple normal girl, someone who would never throw tantrums, who would cook me lunch, cling to me whenever she had the chance. I should have chosen a simple unappealing girl who would love me more than I do her.

My eyes landed on the series of photographs I took of her, in numerous instances I managed to sneak a shot without her consent. It started with that fateful accident. I unconsciously lined the photos, clipping them on the line. On every frame was her face, her beautiful almost heavenly face. What did she have to make me feel this way? Was it the eyes and the tears that reminded me of rain? The thing I hated most in the world? Why do I love her?

"Yui," I muttered under my breath and my eyes stung, probably from the chemicals I use to print her photos. Without me realizing it, my dark room had become her shrine. Her cold blue eyes that were green at night caught my attention, around me, hanging like a teasing moon that will never give me what I wanted most.

I ran out to the living room and kneeled to pick up the trash bin, looking for that crumpled piece of paper that bore my name and words she mentioned repeatedly last night, while we make love, while I look into her eyes, while she lean on my chest, listening to my heart beat, while I move my fingers over her silky hair. _Tokiya, don't forget—I love you…_

When I found it, I hastily spread it open and read it again. I rummaged through my head for a deeper meaning behind everything. I shook my head as an idea propped in my thoughts. No, even if she does love me, the fact that she left would not change. Even if I wait for her all day, she would not come back. Those words, that moment, was only good while it lasted. Our brief summer romance.

I clipped the note at the end of the line, beside the one I took of her while wearing my shirt, watching the rain from the window of my room. I wanted to laugh. Our love story ended with a note, a quick note that bore the words "Thank you" and "I love you" and a smudge created by a dried teardrop on my name.

With the invisible hand still gripping my heart, I started to pull out the photos off the line, one by one.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Thanks for reading this fiction! I'll give you the much-awaited finale in the next chapter! :D _


	15. Chapter 15

_The main inspiration for this fiction was the song __**Thunder**__ by __**Boys Like Girls**__. If you analyze the lyrics, it has that angsty bittersweet tang in it, just like Yui and Tokiya's summer romance. Also, you'll really love this ending. Even I'm getting all giggly just thinking about it. _

_Btw, I just adopted Tokiya in #__**claim-a-bishie**__, a deviantart club. I wanted to claim Nakago but he had been claimed already! So for this year, I own Tokiya and will be doing artworks featuring him. Heehee. ;)_

_**ThePinkMartini: **__Yes, they're really crazy people! Hahaha! I guess it'll be crazier if this was Nakago instead of Tokiya. Haha._

_**LeeRaRa:**__ Yeah, she's such a fickle-minded bitch. But I somehow like that in her. :D_

_**Disclaimer: **__Fushigi Yuugi and Recca no Honou are not mine._

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

By Slavedriver2008

* * *

THUNDER WHACKED THE SKIES. I never loved it but as it continuously caused havoc in the firmament, I repeatedly realized how different I have been and how the sound changed something within me. A few months ago, I would have squirmed wherever I am, crying as it tortured me. Now, from the smoking area within the airport, I realized how powerful it was. I never noticed the power it exuded before. I have always been afraid of it, always thinking it will hit me and burn me away. For some obscure reason, it seemed to pump blood in my veins, making me feel very alive. It was beautiful.

Lightning sketched over the gray clouds and a sad smile crept through my lips. I closed my eyes and let the sound drill through me. Images of strong arms returned to my thoughts, a light laughter from thin soft lips slightly darkened by nicotine. The cigarette burned between my fingers and the smoke wafted under my nostrils. A face formed itself in my thoughts.

Tokiya.

"YUI!" a shrill voice called and I turned to find Miaka and Taka, walking toward me. I waved at them and took a sharp intake of breath from my cigarette. I breathed out, relishing the pungent smell it emitted. When I finished my stick, I placed my hand over my nose, smelling the traces it left in my fingertips. I stood up and pulled my trolley, offering the couple my prettiest smile.

"I thought you hate smoking," Miaka said and I laughed lightly. It was funny how easy it was for me to laugh lately. I pulled the pageboy cap down, hiding my melancholic reactions. The last I wanted was to make them feel that I'm sad to return. I wasn't. As a matter of fact, I was excited for this vacation.

"I still hate it," I stated softly. Miaka rolled her eyes and walked closer, moving her fingers along my shoulder-length hair.

"You cut your hair," she stated and I nodded. I had it cut in one of the salons in Berlin last week. My mom cried when she saw the length. "It suits you," Miaka added and I muttered a quick thank you.

Taka took my trolley and pulled it as we walked out of the airport. I've only been gone for a few weeks yet I felt like I've been gone for a year already. Time passed slowly and I think I have matured tremendously while in another country. Maybe leaving was a good idea after all. Maybe the change I was looking for, the emotional stability I craved all throughout high school lies in Berlin, where I'm far from everything.

"Should I drive you to the café?" Taka asked as we walked toward the exit. I turned to him and he handed me my trolley. The former warrior had purchased a car recently, said he hated being drenched in his motorcycle when it rains. I shook my head, smiling.

"I want to go to Todai," I said, looking down. Taka nodded. I liked Taka for never asking too much questions. I expected Miaka to ask why I decided to visit the university of my dreams but she let it slide. Instead, she took out an umbrella and gave it to Taka.

The cold wind blew and I pulled my coat tighter. Even with the rain and wind, the atmosphere was humid in Tokyo. It was one of the things I will certainly miss most from this city. Miaka leaned on my shoulder and nuzzled my arm. I knew she wanted to ask many things but something seemed to be stopping her.

"He stopped visiting the restaurant last week," my brunette friend said. I smiled thinly. "I know he wanted to ask where you are so I approached him and told him the day you left." I didn't say anything and Miaka continued. "You two should talk."

I nodded but before I could respond, Taka's car approached the area where we stood and we hastily went inside. I pulled my trolley as well, eager to miss the raindrops. None of us spoke while Taka drive but I never found it awkward. Maybe I needed the space, the solitude to think about things. For one, I came back to see him, to say a proper goodbye. As a girl, I wanted a closure. I wanted to see him in the future and not look back regretting what I could have done to make things right with him. I wanted to end whatever we had, carry it in my heart until it gives way to a new emotion, a new feeling, a new person.

There was very little chance of seeing him in Todai but I wanted to be in a place we both dreamed of. Todai was the place I'll always yearn for, a place to cross my mind every now and then when I look back on our brief summer affair. Yanagi said he stopped renting the apartment near the park and moved inside campus. I wanted to see the world he belongs in, the place that could have been mine as well. As if doing so can make the pain lighter in my heart. Todai was what could have been.

I told Taka to stop the car at the gates of the campus. I told him I'll walk inside so he doesn't need to surrender his ID. I told him I wanted to walk along the cherry blossoms, along the park, along the still damp pavement. I wanted to smell the earth after a good shower. I wanted it to stick with me and forever remind me of home.

"It's fine. You don't have to wait for me," I told them as I pulled my bag. Miaka smiled widely and winked.

"Yui—Good luck!" I waved and they sped off. When they were gone, I immediately turned toward the campus and started to walk.

The cherry blossoms still colored the place in shades of light pink, the petals dropping slowly on the surface of pools of rainwater. I missed the beauty of Tokyo during the summers. With no family to return to, I don't think I'll ever return to Tokyo after this vacation. There was no reason to visit. The thought made me sad. And I wondered if people who leave their hometowns feel this way. Did they feel this emptiness, this aching throbbing at the pit of the stomach? Did they feel the chill moving through their veins when they finally returned and nobody knew them? They say that if one person returns to his or her homeland and no one remembers them, it means they have successfully cut their roots.

"Yui…?" a strange voice called me and I turned to find a college man walking my way. He smiled wider and I looked back quizzically.

"Yes?"

"Oh, you are more beautiful in person," he noted and I felt my cheeks burn. I rummaged through my head for a name but nothing came. I don't know this person at all.

"I'm sorry…?"

"You came to see the exhibit, right?" he asked and I raised an eyebrow. "Tokiya-san didn't say you're coming over," he said and my face lit up.

"Tokiya… Do you know where he is?" I asked. Maybe finding him around university wasn't going to be very hard at all. I barely talked to anyone and this guy knew him!

"He should be by the gallery area. I can look for him—"

"No, please don't stress yourself. I'll look for him myself," I told him. Honestly, I would have asked this guy to look for Tokiya if only we were friends. Too bad I have to miss this opportunity. But then, I was not in the best mood to be friends with strangers today.

"Well, if you say so. This is the way to the exhibit. Have you seen the photos?" he asked and I shook my head. "Then you should see them. Tokiya couldn't give a complete selection but his pictures were really good so we insisted he include it."

"That's good to hear," I said, hoping he made out the fact that I don't want to talk to him anymore. I want my solitude. I want to look for Tokiya without causing a bedlam in the campus.

"Actually, the club exhibit became popular because of his pictures. Too bad he's not selling any prints. There are many offers—"

"Thank you, I'll see them for myself," I told him and he bowed down.

"Okay, I'll tell Tokiya you're here when I see him," he said and waved before leaving. I heaved a sigh afterward. How was it possible that Tokiya associated himself with a talkative cheerful guy? It was unlike him to prefer a noisy crowd.

Another sigh left me when I arrived at the gallery area. I instinctively entered—it was after all free of charge. People turned to me when I walked inside and I realized maybe my trolley was out of place or my hair was in disarray or my make-up was smudged all over my face. There must be something wrong with me for them to look. And I told myself I should have went for the female bathroom first.

I hurriedly walked around, looking for him. I just want this day to get over with. Whispers emanated around me and I pulled my cap lower. What the hell was wrong with my face? Then I saw it… the cause of the commotion. Erected in front of me was another me, the me a few months ago. The me who ran across the park after the rain. The me with the skirt hitched up. The me Tokiya captured in a photograph. _This_ photograph.

I gasped.

My eyes were closed and my hands were spread in front of me, my hair flying behind me. I looked like someone who flew down from the skies. Everything was washed in blue and purple—the hydrangeas, the pools of rain water, my skirt. The air around me was misty and if it weren't for my uniform, I would have been mistaken for some mythical creature. The photograph was lovely. My eyes landed on the details of the photograph.

**Goddess**

Mikagami Tokiya

I covered my mouth, surprised. Tears beaded my eyes. My eyes caught the other photographs on pinned beside the biggest one. I pulled my trolley and looked at them, a lump forming itself on my throat, my heart beating in my chest, my ears. The next photo was of me and Miaka, behind the counter. Then there was the one during the festival, when I wore my Summer furisode. Another picture showed me on the beach, watching the fire dancers but my eyes lighting in deep green, the skies behind me in deep blue. Then the last photograph was of me in his dark blue shirt, watching the rain from the window of his apartment. The title made my heart burn. And I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

**Addiction**

Then it hit me. In all these instances, I ran away from him, I evaded him, I pushed him away. But I always came back, he always came back. It was like we're both standing on both ends of a long red rope and the more we try to pull apart, the closer we become. The more we try to leave, the longer we stay. Like that night during the festival, we were tied, bonded with something that wouldn't break. No matter how hard I pulled, no matter how he tried to untie it, the bond wouldn't break, like it was imbued in us.

I smiled, a painful smile. Realizing this, can I still face him and say goodbye?

* * *

IT'S RAINING AGAIN. I heaved another sigh. It seemed that he weather had been very erratic lately. Probably because the summers was ending and its some sort of last hurrah before the next season comes in. I breathed in and out, letting the cold humid smell of the world enter me and fill me up. The heaviness in my chest had slowly dissipated.

I felt better now. But still, something inside won't go away. The pain was gone, yes. But it seemed to have moved out and gave way to another emotion. No, its not a negative emotion that could kill. Its something good, something hopeful.

I looked up at the cloudy skies as the rain poured. I wondered, does it rain where she was now?

"Mi-chan," a familiar voice called and I turned to find Yanagi. She smiled. The gang was standing behind her. "Congratulations on your exhibit, Mi-chan," she said, giving me a small present. The others took their spaces beside me on the bench, on the rooftop of the main building.

"Thanks," I muttered. I opened the present and saw a lomo camera. I laughed lightly. I have always wanted to try this type of photography out.

"I had a quick chat with her over the weekend," Yanagi said and I looked up, raising an eyebrow. Her? "I told her you moved inside the campus." Yanagi sat beside me and looked out at the pouring rain. "She said she misses you a lot. I think she wants to see—"

"Ah, there you are!" Toshiro, a colleague in the photography club, rushed toward me, heaving.

"What's wrong?" I asked, standing up from the bench.

"She's here!" he screamed and my ears perked up. She? "Your muse, goddess—Yui-san is here!" I thought a large hurricane hit me and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"REALLY?" Yanagi squealed. "Where is she?"

"I left her by the exhibit area. But that was about an hour ago—hey Tokiya!"

I was running down the stairs, my heart on my throat. I couldn't breathe right. If I could jump from the topmost floor to the lowest I would have done so. Just to get down in the soonest. Just to reach her before she leaves again.

It was like a scene in the movies. There was indeed a tinge of reality into it. Of men rushing to the airport to stop the ones they love from leaving. But the adrenaline-rush, the thrill, the suffocating sensations that pervaded my chest, the wariness of being left behind—these were the things the movies tried but could never show. These were the emotions that lacked photographs, no matter how keen and perceptive they were. These emotions drummed through my whole being as I ran around, looking for her.

"Yui," I whispered her name as I breathed. Inside me, I was uttering a silent prayer. Please don't leave just yet. Let me find you. I always find you, don't I? Wait. Please just wait. "Where is she?" I asked another junior and he was taken aback.

"If you mean Yui-san, she left almost ten minutes ago," he told me and my fist clenched. "She was pulling a pink trolley around. Maybe she has a plane to catch," he added and I shook my head.

I ran again. Would Yui leave so soon? Heck, she always leaves so soon. The only time she stayed was that night, when I finally had my chance to be inside her. I cursed in my head. I shouldn't be thinking of intimate moments between us. The mission at hand was to find her. _That_ could follow after—if she wanted it of course.

The problem, I realized, was that I don't know where to find her. I knew very little of Yui before she left. I knew that she has a temper, she hated being controlled, she hated not being in control. I laughed lightly, I never really knew what she was like. All I can attest for now, was that she was gentle and perfect. And the smallest things she does takes my breath away. Those were not big leaps to begin with and I wondered if that was the reason why the relationship between us never flourished into a relationship. We never had the time to get to know each other better. Whenever we were together, we were always in our worst states.

My feet brought me to the park where we first met, where I used to always watch her from a nearby bench. The hydrangeas were still in full bloom but they were no longer as beautiful after that first Summer rain. I wiped my shoulders and my head, now damp from the little rain I ran into while looking for her. And I knew the heavens blessed me today because a few meters from me, in the same familiar bench, I saw her.

Yui was smoking, looking at the hydrangeas. Her shoulders were slumped down and she heaved a sigh. Her hair, which used to cover her back, was chopped at her shoulder blades. She was still beautiful. I cleared my throat and she turned. Her beautiful eyes, that were blue in the morning, widened and I smirked. I walked toward her, in the same time a heavy downpour came and trapped us under the shade.

She looked away, puffing faster. I walked closer, sat beside her on the bench, and stole the cigarette from between her fingers. She made a sound of protest which lasted until I placed the cigarette in my mouth, inhaling and then releasing the nicotine. The bitterness spread over my tongue. I smirked. I had just indirectly kissed her. I then threw the cigarette in the deluge, where it fizzled out for good.

"You don't smoke," I said, not looking at her but looking ahead. She didn't respond quickly, not after she heaved another sigh.

"Whenever I smell it, I can imagine Tokiya beside me," she added, laughing lightly. She probably thinks it was stupid but it made my heart beat loud. Nobody spoke between us and I rummaged for something to say just to break the unbearable silence between us. But then, where do I begin?

"The summer's ending," I said slowly, not knowing what to say. It was one of those conversations where nobody knew what to say so someone stupidly says something about the weather or the season.

"Dad allowed me to stay for the whole month…" she told me, very softly. "It'll be Fall soon. School will start…"

I didn't respond. I knew where this conversation was heading. She'll tell me she's leaving for good, no idea when she'll be back. She's gonna cut all ties with me, say it'll be good for me. It was the same old familiar shit, the makings of a break-up.

"I… I've been very unfair to you… I came back to tell you that… you don't have to be attached to me. Once this month ends, I'm sure you'll find someone serious—"

"You're not a fling," I cut her and her eyes widened. She bowed lower, clutching her fingers together. I watched her from the sides of my eyes, this woman I loved so much. "Even if this summer ends, I'll still feel this damn same way about you," I whispered in a soft voice I knew she would hear.

The tears finally fell from her eyes and she looked away, immediately wiping them. The sight pained me. If telling her what I feel comes with seeing that painful look in her face… Should I just shut up then? Should I let her say her goodbyes then? Secretly hoping she'll change her mind at the middle of it? My fist clenched. I don't love unconditionally, I knew it for a fact. I am selfish, what I want, I get. Right now, what I wanted most in the world, more than anything I'll ever want, was this woman in front of me.

"Do you love me?" I asked and she turned to me. Her blue eyes softened and the tears poured. Relief washed through me. She doesn't have to say it, her reactions spelled it out. She loves me. Yui loves me.

"I'm sorry…" she said, her voice breaking as she spoke. I crossed the gap and wrapped her around my arms, tight. Very tight. "I'm very sorry… I love you—I really do," she whispered and I leaned down to capture her mouth for a kiss, cupping her face. The kiss tasted of tears but I don't want it to end. I wanted to continue kissing her. A soft moan left her and I slowly moved away, looking deeply into her beautiful eyes.

"Then don't say goodbye—"

"I can't do that!" she cut me, her face registering guilt. I feel selfish having you wait—"

"Yui—I want you to be selfish with me," I told her. "I've waited for you all my life. Three years is short, I can wait," I added and her cheeks brightened. I planted kisses on the tip of her reddening nose, on her forehead, on her eyes, her cheeks. When I looked into her eyes again, the tears have cleared.

"I'll be here every Summer break, every Winter break, every Spring break—I'll be here every season if I can just to see you!" she told me and I answered with a smile. I embraced her again and she held me tight. "Tokiya… Tokiya…"

The way she mentioned my name created a pain my heart, a different type of pain, a longing type of pain. The summer will be our season, one I'll wait patiently, painstakingly every day, every hour, every second. Once it comes, I'll never want it to end and I will dread the browning of the leaves.

"I'll wait for the rain to return… Because it will bring you along with it," I whispered and she blushed, laughing lightly. We kissed again, passionate and deep. When we pulled away, I was heaving hard, staring intently at her beautiful blue eyes.

"I miss you," she whispered, cupping my face and moving her fingers over my heated cheek. She planted a quick kiss on my lips and I followed her mouth, begging for another one. She laughed lightly.

"Too bad I stopped renting the apartment," I muttered and she smiled. If I knew she'd come back I would have rented it for another month. Thousands of options appeared in my head to solve our lack of place to go. I should have not forgotten my wallet in the campus. A love-hotel would have been the best bet at the moment.

"Anywhere with you is fine," she answered and I raised an eyebrow. I pulled her to straddle me on the bench and she squeaked as I pulled her knees around my thigh. She wrapped her arms around my neck, our noses touching.

"Let's do it here then," I whispered and she flushed, that cute redness that spread from her cheeks to the tips of her luscious ears. It was a crazy offer, even Yuri refused when I offered to fuck her on the hallway. I'm not an exhibitionist really, I merely wanted to know how far women will go with me.

"But someone might—"

"People seldom pass by this area," I pointed out. I thought she knew that fact since I chose this spot for taking photos of the hydrangeas. "It's raining hard. Even if you scream, no one will take notice," I added and she looked around. "This is where we first met," I told her and she turned to me, eyeing me intently. "Let's make a good memory on this bench."

A shy smile slowly crept through her face and I took the liberty of capturing her mouth for another kiss. I inserted a hand inside her shirt and she squirmed when I moved the brassiere aside to cup her breast. The typhoon continued to pour but heat filled me as I explored her skin. I moved lips to suckle on her neck and she released a light moan controlled moan. My pants tightened. Holy Kami, its been so long since we last did this. My hand left her breast and roamed her leg, until I reached the damp spot between her legs.

"Tokiya…" she called softly, her voice succumbing to the loud thunders that whacked the skies. "Oh, Tokiya…" I inserted a finger and she squirmed, biting her lips to suppress a moan. My other hand supported her back as I crooked my fingers inside her, making her arch back and cry in my ears.

"I love you," I whispered and captured her lips for a deep kiss. I lost thoughts of what happened in-between until I finally managed to slid inside her, with skirt, underwear and all. Yui's nails dug on my shoulders as a slow heavy moan left her mouth.

I was lost in her and we rocked, slowly at first until we were madly moving on the bench, kissing, arching, moaning as we become one again and again. As she moved together, against each other, fulfilling the desires only our bodies can give, satisfy after a long absence. Again and again I realized that there was nowhere in the world for me but inside her warm body.

"Yui—"

We kissed again, deep as we rocked faster until gentleness no longer existed between us. Until there was nothing but that union, her and me and our pleasure. She screamed when we reached the pinnacle but I covered the sound with my mouth as a loud thunder cracked the skies. Slowly, the rain stopped its rampage and became a light drizzle. Yui snuggled around my neck and embraced her, relishing the heat of being inside her body.

"Tokiya…" she whispered, voice sleepy and tired. "Don't make me do this again…" I laughed lightly, biting the lobe of her ear. "My heart was pumping too loud… I was so scared someone will see us while we're doing it…"

I didn't answer. Instead, I moved off her. She moaned contentedly as we finally parted. I cupped her face and kissed her lips. "I love you. Don't forget—I love you." She laughed lightly, blushing. We kissed again before she stood up and arranged herself. I stood up as well, looking around to make sure nobody saw us, arranging my pants. There was one trouble, though. We were both soaked down there.

"Let's run into the deluge," I suggested and she nodded. I took her hand and pulled the trolley from her. Together, we went toward the rain to hide the remains of what we did.

"Where are going?" she asked and I smiled thinly, still walking ahead.

"I'm getting my things and we're renting an apartment for the month," I told her. She looked at me with questioning eyes and I merely leaned down to kiss her.

I can never tell Yui I don't like the idea of others seeing her in a state of pleasure. I don't want anyone to hear her harried breathing, her throaty screams as she comes. I want a room to capture the tender way she calls my name as we ride our pleasures. I don't want the open air to engulf her presence and create goosebumps on her skin. I wanted to do those things to her myself.

Everything in her was for me. Just me.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ The original plan was to have Yui change her mind and stay for good but that will be similar with __**Eien no Monogatari**__. I realized too that I always make Yui leave to study abroad and I attempted to make it Tokiya this time. But I realized that if I do that, readers will love Tokiya less since he started out as an ass. Also, I like the fact that he's waiting for his goddess all throughout the year. Kinda makes things hopelessly romantic. _

_Thanks for everyone who read this fic to the end. Rest assured that I'm putting up extra chapters in this story after this last chapter. _


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